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Daisy


dko

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Daisy came into my life by accident in the fall of 2006. I was driving home from a friends house and decided at the last minute to get a gallon of milk. I turned onto a side street and had to slow down for a police car on the side of the road with flashing lights. I glanced over as I passed by to see a woman holding a small white dog down in the yard. The dog had her head raised and looked me as I went by, something about her stayed with me all night. I had been thinking about getting a dog so the next morning I called vet's offices. The second one had her and told her name was Daisy. They were getting ready to put her to sleep because she had a broken leg and the owner no longer wanted to care for her. Her leg was broken in a way that she would have to be taken over an hour away to have surgery. I left work and picked her up and took her to have a pin put her in leg. Her owner signed her over to me and I took her home. She was the best dog I have ever had or been around, she was so smart and loved to play. Her favorite place in the house was sitting on the back of the couch where she could see the front yard. She would bark at everything that moved, I could always tell her bark from if it was a person or an animal. She followed me everywhere I went. Every night when I sat in the recliner she would walk along the back of the couch and lay on the arm rest to be close to me. Sometimes she would raise her paw to let me know she wanted attention. If I was laying on the couch she would walk along the front of the couch and stop in front of me so I could pick her up. If I was working in the front yard I would leave the door open so she could watch me through the storm door. She loved to go on walks and would have to stop and smells everything.  She developed arthritis in her front legs a few years ago. She could no longer go up and down stairs. Every morning I would pick her up and carry down the stairs to the back yard. I would sit on the steps and wait on her to come back to me. Every time I picked her up she would jump a little with her front legs to help me. She would always give me a kiss on the cheek as I carried her down the stairs. She was so sweet and I know she loved me. She slept next to me every night for the 14 years of her life. She was more then just a pet, she was my soul dog. I know my life will never be the same now that she is gone. I have felt so guilty about her passing. I built ramps from her to get on the couch and the bed. She was on the couch on the 15th July and fell on the floor. She hurt her back and would not stand on her back legs. I rushed her to the vet and was going to take her to get an MRI. They did a blood test and told me her kidneys had stopped working. I was so devastated, I feel like I lost someone that was so important to and no one understands that.  I have cried every day since she died. I pray to god to please make sure she is safe, protected and in a good place and most important that she is loved. I loved her so much and I was so scared for her. I tried to so hard to make her life good. Since she looked out the windows all day I tinted them to protect her eyes. She knew my suv was too high for her to jump when I opened the door. She would walk into my arms and I would sit her on the ground. She loved to go for rides and pretty much let the neighborhood know she was getting to go on one. She would be so excited and bark and carry on. Coming home is not the same now, she was always so happy to see me. She would have that tail wagging like crazy every time I came home, even if it had only been 10 minutes. I have had trouble sleeping because she is no longer next to me. I have been in the waking process a few morning to see her sitting at the foot of the bed watching me. I heard her walking across the floor one night, she would always snort or make a noise to let me know she wanted on the bed. I could go on and on about this wonderful dog that changed my life. I saved her and gave her 14 years that she would not have had. I hope when I die that means something and I will get to be with her again. She is all I think about 24/7. Daisy was an American Eskimo mix. She was perfect for me and I could not have rescued a better companion. I never thought about a day I would be here without her and now that day is here. It has been so hard to deal with. 

daisy2.jpg.4e1c3183c5a813806c00c3f7900963fe.jpg119689518_daisycloseup.jpg.c5b1bdded6313b292390c5e26995d26f.jpg1085871997_daisy4.jpg.cd4e235684bf9141b5e8e570be0debf0.jpg

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Your Daisy is so beautiful, looks a little like my dog Fluffy did (He was Cocker Spaniel/American Eskimo). Here he is, at the right as a baby...

