Having a hard time

[Muzikluvr91]

So it's been a little over 3 years since a good friend of mine died unexpectedly and i've been having this weird mental tug-of-war on and off with myself for a while: there's a part of me that's like 'you're being stupid, you shouldn't still be feeling this way after 3 years, get over yourself' and then there's the more logical part of me that's like 'well of course you're having a hard time, it's an incredibly horrible difficult situation to have to deal with, you lost someone important to you way too young' (he was only 25) and i kinda feel silly even talking about it after this long

i've been really struggling with guilt and regret about not spending more time with him. It wasn't that i didn't want to obviously, but it still kinda makes me feel like a bad friend. There's a part of me that knows that that's silly and illogical, but i just can't help it. This is the first time i've ever lost someone my own age and i have to admit, it really did a number on my mind

[reader]

Dear Muziklurvr91,

Please don't be hard on yourself. It is terribly hard to lose a friend when you are so young. Grief is hard to process no matter how old we are.  We all have this tug of war in our mind and it can go on for a long time. I too struggle with my loss and its almost 4 years. 

I don't know if you want to try talking to a counselor or trying an online support group. I found these websites also have good information and offer additional supports.

Grief in Common

Grief Healing Blog

What's Your Grief