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Loss of an Unborn child

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Hey, I’m new to this app and I’m not sure how it works.


How do you deal with the loss of a child? Because, even though he was still in my belly, he was my child. My third unborn life but the farthest along, 20 weeks. Far enough to see his sweet face in a 4D ultrasound. Far enough for my stomach to swell with his presence and to feel him move inside of me. I don’t know how to cope. It feels wrong to still live my life, to wake up and go to work every day knowing that he is no longer with me. I know that I will never be able to see his face, see his first smile, his first steps, hear his voice or smell his smell. I will never hold him to my breast or snuggle his little body to mine.


The milk my breasts produced will never go to nourishing his body. Instead it sits inside of my engorged chest and I try to not think about how it is meant for someone that is no longer with me.


My fiancé is coping in his own way and we try to distract ourselves with movies on the couch. Nighttime is the worst because there is nothing to distract you while you are laying in the dark. The thoughts just come, piling in on one another until there are so many that it’s hard to focus through the pain. I try to be strong and choke it back because crying doesn’t make it any better. Nothing makes it better. I don’t want to upset anyone else so I fake a strong facade all day. I’m living through the grief but it doesn’t feel much like living. It feels like living like a zombie, making the motions but with no meaning.


How do you deal with the loss of an unborn child?



Sent from my iPhone using Grieving.com

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Feelinglost09.    Such sad news about your baby.   I noticed that you hadn’t had a response from people who may have experience that they could share with you at this time so I wanted to reach out even though  I am an older mum .   Through my years I have known many friends and daughters of friends who have lost their unborn babies - it is a very painful ,  emotional  time .    When I sat and talked to them many said  how they felt that  other people didn’t understand how much  they were grieving.   It was their baby and they had  plans and dreams for their future - it was an unbelievably cruel time.     I have seen most of them go on to have other children but they never forget the ones that were not born.        I hope that you are getting the support and understanding  that you and your partner need from those in your lives but I think that people are worried that if they keep making inquiries as to how you are doing that they may be upsetting you  when , of course, you are already upset .     It is ok to let others know how you really feel - it can be an awful strain keeping up that facade.    I lost my adult son so I understand just how bad grief can get.

I wish you peace for your future.  Roz 

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