FluffySnow.jpg

FluffySanta.jpg

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I'm so very sorry for your loss of Daisy. She is a beauty. I lost my sweet Kitty back in July too. She was 17 years & 5 months at the time. She's been in my family since she was 6 months old and for the last 14 years, I took over her care. I too am devastated in the loss of her and the first initial weeks were extremely hard to bear. It hurts even more because she died unnecessarily for something that was treatable, not caught in time. Very hard to live with that and only wish I could go back to change things. She was perfect for me and I will never love anyone as deeply as I love her. They are so innocent and give us so much unconditional love & loyalty, that the loss of them just completely shatters us. What we would give to have more time with them.

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Hello, I am sorry about Kitty. I also wondered if Daisy's condition could have been caught sooner. I relied on the vet to tell me what tests she needed on a regular basis. I had no clue anything was going on until she fell. Up to that point she had been acting okay, other than her arthritis issues. I felt so guilty and that I should have taken those ramps away so she would not be able to get on the furniture. I miss her so much and it has not been easy. I have not dealt with it very well and still struggle. 

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The puppy belonged to Kay, she posted the pictures. I did not want Daisy to have puppies so I had her spayed. I kind of wish I had because I would have kept one or two or all of them. 

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Collettesweetbear

Awwwwe, yeah I think about that too. If I hadn’t had scooter fixed I could have had her babies. Then I could tell them how wonderful their mommy was and all the special gifts and love she gave me. Daisy’s baby photo’s are so lovely and emotional. Those eyes! See has these gorgeous eyes. Look at Daisy the puppy! What a real angel [emoji56] She is cute as a button with her little doggie button nose. I can see why you guys were made for each other. I can see why you both locked eyes and knew instantly she was the one. Look at her wearing the Santa hat!!!!!!! Precious, precious young lady. I love when I see dogs in hats. I just think doggies with little hats on gets me every time. Well, there’s no mistaking she sure was your soul mate. I miss scooter every moment. She was only 6 pounds her whole 17 years, but Hugh personality. Persians can get a little fussy. When she would hiss and get fussy I knew someone needed to go down for a little 30 mins. She would too. 30 min nap and she was practically clicking her heels with a bowel full of energy. What a darling she was.


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The puppy pics were my Fluffy, I was trying to show why her pics of Daisy reminded me of him, they both have similar blood lines.  Something about the eyes...

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Collettesweetbear

Omgosh, I see. My apologies. Wow fluffy you’re right fluffy could have been Daisy as a pup. Same gorgeous eyes, same color fur. Awwwwwwwwee. Yup, doggies sure have beauty and personality that is on a grand scale.


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Yep, that's why I posted pics of him, she reminds me of him, he was beautiful, and so sweet, I lost him about 23 years ago.

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Collettesweetbear

Yes, he looks exactly like Daisy. I thought for sure! Same color fur, sweet eyes.


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These aren't very good pictures of Fluffy, but honestly, remembering him, it was dejavu when I saw her pictures!

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I went to get the mail and when I walked back to the front door my 3 month old puppy was sitting at the door looking out just like Daisy did. He does so many things that remind me of her, I miss her so much. It was really hard to make the decision to get him. The woman that had him decided he needed to be in my house and asked me to take him. He was already spoiled when I got him. He slept on the bed with her kids and now he sleeps on the bed with me. He is a Eskimo and mini Australian Shepherd mix. Daisy was a Eskimo mix but not sure with what. 

teddy3.jpg

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Collettesweetbear

Awwwee, he’s beautiful. Look at that precious face. And, I believe I see a little smiling?!
What is his name?


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Is it Teddy?


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Yes, the kids that he spent the first 3 months with named him Teddy. I decided to leave him named that since he comes to me when I call him. 

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He is beautiful, adorable!  My Kodie is a Klee Kai, which was bred to be a miniature Husky with the American Eskimo for the size, they started the breed in 1984, they're rare and HTF.  I recognize the Eskimo in his face by the shape of the nose, and also he does this squeaking noise that reminds me of my little sister's Am. Eskimos.  He has the tiny feet too, but personality is much like Husky and so much soft fur!  I love the eyes in Teddy (I used to have a golden retriever named teddy because he looked like a teddy bear when I got him as a puppy. 

I wish you many many years with him!

