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Feeling alone


Srtx

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I lost my mom on February 23 and my dad when I was 15. I know I’m going to need therapy because my “friends” have all but disappeared. I believe in my mind this has happened due to me being clinically depressed after losing my job last year. I became a hermit and couldn’t socialize with anyone. The condolences on social media help, but I’m so hurt and angry from some that have not reached out at all. I waited until I knew for sure they knew and then waited some more, nothing, not even a “I’m so sorry”. I lashed out at them privately with zero regrets. I feel better now, but did it help me or them to cut the thin cord?  I know I can move on from those friends now that I lashed out. I also abruptly apologized because I do treasure what we had as friends. Why are people so shitty? 

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Nicole-my grief journey

Srtx,

I empathize with you completely and my heart goes out to you on your loss. Losing a mom is so painful. I lost mine in July 2018. She was my everything. I have severe depression I work with every day and know that it’s no joke. Since losing my mom I have had emotions running the entire spectrum in my grief. People (especially if they haven’t lost their parent) don’t know what to do with others grief and so some of them avoid interaction with us entirely. The best thing that I did for myself was go to therapy. It makes me accountable to be somewhere. It makes me face my grief, it helps me release emotion and I can release all of it in there (even anger). It helps me to have a witness to my grief, to know it’s normal to feel how I feel and that it’s ok. It takes time to process loss and how to move forward feeling so lost and so I continue to go. Grief doesn’t go away but it changes and becomes more bearable with time and tools. I’m thinking of you and I know people can suck. I’m sending warm thoughts your way. I know people can be disappointing and I’m sorry you have been made to feel more down because of that. After things were a little less cloudy for me, my friends and I had discussions and I realized they wanted to help but were nervous and not sure how to approach me. They thought I wanted time alone.  I started being more direct with my friends about what I needed and they ended up stepping up to the plate. I hope this for you too. 

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AlexLeonardi
22 hours ago, Srtx said:

I lost my mom on February 23 and my dad when I was 15. I know I’m going to need therapy because my “friends” have all but disappeared. I believe in my mind this has happened due to me being clinically depressed after losing my job last year. I became a hermit and couldn’t socialize with anyone. The condolences on social media help, but I’m so hurt and angry from some that have not reached out at all. I waited until I knew for sure they knew and then waited some more, nothing, not even a “I’m so sorry”. I lashed out at them privately with zero regrets. I feel better now, but did it help me or them to cut the thin cord?  I know I can move on from those friends now that I lashed out. I also abruptly apologized because I do treasure what we had as friends. Why are people so shitty? 

My heart goes out to you. It's always hard when we feel like our friends abandon us, and even more so when it's in a time of grief. I want to encourage you that there are people who care. I'm glad you reached out here. No words from me can fully atone for what your friends did, but know that I'm thinking and praying for you. 

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