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Lost my husband suddenly...


Dey

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18 hours ago, foreverhis said:

I guess maybe I was lucky that I was able to do my Social Security interview by phone

I did my filing by phone years later but I was there to furnish them a copy of George's death certificate which has to be done in person, by appointment.  They should train their people in sensitivity since they deal with this all of the time.

Peach, Maybe the dream is a visitation, IDK.  I am so sorry you weren't given a chance to see him before they closed the casket.  So unfair for the parents to make all the decisions, you, his wife, should have had the main say.

Monaron, I would not have a clue what to do if in a foreign country.  The only other language I ever took was Spanish and I never felt confident to use it but it did come in handy with one job as 1/3 of our workforce was Hispanic and most did not speak English.  I will be glad for you when the red tape is past.  Yes and I wish for you compassion, don't know where it is nowadays.

 

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17 hours ago, Missy1 said:

I don’t know I read that some times dreaming is just that other times we visited by them in another realm. I dreamt agin of him the other night. We were just hanging out and chatting and laughing together. It was so great I woke up feeling very close to him.

If only I can set what kind of dream, when I want it, then I would be happy. I don't care if it just a dream, so long as I can meet my husband again, I'm willing. Unfortunately I don't even have any power even to do that. I still miss my husband, and not able to see him again, even only in dreams.

13 hours ago, Monaron said:

So many papers all in German and I have to translate everything and some I still don't get. everyone wants something. How about some compassion. Yes that is what Im asking for some compassion without having to send you his death certificate or sign papers. 

《Hug》

I can't be much help about the papers, I know nothing about German Language. Yes, i feel dealing with "real life" stuff after my husband no longer here need sorme extra energy.  

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Today marks 40th days after Sam's death. I never thought I'd survive this far, 40 days went by, so fast yet so slow. I arranged small online ceremonial gathering, only family and close friends. Father in laws said, the mourning time is over now, I have to start living again, continue with "normal" life now. Maybe he meant well, or maybe that's the norm, but I'm not ready yet. I don't know when or if I will be ready. What 40 days, 100 days or any days after all? For me it's all the same. I'm still missing my husband the same every day. I know it's not the same for everyone. 

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40 days is insane to expect you to be over it or move on from it.  Shocking lack of comprehension of what grief entails.  ESPECIALLY for a spouse!

6 hours ago, Dey said:

I don't care if it just a dream, so long as I can meet my husband again

Me too, wish I could get dreams of him whenever I want.

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peach_2003

I wish that I could dream about my sweet husband every night to talk to him every night. I told him not to haunt me but I wish I hadn't done that I wish I told him to haunt me all he wanted so that he would be with me right beside me right now. 

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foreverhis
11 hours ago, KayC said:

I was there to furnish them a copy of George's death certificate which has to be done in person

Maybe it's changed over time or maybe it's different by state, but the funeral home transmitted my husband's death certificate information to Social Security electronically so it was already on file.  They did want an original from me, but had me send it with the signed form. 

Regardless, for me it was one of the defining moments in having the reality of losing him thrown in my face.  Even though the representative was extremely kind and considerate, he had to ask questions that stabbed me in the heart.  I broke down crying at a couple of points.  He was wise enough to not offer any platitudes, but instead quietly told me he was sorry I was going through this, to take my time, and if I needed to stop we could finish later, even giving me his direct extension so I wouldn't have to go through the phone process again.

I'm beginning to think I lucked out that he was so compassionate.

 

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jwahlquist
2 hours ago, foreverhis said:

Maybe it's changed over time or maybe it's different by state, but the funeral home transmitted my husband's death certificate information to Social Security electronically so it was already on file.  They did want an original from me, but had me send it with the signed form. 

Regardless, for me it was one of the defining moments in having the reality of losing him thrown in my face.  Even though the representative was extremely kind and considerate, he had to ask questions that stabbed me in the heart.  I broke down crying at a couple of points.  He was wise enough to not offer any platitudes, but instead quietly told me he was sorry I was going through this, to take my time, and if I needed to stop we could finish later, even giving me his direct extension so I wouldn't have to go through the phone process again.

I'm beginning to think I lucked out that he was so compassionate.

