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My dog my friend has gone. Crushed


Tazzie

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Hi first time here. 6 months ago I had to say goodbye to my dog Tiger. We adopted her 10 years ago. Loved her, she loved us. I was heartbroken. Am heartbroken. I’m astounded at how painful this has been. Sometimes the grief comes from nowhere. Like today and I couldn’t stop crying. I don’t think being stuck in the house most of the time is helping due to Covid 19. 
I just wanted somewhere to vent a little. I feel like my heart has been stomped on. I yearn to cuddle her, stroke those velvety ears and just be with her. So so sad T

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I understand.  I am so sorry for your loss.  I lost my beloved Arlie 8 months ago, I called him my soulmate in a dog because he was perfect for me (Husky/Golden Retriever).  My heart is still broken and I guess it always will be.  I still have his coat hanging on the chair, his collar and leash by the door.  I love and miss him more than anything in the world.  I had him 10 1/2 years, he was almost a year old when I got him.  

I'd love to see a picture of her if you're up to it.

Arlie's journey with cancer is in Living with Loss (pet section) and stories about him in Arlie's Memories (also pet section).  I found it healing to tell about memories with him, I don't want any part of my life with him to just be gone.  

I think COVID-19 makes everything harder...

 

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Hi Kayc,

Thank you for your reply. I’m sorry for your loss too. I’ve still got Tiger’s collar, lead, harness, blankets and favourite toy. Sometimes I just hold them. Her harness still has a faint aroma of her. I will read Arlie’s story soon. And yes I might post a picture if I can work out how to do it lol. Tiggy was a year old too, when we adopted her.  Did you ever think about getting another dog? Tx 

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So sorry for your loss of Tiger. It takes a while to process such deep grief. Totally get it. I feel like my heart literally broke. 

Btw, I adopted another cat after we lost ours a couple yrs ago. A loss that was totally devastating. It was not easy getting another cat yet I still wanted one. I shopped for supplies for the new cat while crying over the one we'd lost. Just part of the process I guess. Personally I can't enjoy life without a pet (cat in my case) so I waited a few months and then went to the local rescue. 

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5 hours ago, Tazzie said:

Did you ever think about getting another dog?

My son brought me a puppy before Christmas.  It was born on my birthday, conceived around the time Arlie died.  I still miss him, if I told people how much he was on my mind and how deep it cuts into my heart, they'd think I was over the edge...but I'm not, I'm grieving the loss of my companion that I loved more than anything in the world.  I will always think he had the most beautiful face and was the sweetest, smartest, most perfect dog there ever was!  

When you start a post it says "drag files here to attach or choose files, which you can click on to access from your PC or phone to upload.

AJW, this is the first time since I was a child I didn't have a cat...I lost Kitty 1/6.  I may get another one when the time is right.  I had a bad experience when I tried to adopt one from my neighbor and then he took it out and shot it.  (He'd given it to me but the cat loved him and made its way back to him)  Right now Kodie keeps me super busy!  I never dreamed I'd be dealing with a puppy at my age!

 

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Kayc, I was reading one of your replies in another post. Do you really believe Dogs and Cats go to heaven? That we will see them again? I hope we do. After Tiger passed my husband and I both heard the jingle of her collar. Grief or her spirit I don’t know x 

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What a sweet pic, I can tell Tiger was so happy and loved. Btw, I did that re-play loop so much I thought I was going insane. I can be obsessive that way. I had to stop myself and force myself to think about my cat at another time other than at the end. It is torture. Play a different film when you get into the loop. Force yourself to think of a totally different time - a funny time or something else that will interrupt your thoughts. 

(Omg @KayC what the heck is wrong with your neighbor?! Crazy, Ugh. You'll end up getting a kitty though, they are drawn to you!)

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Tazzie, what a sweetie (picture of your dog)!  Easy to see how/why you fell in love.

