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OMG this is stressful...


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Kelly

How is everyone handling the stress of COVID-19? Italy is shut down for example. Schools around my area in the USA are talking about moving classes online. Nobody is in the airport. How are you all handling this world wide event as well as your grief?

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Nicole-my grief journey

It has definitely heightened my anxiety and makes my grief feel heavier. I actually always practice what they are saying in-terms of hygiene but you can’t control other people and so it is scary when people aren’t taking it seriously and still coughing and sneezing without covering and sanitizing. I feel like factually Covid-19 is here and so we all need to practice staying calm and keeping our heads on straight as it starts to get navigated. I think as soon as there is more testing we will see more cases and more measures for staying apart until things are tapering down. Here in Southern California people are staying pretty chill though and still running errands, working, living normally with the exception of shopping supplies. I couldn’t even get my normal amount (meaning for one person) for several days but I think the supply chain is opening back up here. I’ve received many emails from my health insurance, work, and businesses about what action they are taking. Mostly they’re a heads up that things may slow down or be disrupted but they’re taking steps to mitigate time lines. I am traveling on Thursday domestically and I’m nervous, but hoping for the best from others. Hoping people don’t overreact at the airport and on the airplane. We’ll see what the midwest is like and then I travel to the east coast after that, so I think it will be a good indicator of how others are handling things. I’m making sure I pack necessities in case I were stuck in my travel for longer. Thank you for starting this thread. I’m interested to read what others are thinking and feeling about it all. I’m also praying for the areas here and in other countries that are already hard hit. It’s sad. 

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Kelly

Nicole,

You are welcome! I live in the Midwest and I can tell you we are like you in CA. We have had a run of TP in Costco but there is plenty in other stores. Airports are really empty so I think you will be fine there. The death rate for COVID-19 is less then your average flu. The FEAR is the factor that one never knows about. I agree with you we have to keep our head on straight and just be rational humans. However, with it EVERYONE in all the messaging and changes of behavior, it does weigh on you which is particular hard when you are grieving. I am hoping some of our members will chime in who live in other countries - like Italy.

Keep talking. Conversation makes us stronger, not weaker.

Kelly

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ModKatB

I live in the South and the stores here are out of things like alcohol, disinfectant wipes and hand sanitiizers. It seems like part of the problem is having so many stories online and on the television that contradict one another. I think if the media stopped trying to be the first to get the story out and make sure that the information was the correct information things might be a little less stressful or at least that is the way I feel about this.

1 hour ago, Kelly said:

Keep talking. Conversation makes us stronger, not weaker.

I really like this Kelly. Thanks for giving us the place to have those conversations.

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Kelly

Kat,

You are welcome! I have spent all day working at my "day job" getting accurate information ready to go to veterinary hospitals. We have heard some people are so freaked out about the virus that they are abandoning their pets at veterinary hospitals!! Pets do not transmit the virus. Please pass the message to friends and family keep your pets!!

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Kelly

Today in the US seems to be a particularly crazy day. How is everyone holding up?

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jwahlquist

Well seeing as how my husband died due to complications from Influenza A and strep, this is obviously scary.    I know all too well how someone can go from walking around just not feeling great to gone in just a few short days.  

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Kelly

Jwahlquist (HUGS) totally scary with how your husband died! How is your geographical area doing?

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jwahlquist

I don’t think it is as bad here as some parts of the state and it certainly isn’t as bad in my state as some others that are more densely populated.  Though the governor did close all public schools until April 24th or at least that was the latest news.   I just wish that some people were less prone to panic and others were a little more cautious.   I think a good place is the middle ground between the two.  No one needs to buy enough toilet paper to last for a year.  I saw a lady checking out with two jumbo packages and nothing else.  So she either has a very large family or she is stocking up for an apocalypse.   I have heard there are areas where stores are out of things like milk, bread and eggs.  Seems kinda crazy but who knows.  
 

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Kelly

Jwahlquist,

I was at Costco on Thursday night and it was a very surreal moment for me. It was interesting to see what was totally gone and what was still over flowing on the shelves. Then I went to the co-op and everything was business as normal. All the shelves were full and fine. People's behavior has been very interesting to watch. I sent out light and love to the world asking for calmness. I saw today on Next Door someone was asking for TP!