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Hi Kay,

   How did you get used having a puppy? There is a breeder in MO that has Klee Kai's. She had a litter of a Klee Kai and Eskimo mix a few months ago. I almost bought one but decided it was too soon after Daisy and I was not ready. Teddy has helped a lot with not feeling so alone, that is why I wanted another dog. My house was just so empty feeling with Daisy not here. He does things that remind me so much of her. When I walk him in the front yard if there is something he is interested in he pull at the leash in that direction every time we go out. Daisy would do the same thing and would fight me to go back to that spot every time. She used to find dead worms in the grass, she would taste it than roll on it. I guess it's an eskimo thing because he dose the same thing. I took him to my sisters today, 3rd time. He was scared of her dogs but today she started playing with her young shih tzu. They chased each other around the house and barked a lot. I had to help her get her Christmas tree's out and put together. She told me I needed to get another puppy for him to play with. I am not sure I am ready for another one right now. I will just take him to her house to play. I hope I did the right thing in getting him. I know I will never get over Daisy.    

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This little guy is so delightful, he captured my heart!  He wasn't daunted by my grief and reverence of Arlie, he just kept on with his adorableness and broke through the fog that is mine now.  He is so in tune with me and even my pain, whether inner or physical.  I've always had a dog so I'm used to walking them, etc.  He housebroken within about three months of getting him, finally went from "accidents" to none.  Can hold it a long time now.  He did require a lot of watching as he ate my carpet in four places and chewed on my rocking chair, got my shoe once and a couple of pairs of socks.  ;)  I've learned to not leave the socks lying on the floor!  And I close my bedroom door when I leave him alone in the house.  But he's very good now and learning all the time.  He is great company.  Wish I could have seen the pups in MO!  Wonder what size they'll get?  Kodie was the runt of the litter but he's catching up, 16 1/2 lbs I'd guess, his parents each 20.

Me too, I'll never be over Arlie, maybe that's why God gave me one so different!  He knew I couldn't find another Arlie, they don't exist.  Yet sometimes things about him remind me of Arlie, like how they lay on the floor when they want a bellyrub!

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On 11/21/2020 at 3:02 PM, Collettesweetbear said:

 

Hi Kay,  Teddy is the same way, he just marches on no matter how I feel. I just took him to the vet for his second booster shot, the first at my vet's. The vet called me and said they all loved him, he was very good and never made a fuss over anything. I am glad about that because I have never had one that acted up. She told me he weighs 15 pounds now so that should put him around 30 as a adult. Teddy is pretty much house broke, he will go to the front door and sit when he wants out. I have bells hanging on the back door but he has not used those yet. I am still working on that with him. I have not left him very long so I am not sure about accidents yet, I take him out every couple of hours. 

I hate to keep going on about Daisy but I can't help it. This morning I was thinking about how I used to whisper her name when she was sleeping next to me. Her ear would twitch and she would wag her tail. When she would stop I would do it again and she would wag her tail. She would do that the whole time she was snoring. I picture her now hearing me say her name and wagging her tail. 

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Ahh, that is so sweet!  She was aware of you even in her sleep!  Arlie always let me know when he needed to do his business and I'd let him out, Kodie doesn't, I have to take him out.  He has the crazy notion he shouldn't do it in his fence!  Also won't use the doghouse.  First dog I had that wouldn't!  I take him out twice to go and walk him two other times in between.  On a schedule.  I guess that's good except not sure what I'll do when it snows deep, he's too short to get around in it!  And if I shovel a place for him to go, no way to get that idea across to him!  Hoping it doesn't snow that much but there have been times here over the years that it got deep.  Owning a small dog is a new thing to me, used to Arlie, who was tall and big!  I miss him...

