Members Priscilla23 Posted August 25, 2020 Members Report Share Posted August 25, 2020 Hi, I recently lost my mother(40) to covid19 about 6 weeks ago, I'm having trouble accepting her death as it was so sudden she only got ill for 2 days then later on the 2nd night we rushed her to the hospital where she died on arrival. The whole experience is just to traumatic as the help was very poor. I feel sadness and guilt as to not getting the chance to say goodbye and tell her that I love her. We were very close she was my bestfriend and I was hers we spent almost every day during lockdown together, it has always been the two of us for as long as I can remember. I'm not that close with any of my family members as they stay very far and we would usually spend holidays together, the thought of my future without her breaks my heart and I find myself crying almost everyday. She bought a house two years ago and had finally been in that happy place in her life together with me but now this house just feels empty. My family came for the funeral then left after 1 week, my aunt tried to reach out but she speaks a diffrent language so our communication is limited to small talks. Friends have been my biggest support system and yet there is something inside of me crying out for my mother and only her. Thinking of her now she was a very happy person, cheerful and full of life even more than I am it's like my source of happiness has been taken away and I can't help but think of all the moments we will no longer have. It's my final year in varsity and all she wanted was to see me graduate she was so excited even planning on throwing a party and now thinking of my studies gets me in a very sad state I try to push myself but I end up crying and thinking of her. Wonder if the void I'm feeling will get any better with time... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kirsty111 Posted August 28, 2020 Members Report Share Posted August 28, 2020 Oh sweet soul, I know your pain. Everything you do and think reminds you of her, you are made of her. I can tell you lit her life with your bright spirit,just as she lit your path. What a painful way to lose her, unjust and life splitting. How I know how you feel! She will be with you wherever you go, I feel this acutely. So proud of you, and your noble and true spirit. I am in your boat- it is too soon for us to make peace. Try to spend some time in nature, under the blue sky- I know this sounds simplistic but that pure and simple beauty restores us in some small unknowable way. With so much love, pm me anytime. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DragiTata Posted August 30, 2020 Members Report Share Posted August 30, 2020 I just lost my father 7 days ago. He was riding a bicycle from a grocery store when a pickup truck hit him. Just like that...gone...forever...I feel your grief, there are not words to explain the pain we are experiencing. Like your parent my father was my best friend, my inspiration in life, my source of strength, my guide, teacher....All of that just yanked away from us. I feel like it helps to talk about them, or just to talk to somebody. I have family and friends who are very supportive, I'm so grateful. Sounds like you do too. I used to run away from pain with other difficulties in life, loses...but not this time. I'm taking all the help I can get to make it through. A message or text from somebody who cares, seems to soothe the open wound. Even if just for a moment. One moment at a time, don't run away from the feelings, my dad said that when you get burned you go back into the fire. We can do this.... You had a special connection with her and that will never go away. She is with you and will watch over you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Leigh Posted September 7, 2020 Members Report Share Posted September 7, 2020 I'm so sorry for your loss. I can relate to you. I lost my mom 4 weeks ago. I too do no have any siblings and my mom was my best friend. It's really hard to go through this without siblings. People will be very attentive during the first week after losing someone and then people go back to their lives. I totally understand that. The best thing to do is to surround yourself with people who you enjoy being around even if they are not blood related. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Zee24 Posted September 13, 2020 Members Report Share Posted September 13, 2020 There are no shortcuts Priscilla, you will feel what you feel and will continue to feel it until you dont. That doesn’t sound very helpful but its the truth. I have found distractions to only delay the inevitable. And I agree with Leigh, spend time in nature. If you ever need to talk, I am here. I have found myself very grateful to all the people who have even said this, so many dont. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nuvar Posted September 23, 2020 Members Report Share Posted September 23, 2020 only child here also......... everything feels very unreal 2 yrs on. i dont think i will ever get out of this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Zee24 Posted September 26, 2020 Members Report Share Posted September 26, 2020 On 9/23/2020 at 11:30 PM, nuvar said: only child here also......... everything feels very unreal 2 yrs on. i dont think i will ever get out of this I hope it gets better nuvar or manageable for you. It feels very unreal for me too although I am in a state of shock. But I think of so many things that are no longer possible, even now while writing this, that my head feels like its about to explode. I can understand that it does feel unreal because I don’t understand how it can ever get real. This is such anguish that its indescribable. It’s very hard and just existing never mind surviving and not becoming a victim takes guts and courage. I feel like my whole personality has changed. If you ever need to talk, please reach out. You are not alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Priscilla23 Posted September 27, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted September 27, 2020 On 8/30/2020 at 10:14 PM, DragiTata said: I just lost my father 7 days ago. He was riding a bicycle from a grocery store when a pickup truck hit him. Just like that...gone...forever...I feel your grief, there are not words to explain the pain we are experiencing. Like your parent my father was my best friend, my inspiration in life, my source of strength, my guide, teacher....All of that just yanked away from us. I feel like it helps to talk about them, or just to talk to somebody. I have family and friends who are very supportive, I'm so grateful. Sounds like you do too. I used to run away from pain with other difficulties in life, loses...but not this time. I'm taking all the help I can get to make it through. A message or text from somebody who cares, seems to soothe the open wound. Even if just for a moment. One moment at a time, don't run away from the feelings, my dad said that when you get burned you go back into the fire. We can do this.... You had a special connection with her and that will never go away. She is with you and will watch over you. Thank you for all your kind words, talking about her truly does help and days are not the same some are good some bad but I take it one day at a time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Priscilla23 Posted September 27, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted September 27, 2020 On 9/7/2020 at 6:23 AM, Leigh said: I'm so sorry for your loss. I can relate to you. I lost my mom 4 weeks ago. I too do no have any siblings and my mom was my best friend. It's really hard to go through this without siblings. People will be very attentive during the first week after losing someone and then people go back to their lives. I totally understand that. The best thing to do is to surround yourself with people who you enjoy being around even if they are not blood related. I read somewhere that losing someone brings more people in your life, and there was this activity which said you write down people who you depended on before your loss and after and I realized that more friends and family were in my life after the loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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