Kelly

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KayC

I live 50 miles from the nearest city.  Every two weeks I drive 100+ mile round trip to get groceries, more if I have other stops.  The store aisles are empty.  No produce, no meat, no toilet paper, etc.  I will drive in again this week and hopefully there will be something I can eat (I'm on a very low carb diet for my health) that I can buy.  I tried ordering sundries from Amazon and Walmart on line yesterday...took me two hours because they kept taking things out of my cart and putting other things in!  One thing got missed...called Amazon, nope they can't reopen an order even though it hasn't begun to process.  Need my puppy's chow, tried to call Costco to see if they have it in (I hate to drive 60 miles away for nothing) and they are not answering their phone.  Tried on line, they no longer sell it or dog food on line.  This is Eugene/Springfield OR.

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Kelly

KayC have you tried Chewy.com? Or Wags.com for your pet needs? Also farm supply places carry pet food like this https://www.coastalcountry.com/.

That place is in Eugene/Springield OR.

For human food look at www.vitacost.com or www.thrivemarket.com.

Kelly

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Nicole-my grief journey

I skipped my trip to the midwest last Thursday (didn’t want a cluster to pop up and then be stuck in an unfamiliar city in a hotel). I traveled straight to my dad in Pennsylvania. With my mom and two brothers that passed away, I wanted to be here to make sure he’s ok. From my flight out of California everyone practiced food hygiene and protective measures. Then from Phoenix to PA was the complete opposite. I am still in shock about how people really couldn’t grasp the seriousness of the situation, but I’m thinking that alot of people were just extremely mislead by what they heard. Now, they have all changed course and I am so relieved by that, but it took them seeing on the news that there were cases of the virus here and the local government to close bars, restaurants and other businesses for that to happen. When getting to my dad after the plane, I made sure we didn’t hug (just incase) and I showered immediately. I also took major precautions on the flights with cleaning, not talking, eating and staying covered. I did my best the last two weeks trying to bring my friends and family up to speed on what I thought may happen/ could happen. I didn’t due it in an alarmist way, just calm, factual and compassionate. But people still didn’t prep. Now, everyone is scrambling for non perishables and about the news they’ve heard. It takes time for all of us to process information and so even though there’s no going back and use for what should have happened since this was discovered months ago in other countries...I’m moving forward. So, now I’ve looked at how I can volunteer and have checked on the seniors that I know; to see who I can help if they need it. Scary times. Starting tomorrow, I‘m going to try and do less scanning on my phone for the latest and check the news and CDC website maybe 4 times throughout the day instead of tons for a mental health break. And I’m going to reach out to people who need to vent, have a talk if they’re scared or just need to hear someone else talking because they’re alone. I’m thinking of all of you and hoping we all come through this ok. 

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Kelly

Nicole,

Even though we might not have control of what is happening to us, we can control our respond to it. I started a post on NextDoor with my neighbors saying together if we lean into each other we will stay strong. With lock downs happening, our neighbors are going to be the only thing that we do have. LOTS of people have responded to this positive message. I also started a tips and tricks thread for people to share ideas. We all can make a difference. Just listening and putting our best foot forward can do more than you think.

Kelly

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Nicole-my grief journey
6 hours ago, Kelly said:

Nicole,

Even though we might not have control of what is happening to us, we can control our respond to it. I started a post on NextDoor with my neighbors saying together if we lean into each other we will stay strong. With lock downs happening, our neighbors are going to be the only thing that we do have. LOTS of people have responded to this positive message. I also started a tips and tricks thread for people to share ideas. We all can make a difference. Just listening and putting our best foot forward can do more than you think.

Kelly

Thank you Kelly! Great idea! I will try that too. And I just emailed corporate and local food suppliers asking that they follow suit with other states by dedicating the first two hours of the stores opening to our senior community that is put at high risk for this. I’m also looking at more options for helping them and getting supplies to them if they can’t get to the store. I will email the Governor and local mayor here and make phone calls. I also googled about volunteers for the checking points but haven’t been able to find anything. I know that as people get sick they will need more help in ways we haven’t thought of. I’m single and don’t have children so I’m willing to take that risk if need be. 

