9 years in and I'm still grieving...

[Penthos]

I lost my older sister to pneumonia, I was 14 going on 15 at the time and it was my first death experience. She died peacefully at home in my mother's arms. The entire experience is still a blur, 9 years in. I don't remember crying much at the time, I think I only cried once after the night of her wake, hours before her funeral. I cried myself to sleep that night. 

 

Nine years in and I still battle with occasional memories that leave me glassy eyed as if there is mist covering my eyes as I hold back the tears. It's the little things that bring back the memory of her. I can't say that time has healed all wounds, but I can say that I'm getting better at managing the feeling of emptiness. I miss her. I always will. 

[reader]

Dear Penthos,

I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your older sister. Thank you for taking the time to share your experience with us. 

What you said really resonates with me. I too find that time does not heal all wounds. But you're so right and we have to try and keep doing the best we can while remembering and missing our loved ones.

[Kimmy88]

Penthos

I lost my older sister in 2018 and I am still suffering. Reading your experience of 9 years, it seems the pain will never stop. Although the pain I felt the first few weeks vs now is much less, it is not at all gone. And never will be.

Your story has given me insight on what I can expect as the years come and go. So I should accept that this is my narrative, and instead of fight it, I should own it and allow her loss sit with me.