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Dad’s gone - can’t breathe


At a loss

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When does the pain start to ease?  
 

I lost my dad 9/13 - he was being treated for cancer and picked up COVID in the treatment room.  Two weeks later he was gone. I keep beating myself up.. listening to the voicemail he left the Wednesday before he passed. He sounded so much better. I was so convinced he’d pull through. I had called the ICU every day except that Thursday - Saturday because I was in the hospital with a second trimester miscarriage. 

I feel so guilty for grieving the loss of our daughter because I missed out on calling dad one last time.
 

My heart is broken - can’t get through a day without unraveling.

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Guilt with pain of loss is a very difficult thing. I'm new here and joined because I too lost my dad last May.  There are alot of areas of guilt for things I didn't do enough of for him, and I didn't think we would loose him so suddenly. He died of a heart attach.  I'm still struggling every day. I'm sorry for what you are feeling. It is overwhelming somtimes.

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I lost my dad on 7/24/2020 due to covid complications.  I lived with him and my Mother for the past 10 years and helped take care of them. When my Dad contracted covid, I didn't leave the house for 28 days.  My entire family caught covid.  I had to watch the strong man that was always there for me, die a slow painful horrible death.  I had to give him water thru an eyedropper, he didn't eat for atleast 10 days and he suffered the entire time.  I can't get that out of my mind.  He was everything to me; we were closer than any two people could be and I'm lost without him.  I know i was a good daughter and didn't think i'd ever have any regrests but how wrong I was.  I find myself wandering what if i had done this or not done that.  Thinking I wish I would have given him more of my time and feel so sad.  I hope he knew how much I loved him.  He was unconscious for the last 2 weeks of his life but during that time, I talked to him and told him alot.  I hope he heard me.  My Mom died 9 months before my Dad died; i wasn't even over her when he died.  I love my parents so much. I knew this day would come but guess I really didn't want to believe it would be so soon.  I miss them terribly.  I break out in tears everyday, all day long.  I feel like it should be getting better but seems like I'm getting more depressed and not doing any better.  I think about them all the time.  I'm dreading these holidays coming up.  Never had a christmas or thanksgiving without my parents. Feel so alone and so sad.

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Dear At a loss and Dena,

My deepest sympathies and condolences. It is such a terrible shock and I don't think any of us realizes what it means till it actually happens. The rawness of that moment is so hard to fathom. Please know you are not alone and I hope you will surround yourself with loving and kind friends and relatives during this difficult time. Always know we are with you both.

Sending my thoughts and prayers.

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Hey at a loss,
I can completely empathize with watching your Dad deteriorate but somehow still thinking he’ll be okay.
I did the same thing with my dad, hearing how strong his voice was over the phone....he’ll even when he was in hospice at the house I’d clutch onto him making eye contact with me as a good sign; despite the fact he was pleading with me to give him a ride to his childhood home and he clearly didn’t recognize me.

Feel free to shoot me a message if you wanna talk


Sent from my iPhone using Grieving.com

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