 

All of those questions sucked.   I believe funeral home notified social security in my husband’s case as well.  But I still took everything in to the office before all of the lockdown stuff happened so the lady that called me had almost everything she needed.   My daughter qualifies for survivor benefits.  For me she had them calculate it monthly rather than yearly as then I could claim for July & August the two months I don’t get paid by the school district.  I make too much money to be able to claim otherwise.  The lady I talked to was nice.  She gave me her direct line and told me to call if I ever needed help with our claims.  I absolutely hate that we need that money but we do.  My husband made twice what I did a month.   So living on 1/3 of the salary with an almost teenager would be tough without it.  I will be able to pay my house off but I still have to put away at least $400 a month for property taxes. 

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I didn't use a funeral home, George's funeral was held at our church.  But the soc. sec. office told me I had to come in, in person.  It was maybe a week after he died.  I honestly hope that lady isn't working there anymore.  Funny how people can make or break you.  I didn't get any money from them except I think $60 "for burial."  Wow is that outdated!  

The property taxes sure vary from one state to the next.  In our state we continue paying even if elderly.  In my friend's state (IL) she doesn't have to pay property taxes.

 

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Today like every day is so very hard. It's been 14 days and I can barely walk around. The only reason I get up is to feed my son and my dog. I don't want to eat but I force myself to try to keep my energy up. This heaviness in my heart is unimaginable. I've always considered myself strong and independent but this is something that has humbled me. There's so much to do and think about. The regret is overwhelming me. The fact that my dreams for the future with my husband are gone. I'm fortunate enough to be able to work from home, so I can deal with this in private with my family and close friends. God help me with through this.  

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I still after 3.5 months I cry multiple times daily, have anxiety attacks and fear, I can’t make it without him in my life. I feel the ache in my heart and in my gut. I agree, no future, I don’t want to go or do anything without him, it just makes me sad he is not here to share with me. Sick, sad is how I feel every day. I manage to get through each day, it’s very gray, without joy. 
We have no choice...trapped here

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peach_2003

I feel the same way missy I don't want to live without my husband and cry many times a day. its been extreamly hard and I don't think it will ever get better

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I think about how people’s life stories are written everyday as we live, our experiences shape us as we create memories and dream of a future, with our family. I think about how none us imagined this ending, we are cheated by death.
We never signed up for this dark ending, yet here we are, it surreal and unacceptable!!

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peach_2003

I keep thinking about how he used to watch star trek and the machines that they put people in too heal diseases and him telling me that we should have that now. How I wish that were so. How I wish they could just put you in a machine to correct the disease that is killing you or making you sick so that you can live a long life and not die and leave your loved ones all alone.

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1 hour ago, Missy1 said:

I still after 3.5 months I cry multiple times daily, have anxiety attacks and fear, I can’t make it without him in my life. I feel the ache in my heart and in my gut. I agree, no future, I don’t want to go or do anything without him, it just makes me sad he is not here to share with me. Sick, sad is how I feel every day. I manage to get through each day, it’s very gray, without joy. 
We have no choice...trapped here

Yes, i live day by day, moment by moment, but my life is bleak now.. it used to be vibrant, not anymore. 

1 hour ago, peach_2003 said:

I feel the same way missy I don't want to live without my husband and cry many times a day. its been extreamly hard and I don't think it will ever get better

Same, what better then? If it means I continue living, well yes I have too, I have no other choice anyway. But I'm still crying, still feels lost, still missing my husband.. 

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1 hour ago, Missy1 said:

I think about how none us imagined this ending, we are cheated by death.
We never signed up for this dark ending, yet here we are, it surreal and unacceptable!!

None of us imagine, want or sign for this, but we still get this ending. 

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I think about him every day. His jacket still hangs where he left it before he died. I walk up to it a smell him. For some reason it gives me a small amount of comfort. I also think how did I get here? How did we sharing this grief so intense get her? I don't remember signing up for this dark place called grief. every wehre I go in town I hold it together while Im there ,but when I get inside my car or house I break down. I am going without him. I still cant go tot he larger grocery store he liked. I just cant do it. I go tot eh smaller one that we frequented seldom. I feel over whelmed. so much paper work and thing to take care of and no-one to help. hes gone. hes the one I depended on. Such a dark place we share. Someone how I don't feel Im alone in the grief or feeling. each of us are in this place. How did we get here? 

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Sometimes I get a glimpse of understanding in that ultimately, for many of us this is where our faith comes in. I believe however, there are and will always be so many unanswered questions. No one in our world has all the answers we are haunted by these in our sleep and ponder them in the silence.  I to try to avoid places or things that put me back into that dark sad place, I get triggered by unavoidable things like a TV show or a song, a smell, certain foods, etc..

