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My Ex lost his mom and he reached out

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Hello Everyone, 

My ex and I had a very difficult relationship. We didn’t have any fundamental issues and it seemed like we loved each other very much but somehow we couldn’t stop fighting. He constantly told me he didn’t want me and we would go through periods of not interacting. Finally, in April I decided to let it go for good. A month later he reached out and told me he lost his mum. Turns out that she was sick while we were together and I did not know. My ex is very closed off with his emotions. We live fairly close to each other and I went to see him the next day and he told me he loved me. He didn’t talk about his mum or what happened and I didn’t push. I just wanted to be there for him. I went to see him everyday that week and it gradually eased off over a couple of weeks to a few days a week. I still love him very much and by this time we were once again involved with each other. Talking all the time and being intimate. However, the fights happened. 3 over the past 5weeks and he would say he wished he never reached out to me. That he is done with me. That he’ll just go and date someone else so he stops being available to me. The last fight he said he wanted space from me and I was disappointed. I still want a relationship with him and I felt like that would hinder that. Ultimately, I decided that what’s best right now is what’s best for him and I decided to give him space. He hasn’t been reaching out much and the few times he does the conversation feels forced. I really want him to be ok but at the same time I feel a bit hurt and used. I want to be there for him but I can’t help being hurt and disappointed by the extended periods of silence and the fleeting moments of conversation. A part of me wants to terminate all communication with him so as to protect my mental health and well-being but another part of me doesn’t want to abandon him. I am so confused 

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