Rings?

[Jennifer15]

When or did you take off you’re engagement/wedding rings? I decided today to put mine back on. I wasn’t wearing it for a while because I had a finger injury last year that didn’t heal but the swelling has finally gone down enough to wear it again. I also put the wedding band on too even though we never got around to getting married (we were together almost 19 years so we pretty much already were). We were going to be getting married soon but unfortunately that was another future plan that got cut short due to this tragedy.It is bringing me some comfort wearing them both but I’m afraid of what people are going to think about me wearing both rings. I don’t want to offend anyone. We were getting there, it just didn’t get to happen so I eventually would have been wearing both at some point anyway and when my time comes, I’m getting buried with both rings on my finger.  I have never actually worn them both before and I figured he spent all the money on them so why not? He also spent money to have them resized last year and then I injured my finger and couldn’t wear my engagement ring until now. 

[jmmosley53]

Hi Jennifer,

You have every right to wear both your rings.  They are your rings, given to you by your beloved.  Don't worry about what anyone says.  It is no ones' business what jewelry you wear.  I do not know what state you live in but in my state (Texas) people who have been together 19 years are common law married, ceremony or not.

My engagement and wedding ring are too small for me after 46 years, and my husband's wedding band it too big.  I was hoping that someday I can have them made into one ring that fits.  I will be so proud to wear that ring.

 

[charlie1190]

My girlfriend and I used commitment rings since our first year together, (we were together 11 years before our time got cut short), and I'm planning on using both our rings for some time on my finger, and then I'll probably get a silver necklace made and I'll be using them both in my chest, forever most likely.

[KayC]

These are our rings, I designed them, at the same time he designed a necklace for me, matching!  
Both of us did them as a surprise to the other, the surprise being they went together!  We were always on the same wavelength!

[jmmosley53]

Kay,

They are lovely

[foreverhis]

22 hours ago, Jennifer15 said:

It is bringing me some comfort wearing them both but I’m afraid of what people are going to think about me wearing both rings. I don’t want to offend anyone.

Hello.  Before I answer, I just want to say that we do not care whether you have a marriage certificate.  You were married in your hearts and minds.  Yes, it is lovely to have the ceremony (and in our case, a small, fun party after), but that's not what makes a marriage of soulmates.  You clearly were, which means you still are.

And that's a big part of my answer.  To be blunt, please do not worry about offending anyone.  These choices are yours and yours alone.  Wearing them gives you comfort and makes you feel connected to him.  You belong to and with each other. 

I had always heard this "etiquette" of switching wedding sets/rings to the right hand after a year or something.  As my husband would have said, pish-tosh to that!  (While he wasn't above swearing when warranted, he had a whole bunch of not-swears that always made me chuckle.)  I wear my wedding ring on my left hand just the same as I have since he smiled at me and slipped it on my finger.  I wear his on a chain around my neck.  It's kind of heavy for a pendant on smallish me, but I don't feel the weight of it.  I only feel the connection.  I do not intend to ever take off my wedding ring or switch it to my right hand.  I also do not care one little bit if anyone ever thinks it strange or offensive.  These are our rings; this is our marriage; and these are my choices.

Please, as considerate as it is to think about how other people feel, this truly is all about you and your husband.  I am so very sorry you have to think about these choices at all.

[Diane R. E.]

I would proudly wear my wedding ring on my left hand if I still had it. However, about 10 years ago, it was stolen right off my finger by an intruder that broke into our home in the middle of the night when my husband was at work. They eventually caught the person who broke in and convicted him, but he had sold my jewelry to a gold shop and it had already been melted down. We never bought a replacement ring because my wedding ring was one of a kind, and nothing could replace it, When my husband died this past October and I realized our wedding anniversary was coming up, it dawned on me to get a silver band with his birthstone (January) woven into it. Now I wear it on my left hand and it helps me to feel connected to him.

[KayC]

Diane, I am so sorry someone stole your band and sold it to be melted!  Our wedding rings are sacred, so much more than mere $!  I have my husband a ring (separate from wedding band) with a lion on it, for a wedding gift, to show his value to me!  When he died it was stolen, I know who took it, but can't prove it, she's the only one who had access to it.  I reported it to the police and supplied them with a picture and receipt for it, also sent it to the pawn shops in the area, but I don't think she wanted it for $, I think she kept it.  It wasn't about $ to me, it was something sacred between George and I.