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Hi Kay, I am kind of having the same issue with Teddy. He will go to the front door and sit, so I know he needs to go out. He will not go out in the yard unless I am standing at the bottom of the steps. I hope he gets over that at some point. He is starting to walk the whole yard instead of staying close to the house so maybe he will adventure out on his own.  I would always make a path through the snow for Daisy. Most of the time she would end up making her own path, I guess she did not like the one I made. I will clear a big place in the yard for her but sometimes that was not where she wanted to go. I am going to start taking Teddy to daycare two days a week. I hope that will help him some of his separation anxiety. It is supposed to storm bad here over night. I guess I will be finding out how he does with lightening and thunder. If Daisy saw flashing lights out side she would start shaking before she heard the thunder.    

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Collettesweetbear

You know, it could be thunder and lightning and Scooter wouldn’t flinch. I could vacuum right by the couch where she was sitting and she wouldn’t flinch. Maybe on occasion when she was asleep on my chest and a really loud lighting/thunder “BOOM” she might lift her head and that’s it! A cat even! I could clap my hands and dance and she would just stand there and watch, yawn and walk off. She could hear perfectly. Vet said, she passes hearing tests beautifully, no hearing loss one bit. My neighbor says her cat fly’s under the bed, and there’s no getting her out. Amazing that Scooter. They have their own little things to them.

DKO, KayC, did getting Teddy as a new little friend help you with the unbearable pain? I know you and KayC think about Daisy and Arlie every second of the day, me too. Does having Teddy and Kodie help any with the “I can’t function” pain? My therapist wants me to get another cat and just when I think ahhh, a new little kitten, Scooter’s face pops in my mind and I immediately cry and switch back to, I could never go through this pain again. Not twice.


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Hi,  I did the same thing about Daisy many times. I would get close to getting another dog and I would see a picture of Daisy. I would not be able to go through with it and back out. I felt so many regrets with Daisy and she deserved so much more. I was thinking about the times I left her alone to go help a friend at her coffee bar. The times I went to the show, I never went at night. I know I did a lot for Daisy and gave her so much but was it enough? The thing for me was I did not want to correct my mistakes with another dog I wanted to correct them with her. I wanted her life to be perfect. I was not going to get this puppy but the woman that asked him texted me 3 times. She asked me to take him and give him the home he deserves. I broke down and took him. There are several things he does that reminds me so much of Daisy. As soon as I start driving with him in the passenger seat he goes to sleep, just like she did. He stretches' out against the pillow on the bed just like she did. I have caught him sleeping on his back with his legs straight up in the air. He sits in front of me and stares at me if he wants me to play with him. I couldn't tell you how many times Daisy did that. I would be reading a book and there she would be staring at me until I put the book down and play. I wish I could do all of that over with her again. I would have taken her more places with me. 

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Collettesweetbear

I know you would have DKO. 🥺 Daisy was the love of your life. Your child/soulmate/best friend. And, on and on. I’m right there with you. I could have played with scooter more and thrown her little soccer ball and she would run fast as she could to go get it and then she would just stand there with her little ball. She’s a cat of course she’s gonna stand there. So, I would run to her and throw back the other way. She ran and ran and then stood there. Too funny. She loved her little pink soccer ball. I can look back and think of countless times I was busy doing something and I could have played soccer with her. If only I would have been there for her more and cuddled more. [emoji20]


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Collettesweetbear

Does having Kodie and Teddy help? I know you guys will love any pet you have but, does having them help a little with the loss? I still cry everyday. Not 20 times a day like before but, once I see her in my mind or her pictures like I posted I fall apart. I know scooter wouldn’t want this suffering for me but, I guess I’m really broken.


