Members Dyna Posted April 6, 2020 Members Report Share Posted April 6, 2020 I had my cat for 14 years, had her when I was 16 and now I am 30. She was a huge part of my life. I lost her yesterday, she went 2-3 days of appearing different in her presentation, I guess as an owner you just know. However, due to the current situation with Covid 19 access to a vet was not straight forward. I was advised it sounded like she had a stomach bug and to take her in on Monday (which is today). She started off with eating less and stopped staying with me in my room, but instead stayed downstairs with my mum. She came to my room the night before she died, I picked her up and put her on my bed with me. I stayed up the entire night as I was so worried she would die. In the morning thankfully she was still alive (this was Sunday) I called the vet again as I wanted to bring her in as an emergency as now she appeared so weak and breathing rapidly, she was not responding to her name, I refused to accept she was dying, it wasn’t until she lifted her head for the last time and groaned as she looked at me, her head tilted back and this was followed by a fit and she passed away. I feel horrible, my last memory of her was her in pain, and as though she was crying and looking at me for help, and I could not help her. I’m crying all day and all night, I miss her and I cannot talk to anyone because they say “it’s just a cat” I feel like I’ve lost a child! And I do not know how to deal with this. I’m not eating or sleeping and I keep blaming myself for her passing. I am completely lost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted April 7, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted April 7, 2020 Dyna, I am so sorry...I've lost 23 dogs and cats in my lifetime as I am now a senior, and it's hard no matter how it happens or when. I lost my beloved Arlie (dog companion) in August and then in January my 25 year old cat, Kitty. Just like that my family was gone from me. It leaves us feeling helpless as we are unable to save them as we would want to. I can assure you that you are not to blame for her passing, nor would she blame you. But we FEEL that way. Try to remember though, feelings are not factual, they are just something we have to deal with and not based on rationale. I hope you will read these articles and that this video brings you some comfort. I look forward to being with my furry family again. http://media.wix.com/ugd/0dd4a5_e934e7f92d104d31bcb334d6c6d63974.pdf http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Dyna Posted April 8, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted April 8, 2020 23 dogs, oh my how do you deal with so much loss. I knew this day would come one day but it’s so so hard, I look at the edge of my bed and she is not there... I know it has only been 3 days but feels like forever not being able to talk to her or rub my nose against hers (which she loved) My tears for her are endless, I know I have to look after myself but even something as simple as eating is such a task, and I’m not sleeping very well. I’ve a job interview today so hopefully I don’t ruin it based on how I’m feeling. Thank you so much for sharing, as I cannot talk to anyone because they do not understand so it’s so comforting hearing from you and hopefully others. Thank you so much for the reading material, I will have a read soon as I finally get some sleep today. X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted April 8, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted April 8, 2020 That's 23 dogs and cats in 62 years time...I'm on my 24th right now. I do understand, I am mourning Arlie like none before, he was my world and so perfect for me, I don't see any end in sight, I know we have to keep going but oh gosh it's hard! Wishing you some peace and comfort. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members AJWCat Posted April 13, 2020 Members Report Share Posted April 13, 2020 Dyna, so so sorry for the loss of your cat. It's incredibly painful. She was a huge part of your life, not "just a cat" so don't feel ashamed for taking time to grieve and cry. And it will take time sorry to say. Just be patient. It's not about "getting over her" either. You just finally come to have some peace over her being gone. And you will adjust to loving all the great memories of her. They will make you smile rather than cry. But again, that takes time. I have read so many tragic stories here on this forum (mine included which I won't go into) but I can't help but at least be glad that your cat was with you (not at the vet without you for example) and in your arms. You did nothing wrong by the way. She was at that age when their bodies just give out or things go wrong no Dr. can fix. My last guy made it to 15, my two previous cats 13/14. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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