Members BBB Posted October 1, 2020 Members Report Share Posted October 1, 2020 Always try to tell people to stop with the platitudes. Stop telling me she is in a better place and **** like that. If you believe there is a heaven, then of course she is in a better place. My wife being in heaven right now, as I speak, is far happier than I could ever make her. Ok, get that, know that. What people don't understand (except for those on this forum who have been through it) is that I don't say to myself "Look what my wife is missing" but rather I say to myself "Look at what my wife is missing with me or look at what I'm missing with her". That little add on makes all the difference and so many people in my experiences thus far just don't get it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Yoli Posted October 1, 2020 Members Report Share Posted October 1, 2020 Right, it's the shared experiences that we have had taken from us. The experiences we only want with our One. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BBB Posted October 1, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted October 1, 2020 7 minutes ago, Yoli said: Right, it's the shared experiences that we have had taken from us. The experiences we only want with our One. Yes and we can never get those back. Even in heaven I can't go to Niagara with her again, or go on a cruise. Arguments not withstanding about how when we're in heaven we won't care about that stuff, the fact is that we got robbed out of those experiences, period. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted October 1, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted October 1, 2020 Can very much relate to the bumbling things people say and how much it ticked me off at the time. Gradually though I realized and try to remember not the things said but the intent behind them, that they were thinking of me, and were trying to say something they thought might help. Frankly I would have much preferred that over people who couldn't be bothered to make the effort and I didn't hear a damn thing from. FWIW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted October 2, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted October 2, 2020 This thread reminds me so much of this article, where they list cliches people say and responses we would say in return! Worth saving! http://www.griefspeaks.com/id9.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BBB Posted October 2, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted October 2, 2020 That's good Kay. I am posting this on my facebook. Maybe 'guidelines' can help them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted October 2, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted October 2, 2020 Here's another good article you can add to it. http://onlineministries.creighton.edu/CollaborativeMinistry/Grief/avoid-cliches.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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