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Kelly

Nicole,

Great ideas that you are doing!! I was just reading that non-profits like food shelf really need help and supplies/dollars. Also meals on wheels need volunteers. Have you reached out to the food shelves in the area's where your stores are located? There are a ton of service people who worked in restaurants out of work. Can you do something with them like make sandwiches to deliver?

Kelly

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foreverhis
Posted (edited)
On 3/11/2020 at 7:04 AM, Kelly said:

The death rate for COVID-19 is less then your average flu.

Hi Kelly.  We only recently had our first cases locally.  Yesterday, the order came down for primary "shelter in place."  I think on the whole it's the smart thing to do to try to stop the spread.  One of my biggest problems is that my fridge is failing and I must get a new one soon.  I almost lost it again 3 days ago, but having it working for now.  (God bless first my father and then my husband for having taught me to tinker!)  I found out that I am allowed to go to the appliance store during the early "old and immune compromised people" hours.  A couple of grocery stores and Costco seem to have the same thing starting.  By limiting the number of people at a time, disinfecting in between, etc. they can stay open and still keep people safer.

We absolutely should not panic.  That helps no one and causes more problems.  Our family practices good hygiene 100% of the year, so there aren't that many changes for me.  I always assume that others I encounter aren't as consistent or caring about it as we are.  Then again, I have a somewhat compromised immune system, so I'm probably more aware because of it.  And I never get freaked out by the cold and flu season--not even a bad one like a few years ago.  I just adjust the things I do, limit who I spend time with, and stay home more often.

I do have to correct the death rate for COVID-19.  Thus far, it is actually much higher than for even the worst seasonal flu (except 1917-1918, of course).  In "bad" years, seasonal flu in the United States has a fatality rate of about 0.16%.  So far, in the United States, COVID-19 is between 2.5% and 3%.  I believe that will go down as more people are tested and more non-fatal cases are confirmed.  But even if it drops to 1%, it will still be several times higher than the worst modern flu years.  World wide, I think it's still at about 3.4%.  Again though, panicking does no good for anyone and, I think, mass hysteria (if you will) will cause more deaths.

But there's a bigger problem than that.  The number of complicated cases, ICU and hospitalizations, is forcing health care facilities to turn away people with other serious health problems.  Cancer (can you imagine?), other respiratory illnesses, orthopedic patients, and more are being told, "We can't help you so you're on your own right now."  COVID-19 is overwhelming health systems and ours in the United States was already in trouble.

As a person with long-term auto-immune health conditions, I do worry a bit.  I have some orthopedic issues that are causing me severe problems right now.  I can't get in to the doctor (and don't want to risk it anyway), but it's starting to affect my ability to function.  I try to remind myself that it can be addressed later and that others have it worse than I do.

One way that I'm lucky is in my friends and family.  On my block, a small group of us are good friends and are looking out for each other as we shelter in place.  And amazingly (or maybe not) everyone is still in good spirits and are trying to help each other.  There's a line from something that goes something like, "America's darkest days have always been followed by its finest hours."  I'd like to think we can all come together to weather this and any other storm.

And it's sure nice to be able to come here and talk about it with people who understand what it is to deal with this and grief at the same time.

Edited by foreverhis
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Kelly

Foreverhis,

Knock on wood that your fridge holds up! Are you on the West Coast of the USA? I 1000% agree with you about the over running of the hospitals. Here in MN we are trying to "flatten the curve" so people who need help on a regular, normal basis receive it. Life still does go on even during a pandemic. My mother said that about my father's passing. She said you know Kelly, I woke up the next day after your father passed and realized there were things I still had to do because I was living and it was surreal. That is where we are right now - surreal.

What I have noticed is how amazing my community has been to pull together and help people. I have been posting on NextDoor.com quiet a bit. Today I posted "I Am Grateful..." just to keep a positive tone going. I am seeing strangers offering to help other strangers. I have never seen so many complete families walking on my street even on weekends. My desk faces the window and I sit here at least 8 hours a day. It puts a smile on my face.

