My Sweet Boy died today. I don’t want to live anymore

[autumnblack]

My boy Jedidiah was euthanized this morning with a tumor. I am so sad, I have been crying for days as I knew this was coming. I don’t think I will ever move on, I love him so much. I need help as I am devastated. I feel such overwhelming sadness for him, Thank you.

[catawampus]

I am so very sorry for your loss. I know how overwhelming and devastating it can be. When I lost Biscuit I wanted to die. He was my best friend. I cried for weeks and all that helped was coming here and telling my story and seeking others who knew the same despair. I found online chat rooms that also helped immensely. I honestly don't know how else I would have made it through. I thought I would never get past the loss. For a time I didn't want to feel better since all that tied me to him was the sadness. I didn't want to forget how much he meant. I do hope you are able to find your way through this. It will probably be one of the most difficult things you will ever face. You are not alone in this although it may feel as though you are. But you'll find so much kindness and love and support here. It will not make the emptiness go away, but it can make it a little more bearable.

Take care and be well,
Biscuit's Dad

 

 

 

[AJWCat]

I am so sorry to hear about your sweet kitty. 

You don't have to move on. What you will do is survive through this and find some level of peace with it. You learn to live with it. 

It's been 3+ years for me and I was surprised by my cat's death (which was a horribly traumatic for us and him) and it was crushing for months. I was angry, sad, despondent really. I saw no joy in the world and like you cried for days and days. I've heard it said something like; our grief is the correlation for the depth of our love.

So I've only moved on to the extent that I don't grieve every day. I've come to terms. But there is a crack in my heart because it did break that day.  

[KayC]

I am so sorry for your loss.  I lost my soulmate in a dog, Arlie 13 months ago, I felt as you, did not see how I could live without him.  It's not an easy process, but I know from having lost my husband 15 years ago that we can survive almost anything, and losing Arlie felt much like that had.  The two hardest losses I've ever endured.  Then I lost my Kitty, 25, just a few months later.  Arlie had inoperable cancer and his liver shut down, I had him on liver supports and cooked for him, had him on maximum dose CBD oil, but ultimately lost him as that helps how he feels, doesn't tackle the cancer which was too late when I found out.

It helps to express how you feel and we animal lovers here, get it.  (((hugs)))  I want to add that it's not our grief that binds us to them, but our love, and that continues still.  Tell him how you feel, write him a letter, but express it.  

 

[autumnblack]

I am sorry for your losses. Thank you for understanding. I appreciate your kind words. Thank you again. 

[autumnblack]

15 hours ago, catawampus said:

I am so very sorry for your loss. I know how overwhelming and devastating it can be. When I lost Biscuit I wanted to die. He was my best friend. I cried for weeks and all that helped was coming here and telling my story and seeking others who knew the same despair. I found online chat rooms that also helped immensely. I honestly don't know how else I would have made it through. I thought I would never get past the loss. For a time I didn't want to feel better since all that tied me to him was the sadness. I didn't want to forget how much he meant. I do hope you are able to find your way through this. It will probably be one of the most difficult things you will ever face. You are not alone in this although it may feel as though you are. But you'll find so much kindness and love and support here. It will not make the emptiness go away, but it can make it a little more bearable.

Take care and be well,
Biscuit's Dad

 

 

 

You response here, “For a time I didn't want to feel better since all that tied me to him was the sadness. I didn't want to forget how much he meant.” Is just how I feel. The sadness connects me to him and I never want him to think that if I feel a little better that I am forgetting him. Never. Your words make a lot of sense to me and I will follow your advice to post on this site. Thank you.

 

 

[KayC]

15 hours ago, autumnblack said:

The sadness connects me to him and I never want him to think that if I feel a little better that I am forgetting him.

I just posted this in the other active thread, but it warrants posting here too.  It is not our grief that binds us to them, it is our love, and that continues still.  

[JulesBrax]

My baby passed 2 days ago and I’m devastated. We have been glued together for over 16 years, and everything I did, through every single minute of those years, was to ensure he had the best life. I’m struggling with the transition from being two, connected entities; to one entity. There is so much love, and my heart feels so full and big, but I’m struggling to cope. I never thought I would live through losing him, but now I don’t feel like I’ve lost him. So I don’t know what to do, or who I am. 

[KayC]

I lost my soulmate in a dog, Arlie, a year ago, it was one of the hardest things I've ever gone through, he had inoperable cancer & his liver shut down, I miss him more than I can express.  4 1/2 months later I lost Kitty, my 25 year old cat.  Nothing hits us harder than losing a close family member of our household such as our pets, and the fact that they're so loving and loyal makes our attachment all the greater.  

I hope you allow yourself the gift of patience & understanding and kindness as you go through this process.  
Creating a memorial can help channel some positivity into this situation.  Write a letter to him, buy a memorial stone or special urn, have a place in your house where you have his picture, collar, paw print, lock of fur, or other memorabilia.  I still have the sympathy cards up on my dining room table from over a year ago!  I didn't receive any for my cat.  People don't begin to realize how close is our relationship and how much it changes our everyday lives.