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Sympathy for others

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Posted (edited)

Hi everyone.  I guess I just need to vent to others who might understand this and not think me completely deranged.

I was listening to someone whine on and on about being "stuck" at home with her husband during the "shelter in place" isolation.  Fortunately, it was a broadcast and not someone speaking directly to me because...well, I might have been tempted to punch her.

I've been reading many articles and hearing little snippets of things like this mixed in with actual news, so my first thought of just stepping away isn't the best idea because I do need to keep up with the news.  But there are all these "How to stay sane when trapped with your family" and "What to do when your spouse is driving you crazy in isolation"  and "I'm depressed I can't visit my friends" and "I'm getting PTSD from this" etc. discussions.  What I want to do is swear loudly, "WTF?  You have no idea how lucky you are to be able to be 'trapped' anywhere with your spouse!  I'd give anything to be in that situation.  Shut up!" or "How the hell do you think it feels for someone like me, you selfish whiny jerk?"  And the thing is that I'm sure I'd be looking at my husband from time to time thinking, "You are bugging the heck out of me right now."  It's not as if I don't understand the dynamics of it.  I just wish I could be tired of being trapped with my love too, though once we both had long-term health conditions we actually did spend most of our time together.  I'm pretty sure neither of us felt trapped--irritated with each other from time to time, yes, but not trapped.

I have a really great group of local friends who have been amazing, even as we respect the isolation and social distancing rules.  I have a small family circle that is also very supportive.  Every one of them understands why I sometimes feel that if anyone has the "right" to break down right now, it's me.  Yet, I'm also trying not to be too much "poor me" either.  Talk about emotional whiplash!

Still I'm increasingly peeved at people whining over not being able to go out to dinner or attend a party.  I'm more often irked at people complaining about having to spend so much time with their spouses and family.  I am self-aware enough to know that part of it is envy that they have the luxury of complaining when I don't and that part of it is sheer grief over losing my soul mate when others still have theirs.

That's all.  I just needed to get my irritation out in a place where I am not likely to be judged for it.

Edited by foreverhis
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I feel the same way, I would give anything to be isolated with my love. If I would have been home that day he broke down he would have had me to talk to before he got all spun out of control. He was all alone and needed me, so ironic that all I have is time at home, that Is the universe flipping the bird at me. 
 I know deep inside I failed him, no matter what people say. I know the circumstances like no one else...I have to carry it and am paying for it, I wish I could go back in time! 

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Dear foreverhis and Missy,

I'm with you both. We should cherish our time with our family as much as possible. None of us have a crystal ball and just never know what tomorrow brings.


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On 3/27/2020 at 2:10 PM, foreverhis said:

What I want to do is swear loudly, "WTF?  You have no idea how lucky you are to be able to be 'trapped' anywhere with your spouse!  I'd give anything to be in that situation. 

Absolutely, and each time I see jokes and posts on Facebook about these things it takes all my self-control not to respond.   I would give anything and everything to have my husband here with me driving me crazy.

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