We are forced to float along, alone drifting and surviving till we get to go home to be with them once again. Remembering and holding on to all the good times and love we shared with them will have to keep us going till our time comes.

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foreverhis
12 hours ago, Monaron said:

I also think how did I get here? How did we sharing this grief so intense get her? I don't remember signing up for this dark place called grief.

I thought that way all the time at first.  I still think "I didn't sign up for this" often.

But what I've realized is that, in a way, I did sign up for this.  I understand now that in finding my soulmate and in giving him my whole heart, I had to also accept that one of us would die first.  That one of us would be left alone to carry on for however long is necessary.  In some ways, I'm glad (not the right word, but I can't think of a better one) that I'm the one here now.  Sometimes I ponder how it would have been if something had happened to me.  Would I want him to be going through what I am?  No, definitely not.

The thing that angers me and rips my heart apart even more is that it shouldn't have been now.  We should have had another decade or more together.  That is where my guilt and regret come in.  The "If only..." and the "Why did/didn't I/we/the doctors...?" haunt me to this day and very likely always will.

Yet, even knowing that I'd feel as I do now, that I'd be existing (hardly living is it?) as less than half of who I was, I would still have jumped in and given him my whole self.  If I had that magic do-over, I'd do better, be more loving, kinder, more patient, and just "more" of everything good and that made him and us happy.  There are cliches that are cliches because they are true.  One of them is that the deeper the love, the more painful the loss.  And the day I joined my life with his was the day I signed up for whatever was going to happen as we walked through life together, until one of us was left to walk alone.

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peach_2003

I keep asking myself why didn't they send him to another hospital if they didn't know what they were doing. Why didn't they drain the fluid instead of just letting him fade away. why did I allow his parents to make all of the decisions instead of insisting that they leave and just let me make the decision myself. I wasn't ready to let him go the nurses told me if I wasn't ready I should hang on a little longer but I didn't listen and now I am all alone and feel so guilty I still think if we let him hang on a little longer he would have made it. I wish I also got a second opinion that again was something that his parents wouldn't let me do. 

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Peaches know you did your best. You cannot keep beating yourself like we all do with what ifs. if I had seen he was not feeling up to snuff should I have said your going to the doctor. I asked him so many time's and he would say all is good. IF all was good why did I ask? I can keep asking myself, but it will not bring him back. Missy I have those moment of I see my faith. I ask God to forgive me when I fall short or grieve more . Every day I miss him and every day I know I will. I keep praying and keep asking for a way  and strength. I pray someday we all find a place of peace. God bless.

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peach_2003

The thing is he went to the doctor every 4 months because of his heart condition that he had yet it wasn't his heart that was the problem when he went into the hospital he had pancreatitis . He also had just saw the doctor and she said everything was fine which is why I cant understand why they couldn't fix him. 

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I to asked my husband too many times to count was he ok, you really need to see a doctor. You don't look well. He always said I'm fine, although I knew he wasn't. He was in denial. He really wasn't taking care of himself and he thought it was nagging and I told him I wanted him to be around for me and his son. Sometimes you can do and say everything you possibly can and it doesn't change a thing. My family tells me a did everything humanly possible to try to help him get better. I don't see it that way especially the last few months before he passed. I wish I could just hold him and say I love you and I'm going to fight for you even if you won't because I can see what you can't or chose not to see. That is my biggest regret.  I still don't know what ultimately caused his death yet.

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@foreverhis I felt that way too, I'm glad he's not having to go through this, but it shouldn't have happened at all for at LEAST another twenty years!  So very unfair, but then that's how death is, it's a robber.

@A Wilson  I talked to my husband about switching doctors too but he never did, and I considered him adult enough to make his own decisions, I wish I'd pushed harder.

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We made the best decisions we could, with love and respect for them. We will always replay those days or the day that our world forever changed. Now we must pick up the pieces and figure out how we go from here. 

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peach_2003

I am going back to work for a few shifts starting next week they have me on 2 5 hour shifts to start with I know that when I get home expecally after the first few shifts I am going to break down crying because I usually call when I get off work to tell him that I am on the way home and when I get home I usually tell him about my day and all that happened I don't think I am ever going to get used to not being able to do this anymore

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I went back to teaching on line and for a short period of time Im focused on my students and do ok, but the moment Im done I fall apart. He would be home and cooking dinner while I finished teaching and I could something good and think oh boy we get to have another great dinner in a few. Now there is nothing cooking and no sound of him banging around the kitchen and it is killing me. There is no more kissing him good night before I go to bed earlier and kissing him when he comes to bed. ITs all so empty now and useless, but I keep praying and keep hoping that someday there will be peace and only good memories. 

