My dad died last week, I didn't find out until a week later

[kray]

My father's wife invited my sister to visit my dad on his deathbed last week. She got to hold his hand, and go the viewing and Mass. She was "allowed" to tell my brother and I Wednesday. 

He has refused to talk to me in 2 years. I text, I sent pictures and movies of my grandkids. I begged Maggie (his wife) to contact me, to ask dad to call.

I am an orphan now I guess. And so very sad, again. It seems so much grief in my life.

I'm a long time single parent and my family, well they are critical of who I am, what I do, how I raised the kids, etc.

When I have asked for help I get shamed for asking.

I don't date because I'm so afraid of losing them, and still grieving for her loss. I feel so very alone. So few people seem to "approve" of who I am. So few people , who are not my kids, accept me without wanting me to change.

 

I have spent much of my life hiding who I am from my family because they are so critical of what they do know.

I still grieve over my mother and her death nearly destroyed me. What will it be like with my father's death?

[reader]

Dear Kray,

I'm so sorry for your pain and sorrow. I hope you'll reach out and talk to a a counselor or pastor. I know its really hard right now with Covid and all this self isolation. But there are still avenues available for support. There are people who will understand and be able to listen without judgement. I know one poster hear started a Zoom meeting. I also found these websites will offer additional supports.

What's Your Grief

Grief in Common

Grief Healing Blog.

Please know you are not alone. Thinking of you and sending my thoughts and prayers