Moderators KayC Posted September 20, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted September 20, 2020 My BIL, Bert, went to the hospital right after I left Thursday morning and they've sent him to a hospice home, do not expect him to last five days. He told my sister Peggy that he made his peace with God so that gives her assurance. She's been crying all weekend, I''m taking her to the valley to see him tomorrow. I was supposed to sing and speak at church tomorrow but this takes precedence. It's hard, all of these memories keep flooding back...trying to stay in the here and now, this is about them right now... If I'm not on here much in the next few days, I hope you'll understand, will be here when I can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Yoli Posted September 20, 2020 Members Report Share Posted September 20, 2020 Take Care Kay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members foreverhis Posted September 20, 2020 Members Report Share Posted September 20, 2020 Our comfort and prayers are with you and your family. Be safe and please remember to take care of yourself as much as you can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gail 8588 Posted September 20, 2020 Members Report Share Posted September 20, 2020 Sending you love and strength to get through this difficult time. Prayers for your brother-in-law and sister too. Gail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted September 23, 2020 Author Moderators Report Share Posted September 23, 2020 I'm glad we had a good visit Sunday, by Monday he didn't look/feel well...this morning he passed away. We're going the 100 mile trek for the cremation this afternoon, I told her I'd pay for it. They advertise $693 but now they say up to $1100.00 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Yoli Posted September 23, 2020 Members Report Share Posted September 23, 2020 So sorry Kay, sending love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gail 8588 Posted September 23, 2020 Members Report Share Posted September 23, 2020 So sorry Kay. Sending you strength for the many challenges that lay ahead. ((Hugs)) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted September 24, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted September 24, 2020 Very sorry to hear this. I can't imagine how uniquely hard this is for you too, but HUGE props for toughing it out and being there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted September 24, 2020 Author Moderators Report Share Posted September 24, 2020 Yesterday was really tough, exhausting, but as hard as it was for me, I can't imagine how exhausting this is for her. I paid for his cremation, which was more than they advertised but could be worse, and we ate dinner before driving the hour home on the highway...with winds literally moving my car. When I got home, there were branches everywhere in my front yard and the road so I picked them up for over an hour. Today I had someone call and ask me to serve on a year long committee, I'm wondering "Are you kidding?! I need surgery both hands severely, I have my sister to take care of now, I'm training someone to take my position as Treasurer, and you want me to jump in to something else?!" Yeah, I need more on my plate right now. I want you all to know I appreciate you, it does help to have this place to come to...you all get it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gail 8588 Posted September 24, 2020 Members Report Share Posted September 24, 2020 Kay, I hope you said "No". It is hard to do sometimes, but you do seem to have a full plate for the next 12 months. ((Hugs)) Gail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted September 25, 2020 Author Moderators Report Share Posted September 25, 2020 I told her I could be on them when I can but much of the year I cannot, that I'll be training someone on my Treasurer duties for the next six months and having surgery whenever I can and recovering however long it takes afterwards and then have surgery on my other hand and recovery from that, that'll take out the next year! I'm barely surviving. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Yoli Posted September 26, 2020 Members Report Share Posted September 26, 2020 Oh Kay. Life has thrown you a Sh#t sandwich. You have obviously done so much for the people in this forum. There is no justice in this world. Please know just how much I have appreciated your posts in the short time that I have been here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted September 26, 2020 Author Moderators Report Share Posted September 26, 2020 Thank you, Yoli. My stress level is way up and my blood sugar is showing it...it's hard for me to take as I've worked so hard to get it down. I'm told it's temporary, I hope so. Still not going back on the medicines, I want my pancreas to kick in and do it's job and I need to wait out the stress. Did tell my sister I'm not up to being executor of her estate, that's what set off my blood sugar. My brain is getting too old and tired and I'm catching myself making mistakes I never did before in my six years as Treasurer, how would I do in something I know nothing about that is legal and intricate? I suggested my younger brother (he's 53 and he's done it before) but she doesn't want him. Sometimes we can't be picky. Then I got home yesterday and got a call...another funeral Monday of someone else I know. It doesn't quit this year, does it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Yoli Posted September 26, 2020 Members Report Share Posted September 26, 2020 You are extraordinary Kay. Keep taking care of yourself. There really is only so much you can take on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members foreverhis Posted September 27, 2020 Members Report Share Posted September 27, 2020 On 9/26/2020 at 7:05 AM, KayC said: My stress level is way up and my blood sugar is showing it...it's hard for me to take as I've worked so hard to get it down. I'm told it's temporary, I hope so. Kay, You have had more troubles than any one person should be expected to take. Lord knows you're strong, but He and I might have to have a little "chat" about the whole "more than you can handle" thing. Definitely it's the stress spiking