Yeah, thankfully the neighbor is three houses down.  We have a cat rescue right across the street from him, no need to ever shoot a cat!  I also adopted a dog that was vicious, I had to return him, got permanent damage in my finger from it (four bites), still paying on the doctor bill.  The rescue place lied about him!  They left him with me for 2 1/2 days, meanwhile I bonded with him but I won't live with an animal I can't trust.  I still wonder how he is.  They advertised him the next day after getting him back as "good with children."  WHAT?!  They took it down after animal control contacted them.  (Mandatory reporting.)  He ended up getting adopted, I hope it goes better than it did when I tried.  I've gotten flack for Kodie being from a breeder but he was from their first litter and both mom and dad lived there, people were doing it because they love Klee Kais and not many of them around.  I really feel like he was made for me, just like Arlie was.

17 hours ago, Tazzie said:

Do you really believe Dogs and Cats go to heaven? That we will see them again?

Yes, absolutely!  Personally I feel God is just smart enough to recognize that they're the best creations He ever did and He made heaven for us to go to so why not them?  It does say there'll be animals there, why would he have some random lion and lamb there and not dogs and cats?!

Read here: https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2015/06/pet-loss-do-pets-go-to-heaven.html

This might be a book of interest to you: https://www.amazon.com/Animals-Afterlife-Stories-Friends-Journey/dp/1401908896/ref=as_li_ss_tl?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=1401908896&pd_rd_r=6d7eaf15-f342-11e8-a62f-ebaf1168255c&pd_rd_w=aaryO&pd_rd_wg=6Qr0w&pf_rd_i=desktop-dp-sims&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_p=18bb0b78-4200-49b9-ac91-f141d61a1780&pf_rd_r=QBA3XASQSH1M6Y4QT2RA&pf_rd_s=desktop-dp-sims&pf_rd_t=40701&psc=1&refRID=QBA3XASQSH1M6Y4QT2RA&linkCode=sl1&tag=grieheal07-20&linkId=718c07d044fa420cc88ec1c742c87348&language=en_US

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Hi Kayc thanks for the links! That’s really sad about the dog you adopted but couldn’t keep. We had a similar experience though we never got the dog home apparently he bit the vet. I don’t think he was re homed after that. That was before Tiger. It gives me comfort to think that I’ll see Tiger again and to think that maybe my sister,  who loved dogs and had 3, is watching over her. AJW I’ll try to think of something else next time I get in that unhealthy loop. My hubby has been looking at pups but the rescue centres are closed at the moment. We are seriously thinking about getting another dog but not sure if to get a puppy from a breeder or adopt again. Also we are not sure if we need a little more time. Well more me than hubby.  I’m glad you both liked the pic of Tiger. I hope one day I can look through them and feel happy about the memories instead of the heartache and yearning I feel now. Xx

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It takes time but the pictures will eventually bring you a smile instead of pain.  I feel both the pain of missing Arlie and smiles at the memories.  I feel like this will never lessen in pain but you never know.  I miss him more than any animal I've ever had and I've had 24 dogs & cats in my lifetime. That's 23 losses, it never gets easy, Arlie was my hardest loss.  It feels like when I lost my husband only it doesn't affect my life with finances, social, chores, talking over my day like it did with him.  But that doesn't make the loss any lesser.  I was so close to him and he was my companion.

I wish you well as you begin keeping an eye out for someone else to love, I hope you find someone who fits into your household!

 

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Hi that’s a lot of pets! How many tears you must have cried . You have lost a husband too Bless you. I have found losing Tiger worse than some family members I’ve lost and I know that sounds awful. Maybe it’s because I made all the decisions for her for her whole life, she was like a child in some ways,  a family member and well  just a great dog, the best. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. I’ve downloaded a book about animals and the afterlife. It’s quite comforting and sad at the same time. 
 

Tazzie x

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2 hours ago, Tazzie said:

I have found losing Tiger worse than some family members I’ve lost and I know that sounds awful.

No, it's not awful to feel that way, when you think about it, they are part of our everyday lives, whereas much of our family we seldom see.  They love us unconditionally, are quick to forgive, so loving!  They give so much and require so little in return, is it any wonder we love them so much!
Here is a whole list of articles on pet grief:  https://www.griefhealingblog.com/p/pet-loss-articles.html 

I especially wanted you to read this one: https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2010/09/is-pet-loss-comparable-to-loss-of-loved.html

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(((hugs)))  I wish there were something I could say or do but I know from experience we have to live through it, and there's no way to escape the pain going through it.

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