Scared and Lost

[Shobob]

Hello,

Really finding it hard to come to terms with my dad's illness due to alcohol.

I'm 28 and still don't feel ready to let him go. The last few years have been constant trips to A&E and in-patient stays for him at  the hospital, as a consequence of years of alcohol abuse.

At the start of this year, he finally stopped drinking and we were hoping he'd get a liver transplant very soon to save his life.

Around mid-September, I took him to the hospital for an outpatient appointment at which point, he was still working full time, looking after himself and generally going about his day to day life. He was then admitted and was eventually transferred to a specialist hospital for the transplant assessment, which didn't go as we'd hoped.

After a few months, he was finally discharged and is back home but everyday I can see his health declined gradually. Breaks my heart to see him like this. This is not the dad I remember growing up and is just a shell of what he used to be.

I've so many emotions floating in my head and dont know how to deal with it all. I've not had to deal with the death of a close family member since I was 8 yo. I mean, where do you even start? Lately, I've been very demotivated and dont really see the point of carrying on without him

[reader]

Dear Shobob,

I'm sorry to hear how difficult it has been with your dad's health. We love our parents so much and none of us want to see them suffer or be unwell. We hope so much that they will recover. It's hard to dealing with all these raw feelings about what is happening.

I found this article and I hope it will help you a little:

https://whatsyourgrief.com/anticipatory-grief

There are also other articles on the site that might help you feel better .

Thinking of you.