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Loss of father and my home


Andythepainter

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Andythepainter

In july of 2017 I lost my father after a three month progressive set of organ failures due to heart issues and fluid retention. 

It should have allowed a lot of time to process and plan but it didn't... it felt like five minutes between when he went in to hospital and when I got the call from my uncle to say he had died. I was having a rare trip out that evening instead of being in the hospital or arranging things at home and suddenly the man who raised me was not coming home again. 

The next few months involved clearing his possessions and my brother pushing me to get the family house sold so he could buy a new house for him and his wife and kids as they'd made some bad choices with money and got into debt. I felt forced to do everything quickly and while i know i had to get out of there i never realised at the time id miss my old life so much.....

I decided soon after to cut my brother out of my life and haven't looked back since. i have no interest in continuing to be a part of his pity party and have no interest in having him at mine. 

maybe no-one will read this but it feels good just to type some of it. 

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Dear Andy,

My deepest condolences and sympathies. I am very sorry for your loss.

You did the best you could under the circumstances. We all want to keep the family peace even during a very raw time.

Family dynamics are so hard and are magnified during times of grief. We all have to do what is best for ourselves. And if you decide in the future to change your mind, that is okay too.

Wishing you peace.

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