We have never been here before ever. It is surreal watching this type of history unfold in front of us and be part of it. It is world wide. I think we just keep talking and helping each other as much as possible. Keep us updated here Forever!

Kelly

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foreverhis
20 hours ago, Kelly said:

Here in MN we are trying to "flatten the curve" so people who need help on a regular, normal basis receive it. Life still does go on even during a pandemic.

Hi, Kelly.  Yes, I'm on the central coast in CA in a primarily agricultural, wine, and university region.  (Boo-hoo, all three winery spring parties I was invited to have been postponed/cancelled.)

Good for all of you to get out ahead of this in MN.  I'm sure you've read that Gov Newsom put a state-wide "stay at home" order in place starting this morning.  I had a few things to pick up (not that most were in stock) and a prescription.  Whole Foods is doing "over 60" pre-opening hour every day.  Ours in about 12 miles away and opens for that hour at 7 am!  So I dragged my bum out of bed before 6, made coffee, got dressed, and headed in.  It was great in that they had an amazingly stocked organic produce section.  I missed our Monday farmers market this week.  I also scored hair conditioner, a 1/2 gallon of local milk, and pasta on sale.  Yay me. 

I got to the pharmacy, bought a lottery ticket just for the heck of it, and am now hunkered down at home, thankful to be fairly well stocked and surrounded by people who care.  But I have to admit that as soon as the car crested a hill and I could see the roof of our house, all I could think was, "My honey isn't there waiting to weather this storm with me.  Everyone else still has their love to keep them warm." and started crying.  Good thing I was less than a mile from home, but I still sat in the garage crying for a good 5 minutes before I was able to pull myself together enough to open the darn car door.  Then more crying as I put my food and other items away.

I went to Home Depot to check out fridges, take photos, and come home to shop online.  Our local Costco is right by there.  By 8:30, there was a line more than halfway around the building, but it was moving--slowly.  I scrapped my idea to pick up a couple of things, but knew one of my dear friends was driving in to pick up a prescription.  As an FYI because I suspect it would be the same at all Costcos: If you are only picking up a prescription, go to the front of the store where employees are funneling in customers as others leave.  Tell them you are just there for a prescription and an employee will escort you to the pharmacy to pick it up.  I texted my friend about both the line and the pharmacy exception.  She was relieved.  She had been sitting at a Trader Joe's parking lot waiting because they hadn't updated their opening hours and she went too early.  She was able to get to Costco and get back to TJ's to continue waiting in line for opening.

We texted each other at least 20 times when we'd see something.  Like, "Eggs? They have the ones you like." or "They just stocked fresh dug potatoes. Want some?"  etc.  That way we were able to each stop at fewer places and come home.  She's a neighbor, so we'll swap stuff we got for each other later today.  Now my whole local posse is home for the next 2 weeks. 

I am still sooooo stressed out by this, though we only had our first cases locally about 10 days ago.  Our daughter and granddaughter live in Seattle. They have a good group of friends, but I'm still so concerned about the number of cases up there.  And what if one of them needs medical care for something else?  We have a bunch of family in the bay area, where things are much worse than here (so far).  Our best friend's daughter is an elementary school teacher, so she could easily have been exposed by all those germy children in her class and throughout the school.  She's also working with other teachers to do online classes.  Another friend up there has been HIV positive for more than 20 years, takes good care of his health, and has viral numbers at nearly zero thanks to medication and proper care.  But he's an RN in an AIDs clinic, so I worry about his immune system and exposure. 

Rapid weather changes combined with this stress have really set off my auto-immune symptoms of joint inflammation and pain, as well as my usual fatigue and achiness.  Just when my cortisol numbers were starting to come down after losing my husband, now this.  I guess I can kiss my expected weight loss goodbye until my stress levels start to go down again.  Sigh.

I worry about all our members here too.  Stress, fatigue, insomnia, not always taking care of ourselves makes us all more susceptible.

Everyone, take care of yourselves, please.  Stay warm, stay home, and stay well.