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Deep inside maybe I know that there's nothing more I could do that day, but still I can't help thinking about if only. The regrets are eating me. Now seeing people around me continue with their lives, planning what to do after the isolation, etc makes me thinking back and reminiscing the life I used to have, my life back then. 

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Yes, I think we all want our life back then and in hind site do it even better, but I think few get that chance. Some do and survive terrible things but we are not the ones who did. Hugs and know your not alone in the journey we call grief.

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I went back to work a high stress job two weeks after George died.  I asked my boss to check my work as perfection is required and my brain was foggy.  I would have to hit the bathroom to cry at times.  They were all very understanding.  Unfortunately my job ended within a year and I had to look for another job in the start of the recession and faced age discrimination for the first time in my life.  :(  I lost my job two more times before calling it good and taking early retirement.

The place I worked last had not a clue about grief or loss of spouse.  The worst job I ever worked...made it easy to retire.

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peach_2003

The District Manager of my store knows exactally what I am going through she lost her husband 3 years ago at the end of this month. He was sick for a few months and she was off work the entire time looking after him I helped run the business while she was away. she has been super supportive. The owner of the business doesn't know how it is to lose a spouse but he still understands and has been very nice about me taking time off. The few other supervisors that I work with don't know what to say but they have all been nice as the rest of my staff. I am going back next Thursday  I am looking forward to not being stuck in my apartment alone I kno he w it will be hard at first but I am hoping that it will get easier at least at work as for being alone in this apartment I don't know if it will ever get easier. I just miss my husband so very much

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I'm glad for you!  As hard as it was to think on the job, I found it preferable to coming home where everything was a reminder of his absence.

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peach_2003

same with me I think it would be preferable to be at work. thee isn't so many reminders of him there not like at home.

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I find distractions are good but when they are done, it’s like the dam breaks and the grief comes flooding in that was held at bay. It’s funny that way, I feel it’s inescapable, not surprising. When someone is that Connected to you of course you will constantly thinking about them as you did when they were alive. 

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38 minutes ago, Missy1 said:

I find distractions are good but when they are done, it’s like the dam breaks and the grief comes flooding in that was held at bay. It’s funny that way, I feel it’s inescapable, not surprising. When someone is that Connected to you of course you will constantly thinking about them as you did when they were alive. 

I feel the same Missy.. when I have distractions I can temporarily not focus on my grieving. But it's just temporary. When the tasks are done all comes back, the missing, the losing, the emptiness... 

 

 

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I just found out that I have to continue to work from home, which is extremely difficult because for me work has always been a healthy distraction from things period. So now I have to sit at home where my husband passed having that constant image in my mind. I have no other outlet because of this covid situation. I talk with my family on the phone but it's not like leaving the house to do something that can occupy my mind for longer periods of time. This is what makes grieving so much harder because of the constant thinking and reminders. I need to find something else to do. Going for walks isn't helping right now. 

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I work form home also. While Im working there is a time I ca n concentrate on something else, but as soon as Im finished the dam breaks and Im crying again. I find that those who are in contact with me seem to want me to be over this grieving after 8 weeks and get on with it. I have to ask , get on with what? My days and nights were filled with him. even if we both were doing something else in the house we were there together and that was my comfort and feeling safe. Now its me and I have to admit I have days I seem to wonder around looking for some source of comfort. The only thing I have found so far is his jacket still hanging where he left it last. IT still smells like him and for some odd reason I get comfort if only for moment burring my head in it. I look in the mirror and I cry again because all I see is a face of great sorrow looking back at me and I feel almost disconnected to her. 

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@Monaron your words echo my exact thoughts. I don’t know that person in the mirror either. I don’t feel loved or relevant anymore. I feel like the person who gave me life is gone thus I am gone. I am a leftover from a life that does not exist. Living is a chore, each day is a burden. I am still tumbling down into darkness, there is no cure or reason in my meaningless existence.

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7 hours ago, Monaron said:

I find that those who are in contact with me seem to want me to be over this grieving after 8 weeks and get on with it. I have to ask , get on with what? My days and nights were filled with him. even if we both were doing something else in the house we were there together and that was my comfort and feeling safe.

Oh Monaron.. this is exactly how I feel too. People around me expect me to get over soon an be normal as before. But how can I? It's still fresh for me, but I guess not for them. Maybe for those people, a month and so it the time limit for grieving. 

