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Missy1

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Today was a horrible day, it is his Birthday. I was fragile and cried a lot. What made it worse..I got a lay-off notification. Deep cuts to the workforce. 16 years with this company. Jobs that pay enough  are scare where I live. I am devastated, I could lose everything else, in my life.
Life is kicking me hard, I was already down, and now this! I could handle if I had him to hold me, tell me we would get this together and give support and hope.

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Oh Missy, I am so sorry!  I lost my job three times after George's death, during the recession, and for the first time in my life I faced age discrimination (I was in my 50s), the last time it happened was my 61st birthday and I gave up and retired early, I was already having a hard time driving in the dark and commuting 100 miles/day.  I want to tell you I never missed a meal, didn't lose my home, although I was afraid I would.  The first time I only got unemployment six months and had only two weeks left when I got a job.  It wasn't a job I liked (I had to work for a doofus) but it was a job.  It took me 13 1/2 months to get my final three months paychecks from him as he'd gotten behind but somehow I made it.  In spite of finding out I needed a new roof that first week.  Things work out, trust it and do your best...I will be praying for you.  Lean on us.  Vent, cry out, whatever you're feeling, we're here.

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I will lose everything if I can’t find a job that pays close. Brought on crippling anxiety attacks. If the world crushed me, Wish I had my Sweetie to pick me up. Being alone during a crisis like this is unbearable. I was so fortunate, we took turns carrying each other when a crisis hit. I feel so alone and so doomed.  I  pray I can land on my feet, I can’t loose my house...

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Missy I am sorry that you are having additional trouble.  Being laid off sucks but on top of everything you have been through already I am sure it is devastating.  I will keep you in my thoughts.  

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Missy, I do know how you're feeling, I had the same fears.  Make a plan for looking for work...file unemployment asap, register with different places for job searching, network.  Put it out there.  Work on your resume.  I even went to a professional to go over my resume presentation.  Don't forget temp agencies as they can work into a permanent job.  My DIL's mom got hers that way and she's in her 60s.

To protect myself from rejection, I worked three days a week at looking for work, Monday, Wednesday, Friday...it made it easier to have a good frame of mind with the breaks.  I put in probably 13 hours/day on those days.  Put yourself on a strict budget.  Unemployment is usually 66% of what you made going back 5 quarters and ahead 4 but in these times they're offering more for a limited time.  

Our mental handling of it is the biggest challenge.  ESPECIALLY when we're on our own and no one else to count on or fall back on.  We miss our spouse' moral support!  Come here, vent, at least we can listen and care and be your cheering squad.  You have this!  You've already shown yourself to be a survivor, you'll survive this too.  (((hugs)))

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Thank you, this made me feel somewhat hopeful. I should get some severance pay. I get the detailed package Monday. I have 60 days and I am trying to find a different job within the company, but it’s not likely. I will fight to keep our little piece of the world, I feel it’s all I have that left of our life. I hope I  succeed. It’s going to be challenging to muster up the strength to interview the way I feel. I was hoping to heal before something else hit me. 

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The rain keeps falling, i a feel flooded. Today my bank account was hit with over 1k fraud. Some bogus Venmo account! I am living on a razor’s edge, this impacts me hard. I filed the claim, closed that account got to wait for the $ they will need to investigate (credit union), but my point is, why is this all happening.

One pile of crap after another. Maybe these events like loss of job, fraud are normal but I am just not up to these challenges. I feel beaten down, waiting for the next bad thing. I am running out of gas...

I hope light shines soon. Not recognizing 4th of July, my Birthday is the 9th I am NOT celebrating, I told family to leave me alone.. I guess I am in a fragile place. I pray, I went to church for the first times since he died today. It was my Niece’s Confirmation. She is our God Daughter to. Was emotionally difficult to go there without him.

 

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Nancy Drake

My heart aches for you...And I’m sending you Huge Hugs!  Don’t let these setbacks define you...One day at a time, sometimes one breath at a time...((((HUGS)))

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Thank you, I needed to talk about it. When you are alone there is no one to talk to about those challenges. I do tell my husband but he can’t reply. Needed to vent...

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4 hours ago, Missy1 said:

The rain keeps falling, i a feel flooded. Today my bank account was hit with over 1k fraud. Some bogus Venmo account! I am living on a razor’s edge, this impacts me hard. I filed the claim, closed that account got to wait for the $ they will need to investigate (credit union), but my point is, why is this all happening.

One pile of crap after another. Maybe these events like loss of job, fraud are normal but I am just not up to these challenges. I feel beaten down, waiting for the next bad thing. I am running out of gas...

I hope light shines soon. Not recognizing 4th of July, my Birthday is the 9th I am NOT celebrating, I told family to leave me alone.. I guess I am in a fragile place. I pray, I went to church for the first times since he died today. It was my Niece’s Confirmation. She is our God Daughter to. Was emotionally difficult to go there without him.

 

It always seems to be one problem after another doesn’t it?   Seriously the day after my husband passed away the flipping hot water heater died.  The shower door started leaking.  The toilet in the master bath quit flushing correctly.  It isn’t like these were all huge things but on top of losing my husband......it all felt so overwhelming.  I hope that the bank replaces your money quickly.  I also hope that your work manages to find you another position. 

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Missy, I am so sorry!  I have heard that the banks don't take long getting the money back to you as it's insured, they should be able to give you definitive answers.  @jwahlquist  Right after my husband died, my kitchen sink plugged tight...in 43 years here, that is the only time it's done that, couldn't even snake it out, eventually it did come, the first guy I asked for help (and it's hard for me to ask) said no.  The second guy said, "Well he won't tell ME NO!!!"  Next thing I knew they were both at my house and worked on it until they got it done.  My hot water tank died once since too, my son put in a new one, called it my Mother's Day present.  It meant more to me than any roses or gift he could have bought!

Missy, I've had to turn to God for help more times than I could count, like I said, it's hard for me to ask anyone for help but sometimes He's the only one there so I tell Him about it, and somehow I've made it through all these years.  Will keep you in prayer too.  (((hugs)))

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