In Shock. Best Friend Died of Stroke in Under a Minute.

[myrrh]

Late last night, my best and truest friend (I don't have any RL human friends) was eating, vomited, suddenly crashed to the floor. I picked him up and tilted his head down so he wouldn't aspirate, his body was so limp, he passed out as I said his name, and his eyes fixed in death less than 30 seconds later. He was 20. He slept in my arms every night, with his back against my arm and his head on my shoulder.

I laid out his body in the living room and kept crying and petting his soft fur early this morning, and made sure the other two elderly cats (not very human centric) could see him and say goodbye, and today I buried him in the back garden. I keep trying to feel his little head tucked under my chin when I'd pick him up and hold him, and remember how soft his (constantly groomed) fur was, and the sight of his beautiful little face.

I'm gutted. I don't know how I can go on in the world without my only friend. My heart feels physically torn. I can't stop weeping. No human ever loved me like Rufus did. I don't know how to go on.

Please don't post the Rainbow Bridge video, it upsets me.

[catawampus]

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I know firsthand (as all of us here do) how utterly devastating it is to lose your best friend. There are no words that can possibly offer solace right now. But I do know how much this place helped me when I was at my lowest point and couldn't ever imagine getting past the anguish and insurmountable emptiness and pain. I never imagined I could ever cry so much and for so long. The tears just never seemed to end. 

Like me I'm sure you probably spent more time with Rufus than with all other humans combined. They become our world and our life and our meaning. And when they are suddenly gone, the hole they leave feels as though it can never be filled. Like you, I have other cats but I have never forged such a close bond as I had with the kitty I lost.

My heart is breaking for you and the loss of your beloved Rufus. It's clear how much you were devoted to each other. Please know that my thoughts are with you and that you will find help here. This forum literally saved my life. I stopped functioning except to come here. Getting into an online chat room sponsored by this forum and others helped immensely too. I doubt I would have made it through otherwise. So often I just wanted to lay down and die but I kept coming here reading other's stories and it helped me manage my own deep sadness.

Take care and be well. 

Biscuit's Dad

 

 

 

[I love my Basset Hound]

4 hours ago, myrrh said:

Late last night, my best and truest friend (I don't have any RL human friends) was eating, vomited, suddenly crashed to the floor. I picked him up and tilted his head down so he wouldn't aspirate, his body was so limp, he passed out as I said his name, and his eyes fixed in death less than 30 seconds later. He was 20. He slept in my arms every night, with his back against my arm and his head on my shoulder.

I laid out his body in the living room and kept crying and petting his soft fur early this morning, and made sure the other two elderly cats (not very human centric) could see him and say goodbye, and today I buried him in the back garden. I keep trying to feel his little head tucked under my chin when I'd pick him up and hold him, and remember how soft his (constantly groomed) fur was, and the sight of his beautiful little face.

I'm gutted. I don't know how I can go on in the world without my only friend. My heart feels physically torn. I can't stop weeping. No human ever loved me like Rufus did. I don't know how to go on.

Please don't post the Rainbow Bridge video, it upsets me.

I’m sorry for your lost. I know the bond is nothing close to any relationships with a human. Our bond with our fur babies is the highest feeling of being loved unconditionally and our priorities is set daily spending as much time as we can. I know there isn’t any words I can say to bring Rufus back or to heal the pain your going through but know how blessed you and Rufus are together as soul mates. I’m gonna be honest it’s not going to be easy. Ppl tell me to think of the happiest moments and yet it’s still hard and times I don’t mind dying just to see if I can see my fur baby again. It’s the most pain I’ve ever felt and I rather feel physical pain then this emotional pain that’s draining life out of me everyday. I’m so sorry for your lost. May Rufus Rest In Peace. Thank you so much for sharing. 

[KayC]

I am so sorry you lost your Rufus.  My Arlie passed a year ago from cancer (dog) and Kitty followed just 4 1/2 months later at 25, her kidneys and liver shut down, first sign of anything wrong on Christmas.  It's the hardest thing in the world, they are indeed our best friends.  I had someone in my diabetic group attack me for "loving animals more than humans."  Gee with people like that, why wouldn't I!  I deleted him.  (I'm a moderator there).  One of our rules is to be kind.

I am just so sorry for your pain.  
http://www.griefhealing.com/comfort-grieving-animal-lovers.htm