your blood sugar and making it erratic. My mother developed type II within 2 weeks of my dad's sudden death (several strokes over 4 days). She had no idea and was under so much stress that she just assumed it was making her feel so bad. Then a friend who has type II smelled her breath, grabbed a couple of pee sticks, and forced my mom to go pee on them. Then she made her do a blood test strip. Sure enough, she was in crisis--and she was in the bay area 4 hours away from us. She got on the phone with our doctor down here, he sent her for testing up there and to visit a colleague of his. They got her stabilized right away and then put her on a small dose of metformin until she came home a week later. I went with her to our doctor and basically asked (in nicer words), "What the hell happened with my mom?" He told us that sudden extreme stress, combined with sudden extreme grief and not taking care of herself (plus not eating right) caused her body to malfunction. I'm not the least bit surprised that your stress in showing up in your blood sugar numbers. You've worked so hard that I'm sure you'll get it back under control. You definitely can't be expected to take on the responsibility of something so critical as being executor. It may come down to needing to find a professional who will make certain your sister doesn't have problems or delays. Once you've trained your replacement as Treasurer and have helped your sister through the beginnings of her grief, please set aside as much time as you need to take care of yourself. Get those surgeries scheduled too because pain also causes stress, messes with brain chemistry, and can set off other medical issues. ((HUGS)) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Missy1 Posted September 27, 2020 Members Report Share Posted September 27, 2020 Oh Kay I am so sorry, you are such a caring, kind person, shouldering so much. Your Sister is fortunate to have you in her life. As simple as it sounds life always ends in loss. One can only hope that they have a reason or the support and love like you to help them through. This may bring the back pain of your loss as it never disappears forever. I pray for your angel to give you strength and keep you and your Sister safe in these difficult times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members foreverhis Posted September 28, 2020 Members Report Share Posted September 28, 2020 4 hours ago, Missy1 said: This may bring the back pain of your loss as it never disappears forever. That's very insightful, Missy. And of course, you're absolutely right. Don't you wish we could all just be there to give Kay a big hug and take some of her burden off her shoulders? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted September 28, 2020 Author Moderators Report Share Posted September 28, 2020 15 hours ago, foreverhis said: Get those surgeries scheduled too Believe me, I wanted that months ago but they aren't doing their jobs "because of COVID." It seems too many are work shirking with that excuse, no excuse for orthopedic surgeons though! Half of them can't be in the sensitive group! And it's not like things aren't supposed to be sterile already and we wear masks! My BS has been up to 149 this week, the highest it's been in nine months but was 111 this morning, I'm trying my best to lower my stress, but... I'd called and left a message on a former friend's phone letting him know Bert had passed as they knew each other. He blew up my email with hateful messages! I am so done with this person (I'd cut him out of my life when Arlie was diagnosed with cancer because he was being toxic). Not once did he ever ask how it turned out with Arlie. Horrible! This has added to my stress. What's funny is this morning I opened up my Bible and it read "Put away from yourselves the evil person." Can't get much clearer than that! Then when I went into my other grief forum, someone wrote they'd had to cut out toxic people. Wow again. Sometimes we have to do what's best for ourselves, and I'd tried to be the bigger person and take the high road! 14 hours ago, Missy1 said: This may bring the back pain of your loss as it never disappears forever. Thank you, both of you. Yes, I do find when I'm going through these times, wishing George were here to just be with me while I go through it. He always had my best interests at heart, as I did his. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jttalways Posted September 28, 2020 Members Report Share Posted September 28, 2020 You inspire me Kay. You are so strong and so selfless. My prayers with you and your sister. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members foreverhis Posted September 28, 2020 Members Report Share Posted September 28, 2020 4 hours ago, KayC said: I'd called and left a message on a former friend's phone letting him know Bert had passed as they knew each other. He blew up my email with hateful messages! I know I'm far from perfect. I can have a bit of a temper and don't always respond perfectly (who does?). Still, I do not and have never understood people like this. It certainly sounds as if you are receiving signs about him! I'd say his behavior is unbelievable, but sadly it is not. I'm glad to hear your numbers are starting to come back to normal again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted September 29, 2020 Author Moderators Report Share Posted September 29, 2020 My numbers WERE improving until this morning...I got woke up by a skunk, went out to check on the noise and it ran straight for me, inside my fence, no holes in the fence so don't know where it got in but brave woman that I am (or foolhearty) I spread mothballs around the house and left the gate open for a while so it could leave. Blood sugar afterwards: 144. Not surprising! Survived attending a funeral (different person) yesterday, today I'm making the long trek into the city to take my sister to get the ashes and death certificates. She wants me to take her to her bank but she needs an appt. so will see if they'll make the appt in drive-thru (she doesn't have a computer) and will have to bring her back at a later date for it. I'm getting exhausted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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