Members gary t huntington Posted June 22, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted June 22, 2020 It was very hard Father’s Day My first one without my wife can’t imagine what my 50th birthday is going to be like and Christmas time? I don’t have many people to talk to since my wife died I haven’t been at work I’m a supervisor for the transit authority where we live course is unionized and the amount of stress that goes on their daily is overwhelming let alone the issues I’m having at home with my disabled daughter which usually took to Overstreet‘s am I wrong to request more time off because I’m so not ready to go back I’ve never been lazy I was always a go-getter Go to work take care of my family but I feel like that was me then it’s not who I am anymore I don’t know my wife is so proud of me when I got my job last year finally got recognition for Hardwork but I only did it to impress her I feel like if I go back because I’ve been away for so long so much is changed due to Covid my panic mode he’s gone into full force the slightest little thing I have noticed I freak out when it doesn’t go my way I’m asking some money for some roebucks . Without it costing me my job thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted June 22, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted June 22, 2020 No you are not wrong to request more time off. Make sure not to do anything to jeopardize your job, however, as I had to look for work after my husband died, it's harder in your fifties as it was a recession and I was in my early fifties and faced age discrimination for the first time in my life. That said, another thing to consider is your job just might be a distraction for part of the day. I went back to work two weeks after George died as I had no income, no money, and bills pouring in for his hospital, doctor, and ambulance. Everything felt overwhelming but doing one day at a time helped, and try not to look too far ahead to Christmas, etc. Today is enough to do. We'll be here for you as those days begin to approach. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Adria Posted June 24, 2020 Members Report Share Posted June 24, 2020 Gary, I completely understand where you are coming from. My husband passed very suddenly 8 months ago from a blood clot. Monday was the 8 month mark and I seemed to re-live that day over all day long. I seem to have days that all I want to do is talk about him, then other days, just the thought of him, and I’m in tears. I know in time things will get better. We just have to take it day be day. If you ever need to talk or vent, I am here. Sent from my iPhone using Grieving.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members gary t huntington Posted July 16, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted July 16, 2020 Good morning everyone hope everyone is all well she was like I’m having my good days and my bad days there’s definitely a lot more bad than good Especially gets worse at night as you go to bed my daughters doing with your mom says it’s not healthy it’s up to Office to race with daughter . I remember my wife saying I don’t know how you gonna do this on your own . I Gotta make sure she’s taken care of she likes it when I go in a room sure she’s all tucked in for the night like your mom used to do she’s 21 years old so I still do it . And that’s with the majority of the questions star about Mom and then someday she gives me a really hard time I have to put my foot down and say no . As it will only cause more harm and more stress on the family she doesn’t understand takes your frustrations out on all of us that’s why my hands go to the yard happens in the skies above. One year ago today I am my interview for my job I’m just looking back at the text and Waze sent me prior to me going she wasn’t sick at the time I can tell her happiness in her voice. Within five days just got the job.We are in cloud nine in finally done it . Literally in the world by the balls we had it made Career wanting to do what we wanted to do financially stable kids are growing beautiful home we were able to go out on date night without having to drag the kids along She went down to the US training while I was on vacation up here m. First weekend in August I’m in Joyner with herFirst weekend in August I’m in Joined with the dogs. And a fantastic time got to see how couples can do it on the end of August cancer had returned in the world was turned upside down. But we got to know what true happiness was for 40 days like nothing can touch us cancer wasn’t back she was clear, Xoxoxo Babe ladies and (gentlemen 5%) Please do your daily checks On your breast and check for lumps iCan you find something and go to the doctor . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Adria Posted July 16, 2020 Members Report Share Posted July 16, 2020 Gary, you are such a strong man! I have told you this already, but thought you needed to hear it again. You are a wonderful dad and your beautiful wife would be so proud of you! Nothing has changed, I am still here for you, you just have to let me in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members gary t huntington Posted July 19, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted July 19, 2020 Ty Adria This past month I don,t know where it would have been if was for you... actually i think i might.... you been a true blessing wishing i was closer to you ..covid, borders, governments. hugs to you and everyone such a hard way to live life as a widower/widow we all did not deserve this. why regrets loss, i beat myself up everyday, missing the one person that to me was - , the beat of my heart xxoxoxo sunrise&sunsets Ceressa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Adria Posted July 20, 2020 Members Report Share Posted July 20, 2020 Gary, I will always be here for you, no matter what. Remember what I told you tonight... you have to let that grief out, to be able to start healing. Sent from my iPhone using Grieving.