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piruete17

Trying to find a purpose without Mom

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piruete17

Hi..

I lost my 71 year old mother in March 2020.  She was a breast cancer survivor.  Unfortunately it returned in the other breast a couple years ago.  Last year, after chemo treatments, the cancer metastasized to her liver.  She was on hormone treatments that lowered her immune system.  Mom ended up spending 2 1/2 weeks in the hospital fighting pneumonia and RSV.  My brother, Dad and I watched her take her last breath.  My mom was my world.  We were always together, as she helped me take care of my two daughters.  We spoke a million times a day.  In addition, my parents and I owned a preschool together (my parents had the school for 38 years).  My father and I decided to close the school (1. couldn't do it without mom 2. COVID ).  My mom was my best friend and I am now trying to find a purpose in life without her.  My brother has moved in with my dad (he's in his late 40, divorced with 3 kids).  I know neither one of them needs me like my mother did.  I am now out of a Full time job (I'm a part time dance teacher), I have a husband that doesn't really get it, and I have to fake happiness for my 11 and 14 year old daughters who greatly miss their grandmother. I am here for support and as a way to vent with people that DO get it.  I am beyond lonely without my beautiful mom!

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reader

Dear piruete17,

I'm so sorry for your loss. It is horribly hard to lose our beloved parents. They are our whole world and especially when we have the privilege to see them every day and have them so involved with grandchildren. The pain is unbearable. Please don't feel like you have to fake happiness. Everything you are thinking and feeling is normal and natural. I found the first year I was very raw. Please know are you not alone and many people feel as you do.

I found additional supports at this websites.

Grief in Common

Grief Healing Blog

Grief Recovery Method

What's Your Grief.

There are also support groups on Facebook and through Zoom meetings.

Thinking of you.

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Valerie Lockhart

Dear piruete17

I'm sorry for your loss. I can truly relate to your experience. My mother was 71 years old, when she died nearly three years ago. I too watched her take her last breath, and I cannot erase the image from my mind. I was also extremely close to my mother and stayed with her overnight while she was in the hospital. Some have said that ‘time is a great healer,’ and that its passage will bring life back to a more normal routine. But time, by itself, heals nothing at all. It is what you do with your time that either harms or heals. I've found helping others to be comforting and a source of relief. We may give others who are grieving a hearing ear, showing that we care about them. A telephone call, a visit or an invitation to a meal can be encouraging. There may be opportunities to arrange for times to discuss comforting thoughts from the Scriptures. It may be that we can give of our time in helping them with essential affairs of life while they are caring for official or financial formalities. And, praying with and for others is comforting. 

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