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Hi,

  I know how you feel. When I start thinking about the things I should have done I try to think about what I did. When I had Daisy spayed I took the bed apart in my extra bedroom. I put the mattress on the floor so she could get on it and sleep next to me. We slept there until she got to where she could move around better. I made the platform my main bed is on and over the years I cut the legs down three different times to make it easier for her to get on and off the bed. After I first got her I was going to have to travel for work. I was worried if I left her at the kennel for a week she might think I was not going to come back. I left her one night the week before, late that afternoon I wanted to go get her so bad because I missed her. I was always concerned because I live in a earthquake zone and work in the basement at the hospital. When I first moved in this house there was a 4.7 quake that scared her. I was worried that if I got trapped at work who would take care of her? Anytime I had to drive very far I always thought about how long it would take me to walk back. If it was very long she went with me and I always took a bottle of water, dogfood and a bowel. I did not care if I was going go hungry but she was not. When the ice storm hit in 2009 I was not going to leave her in this cold dark house. I was lucky my friend let me bring her to stay for 9 days or I would have been in this house with her. If it looked like it was going to storm bad I would come home and work the rest of the day. I know I did a lot of good for her and I need to stop thinking about the things I should have done. When she could no longer walk up and down stairs I carried out in the yard and waited on her. If was raining I wore a rain jacket and I held an umbrella over her. I carried about her more than anything on this earth. I know she probably did not understand what I was doing for her but I hope it was enough so that I am with her with I die. I hope I did more for her than what anyone else would have done. 

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23 hours ago, dko said:

It is supposed to storm bad here over night.

I hope all is well!  Kodie isn't scared of anything that I can tell.  He's very self assured so that's a plus.  Arlie had anxiety when alone in the house but felt secure in his pen/yard but I did worry about cougars hopping the fence, it was a plus that he was so big.  But he was such a gentle spirit.  Kodie is small so would not stand a chance, I feel protective of him and often leave him in the house unless it'll be more than six hours, then he goes in the pen.  He won't stay in the doghouse, he sits outside in it, it's covered but still gets sideways rain & snow blows in.

Kodie has helped tremendously, I don't know how I'd have survived w/o him this year especially being shut in with the pandemic, all alone.  It's hard to take mentally.  And he takes up my time so I have less time to think, a plus.  He gives me incentive to go on.  He can be self-entertaining but he "checks in with me" all the time and prefers to be nearby me.

16 hours ago, Collettesweetbear said:

If only I would have been there for her more

I think we ALL feel that, regardless of loss.  I wish I'd signed my husband up for a better cell plan instead of getting on him when he went over on his minutes (back then we had limits and going over was expensive).  I wish I'd given Arlie more rides/walks, even though we walked twice a day every day, regardless of weather/roads.

1 hour ago, dko said:

I did a lot of good for her and I need to stop thinking about the things I should have done.

 

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Yes, they were our children.  But loss of a pet is a disenfranchised grief...one society doesn't recognize.  I was lucky, my church prayed for us while I gave him hospice, and following his death.  They even signed a sweet card that I will always cherish.  I got lots of cards, I have them on my dining room table still.  It's been 1 1/4 years.  

Me & Arlie sm.jpg

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Hi,

   I had to take off work 2 days after Daisy passed away. I should have taken off longer because I was just not all there. I went to the park and walked where it was quiet, I tried to walk in the mall but the music that was playing was too much. I still do not feel like listening to anything on my ipod when I walk. I just want it to be nice and quiet so I can think about Daisy. I take Teddy on walks in the afternoon but it is not a very long walk. He lets me know when he is tried and wants me to pick him up. 

