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Grief & Emotional Issues from Finanical Loss


Kelly

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The year of 2020 has been a YEAR.  In the USA, we have an employment rate of 33% to 40% over the pandemic. Many people have been hired back but some people have not. They have lost everything. Throw in a death on top of it and our grief is compounded exponentially. This forum is discuss this silent grief journey. Find support here and a place to tell us your story without judgement.

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I recently learned that we are facing the loss of all the financial gains that we have made over the past forty years.  A combination of dishonest real estate developers and economic downturns(the latest being Covid 19) have brought us to this point.  I am emotionally broken to the point of wishing that I could cease to exist.  I know that it would be much worse to lose a loved one which adds a feeling of shame and guilt to the grief that I am feeling.  I have lost my financial security, my dreams for the future, my sense of trust and my hope.  Hope is an essential component of life.  The world as we know it has changed.  Our physical and emotional safety has been threatened.  I know that I am not alone but I feel very alone as this type of grief is stigmatized and hidden.  The world has experienced economic downturns in the past and I would like to find stories of hope from people who have navigated that journey.  All stories from grand recovery to smaller ones about learning to live with less would be appreciated.  Most of the stories that I have found are about people who have ended their lives due to financial hardship.  I have the love of three grown daughters and a one year old granddaughter.  This gives me the motivation to continue to search for the emotional support that I need to emotionally heal.  I know many people do not have support.  An online support group would be a good start to developing a social safety net.  I would appreciate hearing from anyone who can give me hope.  One day I would like to be the person who could give others the hope that they need.   Thank you for reading my post

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Anon,

That is so hard! I am sending you a big hug. Until you brought it to light I knew about the suffering and loss around financial devastation but more in the abstract. You heard about the Great Depression and how  people took their lives then do to financial loss. However, fast forward and you don't really grasp that it is happening today. Through in a loss of a pet or a person to the mix and it must feel crippling.

I am so glad you have the love of your three grown daughters and one granddaughter. Babies are little batteries of love.

Thank you for taking the first step to opening up this hidden, deep type of loss. Are there others also walking this same journey?

Kelly

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You are so welcome Anon. Do you think it is hard for people to talk about this type of grief? If so why?

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Thankfully I remained employed but did have some unexpected expenses which took a toll on my finances. However, one thing I have realized is that I am really thankful for my good health.

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Hi Anon,
I went through financial loss about 15 or so years ago. It was the result of not being able to stop a stalker. As the years went on (approaching a decade), the stalking took its toll on my mental health. I lost my ability to earn.
I lost my mental health, physical health, financial health, career and my social network. My so-called-friends left me as I was no longer a fun person to be with.
I remember wanting to die.
I finally stopped the stalking by leaving that life behind, moving to a different state and starting a new life.
With the ending of the stalking, I started to regain my mental health, the spiralling downwards stopped and I started to rise again.
But I will never fully recover or even half-way.

What I earned from that horrible period was - simply to appreciate the small things.
As there wasn't much to be thankful for, I lowered my standards.
I told myself I was lucky I had clean water. I was lucky I had a warm bed.
I told myself there are millions of people in this world who have it harder than me.
Although my health had deteriorated badly, I told myself that there are millions of people in this world that live in pain all their life.

I was lucky. I had a family who gave me a room and food. I lost everything else but I still had more than many millions of people.
I lowered my expectations. That's how I got through.
I have clean water. That makes me rich. That's how I kept myself going.
 

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Anon grief

Thank you Tessa.  I can see that you have been through so much.  It is hard to heal from such trauma but do not give up.  You deserve a happy life.  You words of encouragement are comforting.  This type of grief is very difficult to talk about but it is profound.

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Elizabeth711

In addition to losing my Mother I am also dealing with a lot of money issues and health problems. My home and needs so many repairs, painting, etc. I also have a lot of dental issues and need so much work done on my mouth. I make enough to get by but all these extra expenses are hard. I do not qualify for any aid programs. I also also so burned out at my job that it is hard to go to work and I have been making errors lately. I just wish I could quit and leave but I have not been able to find another job. Everything just feels so hopeless. 

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Elizabeth711

Just found out at my job that they are cutting my hours now. I feel like I try so hard and I just get penalized. 

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Dear Elizabeth, 

I am so sorry to hear what you've been dealing with. There is help in the community but sometimes it feels like we are hitting one brick wall after another. 

https://mentalhealthmn.org/support/community-resources/statewide-mental-health-resources/

I hope you'll try again and find something that will lift you up.

Thinking of you.

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