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confused_father

Am I driving myself mad with guilt?

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confused_father

I split with my ex 4 years ago, we had a very turbulent relationship, we were both addicts when we met but when she fell pregnant I done a stint in rehab and got clean, she never could and left me to bring my daughter up alone. Anyway a year later it all got too much for her and she passed away, it absolutely broke me, the past 3 years have been a mixture of anger, sadness and guilt!

I know I'm a good father and my daughter is flourishing in every aspect of life. I always thought that would be enough to make me happy and I am to a certain extent but I do get lonely. The problem I'm having is I met a lady not long after my partner passed and she has been a great friend, a rock really, she is single but there was never any romantic connection between us but lately I'm starting to see her in a different light and I feel awful for it as if I'm cheating on my partner.

We do things together mainly with our girls (they're best friends) and I feel so happy in her company but at night when I'm alone I just feel riddled with guilt even though I've no idea whether my friend has any romantic feelings towards me, it could be that we're both too nervous to broach the subject!

I've no idea how to move forward with this or if I should put some distance between us?

Any advice?

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Dear confused-father,

It is understandable that you don't want to affect the friendship. Maybe you could ask her about doing something without the girls and see how she reacts. Or gently ask her how she feels about dating in general.

I'm sure she will be flattered. I know its hard to make the first move but it is worth taking a risk.

Wishing you the best.

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