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Collettesweetbear

Oh, Dko I just read this that you like to go on walks and want it silent so you can think about Daisy. I’m the same. I use to turn on my cell phone to soft music and scooter would fall asleep on my chest listening to soft violins or piano or nature sounds, rain on a window or birds chirping, leaves blowing. I did that for many years. She never said, but I gathered she liked it because she seemed to relax and fall asleep quick and she slept more deeply as she would start snoring! Yup, no kidding...my Kitty was snoring. Not, loud but, still. I think maybe because Persians have flatter faces and nose? Not sure. Her’s wasn’t as flat as the common Persians, their faces are really flat. I haven’t listened to our violins or nature sounds since. Very soothing but, I can’t. That’s what me and scooter did together. It was our thing. I don’t want to hear any music. I’m glad you have Teddy to walk. I know you are thinking about Daisy and all your walks and all the things you did together. I’m still wowed about you taking the bed frame apart so, Daisy could get on the mattress and you slept with her. I would have too. Scooter had a long life to the vet. She had many internal problems because of all the inbreeding those breeders do to have the perfect show cat. The turquoise eyes, the perfect black eye liner around their eyes. Hard to see in pictures but, scooter had turquoise eyes. Sometimes a little more green, sometimes a little more blue when the sunlight hit just so. But, mostly an aqua color. So, to make sure all the details are perfect they inbreed their best shows even if it’s the sister and brother, etc. so, I did not know any of this since I didn’t know very much about animals then. Beautiful on the outside but, they have many troubles on the inside. They especially have gastritis life long. Scooter’s gums kept bleeding when she was about a year old. They wouldn’t stop and my vet said (I had a feline specialist vet, way more expensive, but I knew scooter was going to need one for life) she had to take scooter’s teeth out because she was allergic to the enamel on her teeth. Yup, her gums were allergic to the enamel. Not a rare thing with this breed. My vet said scooter’s not going to eat because it’s pretty bad. She showed me and I couldn’t believe how bad her gums were. Vet said, the procedure is very invasive and the pain after is bad, but once healed after about a week to two her quality of life shoots right back up to the top. Cats don’t have teeth like dogs and humans 🦷 like this. Cat are attached to the jaw bone..so she had to put scooter under and shaved/sawed off her back teeth with special little surgical saw. She left the 4 canines and little tiny teeth in the front. The gums weren’t affecting the canines and little ones in the front. She did end up having to remove one top canine later on. Well, my poor baby went into my closet in the back under the hanging clothes where I made a soft bed for her. I put her down and she went straight back there. I would keep checking on her and give her the pain pill every 6 hours day and middle of night. She didn’t cry but, she didn’t say a word. I had her water in there and soft food mixed with water so, it was thin and watery. Finally, after a week and half she was standing by me looking up in the kitchen. It was finally over. She appeared on her own and poor thing had blood dried going down each corner of her mouth down to the chin. There’s no getting dried blood that is now stuck in her bunny silk fur. I would do a warm washcloth that I just gently held in the front until she was well enough to get groomed. Scooter went through terrible pain but, sure enough her quality of life after that went straight back up to 100. How did she eat her kibble and wet? Well, cats don’t chew food anyway. You might hear a little crackle of kibble on a canine but, cats mainly swallow their food. She lived the next 16 years without a worry with her mouth. The vet was right. The surgery was extremely expensive but, I didn’t flinch. My vet said she has a lot of other issues and you will be spending a lot of money through her life. I said I don’t care...I would go down to one stick of furniture and me not eat to commit she had the best, if that was the case. My vet said it’s a good think you are her mommy because most people would not spend what after 17 years became more then 20,000 throughout. Maybe more [emoji848] I’ll have to ask them to give me an end total staring from she was a baby. My vet said, if scooter’s owner wasn’t you, most people would put her down then knowing it’s going to be thousands and thousands for life. I even had to go on a payment plan for a while. But, I never once thought about the money or walking to my car looking at my usual bill of “1,000.00” each time. Nope didn’t care. She was my top priority and everything else came after....everything. Circling back to Daisy, I slept on the floor next to scooter many many times. Like you did with Daisy. I was pretty ok with scooter being at home while I was working during the day. But, I still ran home after just excited to see her. And, now she’s gone. I’m like Dko, I don’t want to fix my mistakes on another cat. I want it to be scooter I correct my mistakes on. [emoji20] God I hope she forgives me. I never will. I’ll live with it but, never forgive myself. If only.


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I never knew that, I wanted to have someone take out Kitty's two upper front tteeth butt no one would touch her because of her age.

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She was 22-23 when I wanted the teeth removed, but then the gums healed on her own, she had that ability to heal herself, very rare, but in the end, nothing could save her, she was 25.

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The holidays are not going to be easy this year. After my sister and mother moved to town I did not take Daisy with me to her house. Daisy did not like my sisters 5 Shih Tzu's very much, they were a little to wild for her. I would always be in a hurry to come back home after eating. I know I did a lot of Daisy and I should not feel guilty about the things I did not do. I just miss her so much. Thursday night I saw her come in the room I were I was watching TV, it was out of the corner of my eye. I could very much feel her presence and felt like if I turned to look she would be laying on the arm rest of the couch next to me.  

