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Only Child Grieving Beloved Father - Seeks Connection

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Hi to those reading, 

I lost my beloved Father 11 weeks ago, quite suddenly and am currently adjusting to this 'new normal' without him. I am an only child, my parents were married for 47 years and it has always been just us - we have always been incredibly close and they are both my best friends, not just my parents. While my Father struggled for years with ongoing health issues, we never thought we would lose him so soon (he turned 69 the month prior to his passing) and in such a sudden manner, as he has always been quite active - a real handyman, spending hours on projects in his shed and renovating my parents home. 

My Father became quite ill and 2 days after being admitted to hospital in relation to what we were initially told was to do with liver issues, we were told he had a few months at best, due to terminal cancer that had never been detected. Fast forward another 24 hours and my Mother and I were by his bedside saying goodbye to the most important man in both of our lives. Due to COVID-19 I was not permitted to visit him in those first few days, however was granted access when he became palliative, gaining 6 hours of time with him when he was still cognicant. 

I am now my Mothers sole support and caregiver as she struggles with her own mental and physical health issues, my Father and I always cared for her together. I am also married and have my own life/responsibilities etc so am adjusting to being my Mother's #1 while still trying to care for my own family, myself etc. As we were such a small, relatively isolated family, we don't have many supports outside of each other. 

I am interested in perhaps meeting another only child who has lost a parent, anyone who is grieving their Father or can relate to my story at all. Ultimately I would like to share emails with someone or chat on this website's chat room as a means of making a connection.

If anyone is interested or is also seeking someone to talk please let me know. 

Thank you for reading and to anyone else currently adjusting and living with grief, I hope you are doing okay. 

- G

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Hello GeorgiaS-Z,

I'm very sorry for your loss, you didn't deserve any of this. I can't imagine how you're feeling so I'm here to listen, any time you need to vent or just talk, know that my chat box is available.

I too have suffered a very recent loss. About 2 months ago I lost my dear father. I was quite surprised when I read your post because of how similar our stories are. My father was diagnosed very lately with stage 4 cancer. Therefore we were running out of time to help him. We decided to keep him at the hospital once he'd have a better attendence and he'd be under professional care. Unfortunately, he passed away one month and a half later.

As everything happened during COVID-19, me and my mother weren't allowed to visit him. In my country the government decided that there would be no visits at all. I couldn't see my father and it was very hurtful, I missed him a lot and felt his absence very strongly in my house. However my mother was allowed to see him once so the nurses could teach her the best ways to help him going to the bathroom, standing up etc. (he became very dependent due to his illness) but she only spent a couple hours with him.

Me and my mother are now a team, it is very hard to live without him, we miss him a lot. He wasn't a very active man, however he was very funny and positive. He always knew the best ways to cheer us up and we were always laughing around him. Grieving has been very hard on me as well, I've gotten a lot better but I still feel very sad every now and then. 

Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers,


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