 

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Kelly

foreverhis,

Sorry to take so long to get back to you. My day job is helping veterinarians with their marketing and we are working like crazy to get them going as essential businesses and letting their pet owners know. I am here though and will keep checking in often. This morning I woke up and decided I was going to face the day differently then the way I did the rest of the week. The "hits" that keep coming that make us adjust are super damn hard. I decided that the only person I can control is myself so that is where I was starting. I decided I am going to "adjust upwards" meaning I am going to focus on the positive as much as I can as I help others. I am going to try to help my family, my community, my employees and my clients. If I cave into fear then I am adding more fear to the very rapid growing pile. Instead, I am going to try to be a "light" out there. And you know what? I can report today was a better day. Was it still scarey? Sure. But I felt like what I did mattered. Everyone of us can make a difference in the people around us. Instead of worrying your daughter might get sick for example, picture her in a force field of light where no harm can penetrate. If we are going to spend energy might as well make it for something that might help then hinder is my thinking.

Our greatest strength is our community. We have a great one here at Grieving.com. I encourage you all to empower yourselves and each other. Lean into each other and find someway to help. Foreverhis, you have been here for awhile but there are new people just starting this grief journey. Can you imagine being at the beginning of your journey AND Covid? Maybe you can help others?

I believe in all of you. Keep posting FYI. It helps to "talk". It helps me to hear from all of you.

Kelly

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foreverhis

Thanks, Kelly.  It's great to hear that you have been able to find a light and positive things to do.  I'm so lucky that I've got family checking in and especially lucky in my group of friends down here.  We're all near each other on my dead-end block (plus one friend two blocks further down).  Standing at the appropriate distance, several of us talked in the street today, detailing what we have extras of to share and how we can help each other.  Not a single one of us middle-aged fogies felt the need to stock up for the apocalypse.  I will say we're glad that we have enough TP to last a month (thanks to standard Costco shopping, not hoarding) and food to share. Our across the street friends offered any room in their fridge and freezer if mine poops out completely.  The big farmers markets in town have all been shut down because they are so crowded, but our little neighborhood weekly farmers markets have (so far) been open.  Stalls are spread apart, customers can't paw the produce, and there are limits to the number of people at one time, but thank goodness for them.  I'm especially worried about the farmers because they can't exactly ask their spring crops to stop growing for the duration.

Here's something I found interesting and definitely appropriate karma:  Big signs at Costco and a couple of other stores said in essence, "We are changing our return policy.  We will NOT be allowing returns on overbought items such as toilet paper and other paper products, canned goods, medical supplies, and sundries just because you had to be selfish and greedy, clearing the shelves so that others couldn't get what they need."  Every store in our area has put limits on everything that people are hoarding so when stock does come in no one can try to greedily grab all of it.

Situations like this seem to bring out both the best and the worst in people.

 

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Kelly

Foreverhis,

Gosh that is a FANTASTIC sign for Costco. Love, love, love it. This event will change us forever. Just like in WW2 when women went to work out of the home. Many didn't want to return to the previous way of life. Today I worked on setting up my daughter to do school at home. They start in a week. What a mad scramble this week to get everything home from her school, and getting a space set up for her. This will forever change school! No longer is a snow day a day off. Now, it will be okay so  you have snow. See you online at our normal time.

Personally I have only seen people so far who have put their best foot forward or crickets. Like people who aren't "there" and not pulling together to help. We will see what happens as this unfolds. Keep talking here. It really does help to know you are connected.

HUGS

Kelly

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hanby67

Coronavirus has spoiled all my trip plannings. I have canceled my Italy trip that was scheduled for next month because of the Coronavirus. I was planning to spend my holidays in Italy. but corona ruined it all. I am single for the last two years so I thought if I go to Italy maybe I will find a good partner there. But Covid-19 ruined it all. Now I have changed my destination to Canada. I have just found an article online4.love/canadian-dating-sites/ that has helped me immensely to learn about dating in Canada. The writer has written about many dating sites in his article. what do you think guys the writer correctly described the facts in his article? Is there anyone who has experience dating there? or knows about the most popular dating website in Canada? And how many Corona patients have been reported in Canada so far? Your advice is very meaningful to me. I am in very stress.

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