3 hours ago, Missy1 said:

I don’t know that person in the mirror either. I don’t feel loved or relevant anymore.

Me neither. I see my reflection is unknown, hollow person. Dead eyes, no life, no excitement, no hope. It feels like the day my husband died, he took away my life and happiness too with him... 

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Finally I can have small meet up with goodfriends, ofc we do all the procedures for covid19 with social distancing and all. I'm happy I finally meet them, miss them a lot, although I can't lie there's some uneasiness, the feeling that I no longer fit in. Our group (used to) consist of 3 couples (husband and wives), but now I'm a widow, it just feels strange. They treat me the same though, they lost their friend, my husband, too, so they are supportive, it just me feeling out of place. 

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foreverhis
30 minutes ago, Dey said:

Finally I can have small meet up with goodfriends, ofc we do all the procedures for covid19 with social distancing and all. I'm happy I finally meet them, miss them a lot,

Isn't it interesting how we're all trying to find whatever ways we can to be "together" while being safe too?

I was standing at the front gate yesterday sipping my coffee and moping.  Our friends across the street were out front so I waved over and said hi.  Then I heard this voice ask, "Are those your slippers or your husband's?"  (When I get the mail or just wander the yard, I wear his outdoor slippers on over my little indoor slipper socks; perfect fit and one more part of him I'm not willing to let go of just yet. But they do look like I'm a kid playing dress up.)  It was another friend who had walked up from a few blocks down.  She was sitting behind a couple of big succulents, so I hadn't seen her there.  The two of them were having a socially-distanced cup of coffee and chat.  They said I should bring my coffee and come over.  So my friend got another deck chair, spaced them 8 ft apart, and we all sat talking and sipping coffee, together, yet safely distanced.

Another friend and I have been baking together one afternoon a week for nearly a year now.  At the end of the day, we would fix dinner together and his wife (also a dear friend) and their dog (my 12 lb sanity love, who visits 3 or 4 afternoons per week now) would join us.  It was one of the first regular activities I managed to do, so it was really important to me.  As a side note, these are the friends who lost their daughter at birth and so understand deep grief.  They have been amazing, knowing when to nudge a little, when to be quiet and simply listen, and when to back off. 

Anyway, when the shelter-at-home orders came down locally 9 weeks ago, we pondered what we could do.  All of us were very much onboard with following the rules for everyone's benefit.  We worked out a routine where we email or call to plot the week's baking.  Then we divide up the tasks and settle on a time to swap stuff.  I have a bread machine, which we use to make some of the doughs, but he does all the work kneading, shaping, and baking the loaves.  I usually make a sweet treat like a coffee cake or dessert bread, along with small things like biscuits or rolls.  I put a small clean table on the porch, then load it with bowls of the doughs and whatever else he's picking up.  He comes over and takes them home (across the street and down one house, so not difficult).  Then he comes back over with whatever he's dropping off for me, usually including the dog.  We text back and forth about how things are going and sometimes talk on the phone a bit.  Later on, we divide the baked items and do the reverse.  We almost always have enough to share, so I'll portion out slices of this and that or put a couple of biscuits in a container and walk them over to whoever is on the "extras for you" rotation that day. 

I've realized how lucky we all are to be so close.  My entire small circle of friends live within 5 minutes walk of each other.  What a blessing.

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Good! It will be great to get out. My couples friends did not work out to well for me, they were new friends to us, that might be why. Sounds like you were all very tight. Happy for you.

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@foreverhis That sounds amazing, I used to live in a country neighborhood like that, we moved to AZ Almost 2 years ago. We had not had a chance to make friends, this neighborhood is not friendly either. I miss my old house, my good neighbors. I feel like he abandoned me here, in this caustic place. You are truly blessed..

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2 hours ago, Missy1 said:

Good! It will be great to get out. My couples friends did not work out to well for me, they were new friends to us, that might be why. Sounds like you were all very tight. Happy for you.

In some way meeting friends is good distractions for some period of time. But still I can't help feeling out of place now, I'm no longer fit the dynamics, maybe it's just me feeling odd. I keep on remembering that it used to me and husband meeting them, now it's only me. Losing my husband requires big adjustment... 

2 hours ago, foreverhis said:

I've realized how lucky we all are to be so close.  My entire small circle of friends live within 5 minutes walk of each other.  What a blessing.

Lucky you.. although mine are quite ok, but we're not close. I'm not really a social person actually, but I'm glad I have good neighbors, at least we're respect each other. 