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Missy1 Posted July 20, 2020 Members Report Share Posted July 20, 2020 You are healing and need to block out anything that does feel right for your family. Be true to your beautiful wife and family. God bless, wish you peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members gary t huntington Posted August 12, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted August 12, 2020 leaving for the mountains on a trip by myself i know you be there God I miss you so much, your voice,touch ,smell, and taste of your lips.. I cant, wait till we are together again in the heavens above oneday...... come along for the drive Babe kisses to the forehead Ceressa, love you so friggin much with a Full Heart ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rhonda R Posted August 13, 2020 Members Report Share Posted August 13, 2020 She will be there! I hope your heart gets what it needs from this trip! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jttalways Posted August 13, 2020 Members Report Share Posted August 13, 2020 I’m glad you are taking a trip. I’ve been hiking and bike riding a lot. It’s something we did all the time before my husband got sick. I go alone now on my “quests for god.” It brings me peace being in nature and makes me feel closer to my husband. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members foreverhis Posted August 13, 2020 Members Report Share Posted August 13, 2020 Gary, Your Ceressa is beautiful. The love you share simply radiates from this picture. What a precious gift you have in each other. IMO, you're brave to go to the mountains alone. Of course she will be there with you. It might be in the rustling leaves or the flight of a graceful bird or in the very air you breathe. How could it be otherwise? She is with you always. Some day, when it is your time, you will be reunited forever. I believe this. I have faith that the thread of love we have with our soulmates is unbroken, that it is stronger than this temporary separation. My love and I are no longer part of any specific religion, but we kept a universal faith and believe there are many things we cannot understand and that there is something mysterious and greater than this earthly life. It helps sustain me now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted August 13, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted August 13, 2020 Yes, I love this picture of the two of you, you can see the love between you, feel it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members gary t huntington Posted September 22, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted September 22, 2020 On a raining windy category 1 hurricane day I really thinking and missing you my love , so looking forward to heaven and my lips on your forehead , your head on my shoulder forever. God I miss you... hope you miss me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Shailja Posted September 22, 2020 Members Report Share Posted September 22, 2020 The void within consumes ... lost my husband .... 4 months now.... miss him terribly.... I guess all of us are sailing in the same boat.... there are days when Ibfeel he is somewhere around and will suddenly call out for me.... and then ... long to see him..... does the pain ever go away? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted September 22, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted September 22, 2020 The pain as you know it will lessen eventually. It does help to actively learn and put in the effort of your grief work. Our attitudes factor in as well. https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2014/08/grief-understanding-process.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Adria Posted September 23, 2020 Members Report Share Posted September 23, 2020 The void within consumes ... lost my husband .... 4 months now.... miss him terribly.... I guess all of us are sailing in the same boat.... there are days when Ibfeel he is somewhere around and will suddenly call out for me.... and then ... long to see him..... does the pain ever go away?Shailja, today makes 11 months that my husband passed. I know everyone has their own journeys and paths taken, but for me, the pain has eased a little. Do I still miss and ache for him...absolutely! Do I still wake up looking for him....most definitely! Am I still angry that he left me to deal with life on my own...of course I am. But, I am finding now, that there are more good days than bad. What we all have to do is to find something that makes us happy and try to put your energy in to that. It’s not a cure all or anything, but it will get your mind focused on something else, even if it’s for a little while. Sent from my iPhone using Grieving.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members gary t huntington Posted September 23, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted September 23, 2020 loneliness , will always be there, i am coming to except that . as Ceressa was my one and Only. no one will replace the love ,friendship, honour, commitment we had. this late summer i did something for me i reverted back to my Youth,early adult life , I bought a sea-doo for the lake and ATV for me and the girls. we had some laughs this past mid august till now on sea - doo , Atv season is upon us , hope for some tours with my girls in Gods Creation.Making memories for my Kids as they had A really rough past couple of yrs this one being the worst ever.. painj does not go away memeories will not fad i catch my myself thinking of Ceressa and taking to her all the time its a way of me being connected still until its my time to join her , than i will be Forever Happy , Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted September 23, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted September 23, 2020 28 minutes ago, gary t huntington said: this late summer i did something for me i reverted back to my Youth,early adult life , I bought a sea-doo for the lake and ATV for me and the girls. we had some laughs this past mid august till now on sea - doo , Atv season is upon us Good for you! It's about giving ourselves value and knowing we are worth it and finding some reason to smile, albeit temporarily. Kind of impossible in the beginning but as we begin to process our grief at some point...I hope you and your girls have much enjoyment with your new "toys." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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