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Collettesweetbear

Yeah, no KayC they won’t extract the teeth at that age as the risk of the kitty dying under anesthesia is too high at that age.


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Collettesweetbear

That happens to me. Sometimes out of the corner of my eye I see the white handkerchief fly by fast like the wind. I look and nobody’s there. Scooter I miss you. I had a hard time last night. I can’t stand it. Not being with my baby scooter. [emoji24]


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Collettesweetbear

You guys I was walking to my car because someone probably the kids flipped the fire alarm outside and we all have to go to our cars. The alarm is ear piercing loud. I walked out to my car without scooter for the first time. I sat in my car for 2 hours while they check it out. Scooter use to want me to hold her so she could stand on my legs and look out the window (window shut of course) at all the action. She loved it! Watching people, eyes real big and perky and wagging her tail. [emoji24] I sat there alone and I lost it. I was wailing in my arms head down. I was wailing “Scooter, scooter I won’t every see you again.” I think that is the worst devastating pain I have is I won’t ever see my baby scooter again. 🥺[emoji17]
Does this happen to you guys?


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18 hours ago, Collettesweetbear said:

Yeah, no KayC they won’t extract the teeth at that age as the risk of the kitty dying under anesthesia is too high at that age.


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But that's what I'm saying, she was exceptional, I definitely feel she'd had lived through it at that time.  Her health was amazing!  She never went to a vet until the end.  But I'm glad her gums turned around, they usually do not when at that point.  It usually sickens and kills them, a horrid way to die.

12 hours ago, Collettesweetbear said:

Does this happen to you guys?

Oh yes.  I have wailed the most gut wrenching cries to Arlie!  And to my husband, it's been years now and while you eventually numb to it, I'm still not there with Arlie, I'd give anything to have him back, my sweet beautiful boy.  I wonder if he can ever know how much I love him!
 

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Collettesweetbear

Oh, ok if she was 22-23 but, fit as a fiddle and pretty good strong heart then yes, she should have done pretty well with the anesthesia. I was corrected by my vet brother. I asked him about her and her age. That was his answer. Scooter had to have anesthesia to be groomed as she was allergic to the regular sedation. But, when scooter was acting weird with her last grooming, it took days for her to shake off the anesthesia. She would shake and cry. The vet told me no more. She said she doesn’t want to lose Scooter to anesthesia because of grooming. If urgent surgery that’s another thing. Maybe scooter could have lived till she was 22 or 23. [emoji17] she was wailing a little at night. Like a howling vocal wail. So, after it was long I said, ok scooter that’s enough for now and she would stop. The vet said she had dementia coming on her. Classic sign of dementia is that howling wailing thing. Especially at evening time for dogs. Scooter time didn’t matter. Not sure why they do that?


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Collettesweetbear

Can she see me fall into the pillow at night and sob myself to sleep? Or, am I alone sobbing and she doesn’t hear me doesn’t see me? I guess I have to turn to faith that she can.


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I feel very blessed to have had Kitty as long as I did, although we always wish for longer.  But I felt gypped with Arlie.  I'd always hoped he'd live to 14, he didn't make it past 11 1/2, in spite of my care.  That's the hard part, the feeling we failed them.  :(  I know what I'd tell all of you, so why is it so hard for me to tell myself that?!

Yes, it's faith we have to proceed by.

 

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My sister asked me when I was going to paint the door in my kitchen. I am not going to paint it, Daisy made the scratches on the door when I would go to let her outside. She would put her front paws on the door and stretch. When I would reach for the door knob she would drag her paws down the door leaving marks in the paint. She also scratched some on the wall next to the door.. she did that when she knew an animal was outside and she was in a hurry to get out so she could bark. I should have known when she stopped doing that something was going on. I just thought it was old age.   