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foreverhis

I should probably clarify.  My small circle of basically life-long friends and most of my small family live 3 to 5 hours away.  Our daughter lives with our granddaughter in Seattle.  Our local friends are newer, which makes it easier for me in some ways.  While they miss him, they also don't have decades of history with us.  As I am able, they want to hear our stories.  This is helping me bring bits of light back into my life.

Most of us have been neighbors for years.  We were casual acquaintances until about 6 years ago when our across the street friends, then our only actual friends on the street, hosted a holiday block party.  Everyone came and had a great time  After that, we all started getting to know each other a little more and had get-togethers every few months.  When my husband was going through treatment and in and out of the hospital those last few months, everyone stepped up.  It was almost as if our crisis made everyone realize how precious life is and how fragile.  We're all in the same age group with similar backgrounds, so that helps too.   It was an unexpected grace in our lives and now they are a support system that my family and life-long friends have all said makes them feel a tiny bit better about being so far away.

It's especially important to them now because all of their spring visits had to be cancelled.  We hope to be able to reschedule some for later in the summer, but we'll have to see how it goes.  I am lucky in my friends both old and new.

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you are all very lucky in the sense of having good friends ,people in your life. I don't mean to sound melodramatic, but unfortunately this is not my case. ein Germany I live in a small town and socializing over coffee is not something done. I have met my neighbors and they all are very nice people, but they keep their distance and if you go out and see one you may get a hello. Our friends here in Germany are all hours away and cannot travel at this point so they cannot come to me. I do have one person, the oldest daughter of my husbands brother that did come and visits with her boyfriend and stayed for a while. IT was a wonderful thing to see them and to have an human being come near me. You see as humans I believe most of us need others and to go for weeks on end and be alone to have nothing but your self and what your going through to think about is unbearable. I pray that this virus lifts and that I have someone to visit with even if occasionally. God bless you all and I hope your support system keeps growing and gives you comfort. 

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After the president announced churches were essential and to reopen, we are waiting for the governor to address it, they may reopen in a week but wearing masks and keeping distance.  It's s suggestion but I'd prefer it as a requirement as I am still afraid of getting this and any loosening reins is bound to have some resurgence.  It only takes one for it to spread.  

But I am very much missing family and friends, including church.  Going to my granddaughter's 5th birthday party Tuesday/Wednesday, it's in one of the hotter spots in Oregon so won't stop anywhere but my son's.

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Even when things open up, life will never be the same, this virus left it’s mark on the world. To us who are grieving, for many of us, it made our lives more isolated and painful. We were locked away, many of having nothing but our own thoughts and only dead air to return our cries for help, finding no comfort.

I feel like my mental state is not heathy, I live in the past every day. I want to hold on to everything I can from my old life. He spent his life with me and made me whole. 
Here is Arizona, many restaurants, pubs and shops and open but I have no desire to go anywhere or do anything. I prefer to stay in my cage, locked away with my husband’s memories, the only place I feel safe.

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foreverhis
20 hours ago, Monaron said:

. I don't mean to sound melodramatic, but unfortunately this is not my case. ein Germany

You don't sound melodramatic at all.  Not even a tiny bit.  I can only imagine how hard it is for you right now and wish we could all be there to give you hugs and comfort.

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foreverhis
10 hours ago, KayC said:

After the president announced churches were essential and to reopen, we are waiting for the governor to address it,

I do not mean this to be political, it's a simple statement of fact.  The president does not have the authority to determine what's considered an essential service.  That's entirely up to the state and local governments.  The president's claim that he'd "override" the governors is simply bluster.  Some people seem to think that he could use emergency powers for that, but it's not true.  The emergency powers as written are very narrowly defined.  Even when the state and local governments give the go ahead, it will be up to places of worship to decide what's right for them and their congregations.

I imagine that it is difficult having services virtually, rather than in person, but I think it's also important to remember that "church" is not a place, but rather a way of experiencing faith.  That faith is anywhere and everywhere.

My concern is that places of worship have been hot spots.  Already there have been clusters and spikes directly attributed to places of worship reopening for in-person services.  Several have shut down and gone back to virtual services instead.  It's tough no matter how we look at it.  Church is so often a refuge from the troubles of the world, yet now the trouble can come right in the door with us.

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Any place where people gather like schools, bars etc are hot beds. Churches give people hope they are places that bring comfort and are important to every community. I hope they come back very soon.

i won’t get all religions here, but I believe in God and gathering in person to worship is powerful. 

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