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My Father passed unexpectedly and I’m emotionless about it


SilentCaracal

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My father was unexpectedly lost in a car accident and I feel emotionless about it. My entire family is a mess, yet here I am sitting on the couch feeling normal and fine. I wish I knew why. I am feeling normal emotions in all my other day to day activities but when it comes to this, I feel nothing. I want to be sad. I want to cry. I want to even be angry. But I’m not. I’ve been at peace with it since I got the call from my sister when it happened. I calmly flew down to see the family. I feel judged because I’m not sobbing or even frowning like everyone else.

 

I’m my mind, I’m trying to explain this by saying that I have no regrets with my relationship with my father. I have no unsettled business. I am certain in our love for each other.

 

I know people say “everyone grieves differently” but I just feel like something is wrong with me.

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Dear SilentCaracal,

My deepest sympathies and condolences.  Please don't be hard on yourself during this difficult time. There truly is no right way or wrong way to grieve. And there is no normal. Grief takes many roads. And it could be you are trying to be strong or your mind has compartmentalized it for now. And if you chose to cry later that's okay too. Be kind to yourself and don't just yourself so harshly.

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I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a similar reaction when my father died unexpectedly. For me, I don't think I really understood what had happened. I didn't cry, I didn't get angry. I thought something was wrong with me, or I was a bad person for not crying. Now looking back, 6 years later, I realize that I was in shock. Over time I slowly started to grasp that it was real, deep down. I still at times cycle through emotions.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Sometimes it might seem hard to feel emotion, and sometimes it might be the complete opposite. Don't feel guilty or judge yourself. Try not to compare how you are reacting to other people. Everything is always easier said than done however. Hang in there, you are stronger than you might think.

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