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Collettesweetbear

You know KayC,
You do. You can say just the right thing. The words we need to hear right then or your kind loving suggestions that help so much. I understand completely. When someone else is struggling or needs a kind word I can do that. I can feel that other person pain because I know that pain. But, I can’t seem to help myself with the words. I hear myself talking to others but, at the same time not soaking the words in my own ears. Why? I mean I’m kinda having a hard time writing because my eye is patched with plenty of medicine ointment. My family cannot understand if I can’t stop crying for scooter I’m going to lose my eye. KayC I remember you counseling me that very first day to go to the eye doctor. How long ago was that? My sis told me you have to force yourself to stop crying for scooter the salt in your tears of crying day after day is messing up your cornea. It got better when she sent me that big bottle of Refresh to wash out my eyes immediately after crying. Plus the drops and ointment and eye patched. It helped so much. But, the crying continues. Scooters face pops in my head and the pain and here comes the crying busting out. Yup, I am trying to hold it...I say out loud “Collette don’t cry, don’t cry you’re gonna lose your eye” and I mean loud so, it’s distracting and one out of every say 3 times I seem to be able to sort myself out. And, sometimes I get control over it, telling myself it’s ok. She’s ok and while probably much later I will see her again. DKO, it’s so touching Daisy made those scratches and you don’t want to paint over them. Scooters water bowl is still sitting by the sink. It’s washed but, not put away. It’s been sitting in the same spot for almost a year. What do I do? Leave it there for years to come? Throw it away? Put it in the cabinet? I just don’t know. I can’t make a decision. I go to pick it up and then no.


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14 hours ago, Collettesweetbear said:

What do I do? Leave it there for years to come?

It doesn't hurt a thing that her bowl is still there, if it brings you comfort leaving it there.  Arlie's coat is still hanging on the chair and sometimes I hold it or talk to it.  I don't personally care if anyone understands or not!  His collar and leash is still hanging by the door.  I can't imagine removing it, ever.  The cards people sent me when he died are still displayed on my dining room table, it's my home, I can do what I want.  I am still grieving.

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Agree with @KayC - I still have my cat's big white rat, it was basically his fav toy even though he'd play for about 10 seconds before needing a nap. It's been 3 years and it's with my new cat's toys. 

Leave the dish until whenever. You'll know when you can move it and to where. It'll come to you and you'll be okay. Until then, force nothing. But yes take care of your eyes, no doubt Scooter who loved you, wouldn't want you harmed.    

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I have toys that Daisy played with on shelves with her pictures next to my bed. They gave me her paw print and I put that in shadow box with a toy she tore up. It's hanging on the wall next to my bed. I was not going to use her leach but I have ended up using it with Teddy. It is the second one I bought for her. She broke the first one trying to run after something that was in the front yard. I also cry about her every day. All I have to do is look at one of her pictures and it makes me miss her so much. I carry her collar with me everywhere I go and hold that and talk to her, she wore it her whole life. At night I place it on her box is ashes, I did put it on the pillow next to me where she slept. I had stop doing that because I did not want Teddy to chew on it. No one understands how hard it was on me to lose her. I took care of her for 14 years, rushed her to the vet if I thought something was wrong. When I had to go to Lextington KY, for software go live at the hospital, when the week was over I got up at 2:30 in the morning and drove back so I could be here when the Kennel opened. She knew I was in the parking lot waiting on the owner to open the door. Daisy was in there crying and making a barking noise she did when I would get home everyday, she could not see me but she knew I was there. I should not question how much she loved me, it was always very clear.  

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Collettesweetbear

I understand how hard it was for you to lose Daisy. I know like you said no one understands. I feel the same exact way as you Dko. I cry and say no one can understand how I feel about losing Scooter. No one in my family no friends, nobody. But, I know you 3 understand. I hope they are all together waiting for us. Thank you guys for all your kind words. It really does help and means a lot. I’ve gotten to know all our little soulmates with our stories. It’s like you guys know Scooter too. Thank you so much....Scooter’s bowl stays even forever.


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Collettesweetbear

@AJWCat, did u receive my message about the insect spray?


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