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Brother suddenly gone


Guest Sue M.

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My brother passed suddenly in his sleep six days ago. I'm feeling terrible guilt that I didn't visit him more. He was bipolar and I have my own mental health issues, and I was so depressed when I would visit. I felt so helpless to make him better. Now I realize that seeing him would have helped him so much. 

I missed a phone call from him the night before he died. It's not on  my caller ID, but his wife said he did call. He had no idea he was going to die - we still don't know the exact cause of death and won't until the autopsy. 

He was a strong person with an amazing spirit and one of the best pianists I've ever heard. 

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Nicole-my grief journey

I’m so sorry for your loss Sue. It’s devastating to lose a brother. Especially when it’s out of no where. I have lost two. The second was out of no where. I didn’t get the autopsy report right away because they were backed up. Just a heads up that no matter what they’re hard to read. For me it was extremely emotional. I was glad my best friend gave me the heads up that it might be and that helped to know because I have depression and anxiety disorder. I have guilt for not seeing my brother sooner. I too felt like I could have helped him. I did but I feel like I could have done more. I think that’s natural to feel. Painful but your mind is trying to process the loss. How wonderful that your brother was a pianist. My brother B also had an amazing spirit. He had the most beautiful brown eyes and could make me laugh so hard and make me so mad at him at other times. Sending my empathy to you. His spirit knows how much you love and care for him. He would not want you to feel guilt. I had to come to that thought about my brother too. It took time.

hugs,

nicole

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Nicole,

I am so sorry for your losses. It's been a week + and I am feeling better. The guilt is subsiding. A friend sent me a Ted Talk that was so helpful. I'll paste the link, hope it works. 
Wishing you peace and relief from your depression and anxiety. My heart goes out to you! Anyway, I hope the link works, I found this so helpful for managing strong feelings of loss and guilt. Peace to you.
 

 

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Nicole-my grief journey

Thank you Sue! Extremely thoughtful, kind and supportive of you to reply and also share the video. I love Ted Talks! I will definitely watch it. I’m glad your feeling some subsiding. Wishing you a peaceful day.

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