Members Heatherann414 Posted January 11, 2020 Members Report Share Posted January 11, 2020 Hey guys, I'm sure most of you know my situation based on my previous post. I just felt like making a new one and venting about something slightly different here. Even of no one responds I need to get it out. The hardest part I'm having through all this is hurting deeply for the future we might've had together. He was my dream boy. In every sense. Me and him dated about 8 years ago when we were VERY young. I've always loved him. When we decided to give it another try I wasnt so sure about it because I had been so heart broken before by other guys .But THAT night. The first night of being together again. I've never felt anything like it. I had to be at work early so he took the trains with me and walked me all the way home. He didnt get home until about 5/6am. I remember when we were waiting for one of the trains, holding on to him and feeling so safe. Comfortable. Whole. He always made sure I came first. I trusted him with my life. Literally. I opened up to him about the darkest parts of me and he accepted it. No questions asked. A few days before he passed I was thinking about him and my future and have never felt so sure about anything in my life. We seriously talked about moving in together and wanting to start a life together. The hardest part is hearing his family tell me how much he loved me, wanted to marry me. How he had been talking about me for years. Me and him just understood eachother like no one else could. Everyone keeps telling me "You will find love again, and he'll be rooting for you" and even if that's true. I want HIM. I want a future with HIM. And I'll never be able to have that. It hurts so much. I just want him by my side . I want the future we had planned. I hate this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rhonda R Posted January 14, 2020 Members Report Share Posted January 14, 2020 I think this is one of the hardest parts of grief, unable to believe this has happened and just wanting back what you had so bad. There isn't one person on here who doesn't understand exactly how you feel. "You will find love again" doesn't help the situation. I've never understood how people think the love of your life is just replaceable. Of course you don't want anyone else. Of course you only want him. Of course you are still in love with him. Of course you are grieving your future. Someone once said on here, the hardest part about this is he is the person I would turn to in times like these and he isn't there. There is nothing about this that is easy. His love for you didn't die with him, it's still there. I know that gives little comfort and all this is horrible, but it's true. You are so young to be dealing with something like this but life and death are not fair. I know several of us had to put the future aside and only concentrate on today...heck, I'm still doing that 19 months later. I wish there were an instruction book to give you but there isn't. This journey is different for everyone. I'm so sorry. We are here for you...vent, rant, rave, we get it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted January 15, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted January 15, 2020 Sometimes we feel so strongly for people as is the case here, but we don't know what to say...the truth is there is nothing we can say to help you feel better...there is no "fix" for this. Five months ago, 8/16, I lost my Arlie, my companion dog, who I called my "soulmate in a dog." George was, of course, my soulmate in life but he's been gone almost 15 years and Arlie was having the next best in being my family. I cannot get over Arlie, my DOG, how in the world are we supposed to make it over our PERSON?! It doesn't happen. We don't get over them, we grieve them the rest of our lives. And we grieve all the secondary loss, dreams, our futures together. Oh we eventually learn to adjust to "life without" but never, NEVER do we "like" it and always we miss them. Our love continues both theirs for us and ours for them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Dazed&Confused Posted January 22, 2020 Members Report Share Posted January 22, 2020 I hear you Heatherann414! One of my friends told me that same thing - you'll find someone else - or something close, two days after she died. I just smiled and told him that was simply not possible - unless she is somehow miraculously resurrected and walks back through the door. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted January 22, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted January 22, 2020 D&C, It never ceases to amaze me the things people say, and at two days out?! I just shake my head. If they had a working brain in their head (and I know this is a friend of yours so forgive my putting it that way) I wonder if we put it to them, "If your husband suddenly died and someone told you 'You'll find someone else.' how that would make you feel, and especially at TWO DAYS!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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