I miss my dad

[hollomang]

Missing my dad so much. I don’t understand how a person can just be gone. I get so angry thinking about how much I prayed and asked the universe to save you. I get so mad thinking about how hard you fought to stay alive and in the end we still lost you. I still can’t believe this has happened. I wish we could go back. I wish there was something I could do to bring you back. I hate life without you.

 

 

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[HelenS]

Hi,

I lost my mum 3 days ago, and dad 8 years ago. I was very close to mum. I also feel very sad at the loss, a gaping hole, slightly claustrophobic feeling. I also prayed alot for mum. I do believe in God and the resurrection and that I will see my parents again. But it doesn't take away the fact that I miss in particular my mum desperately at present, or that I understand why she went now. I now feel that I have to find me without my parents, and its like walking into completely unknown territory. It think its going to take some time to find my feet. This is where I hope God doesn't just walk along side, but carries, as my path without mum feels unclear.

I very rarely post online how I feel, in fact I haven't done for years, but such is the loss, I so want to communicate with other people about how difficult it is to lose a parent (or both now in my case). My faith in God is now being tested to beyond its normal boundaries. But he is supposed to want to be our Father in heaven - if he is and wants to be - I'd like him to take away the afraid feeling I have give me peace - its a suffocating feeling I have. I pray for peace for me and all who have lost here.

I don't blame any angry feelings anyone has, death is absolutely heart breaking. The first couple of days I have swung between being practical to having uncontrollable tears. My mind was spinning at first, though the spinning a bit less now. I guess I'm on the start of another time in life. I would not have planned things to happen the way they have. I'll have to take each day as it comes at the moment, focus on the every day little things, and not expect too much of myself. I wouldn't expect much of someone in the same position as me, except to continue the little things, a cup of tea, some food, and gentle steps.

I remember when dad died, I honestly felt like the world had just stopped, but my mum was still there then. Now I just feel without mum like things are very very quiet in my heart.

Thanks for listening if you have. And my heart goes out to all who are suffering loss.

[reader]

Dear hollomang,

Please know we are all with you. I'm so sorry for all your pain and sorrow. 

Keep expressing yourself and know you are not alone.

Sending all my thoughts and prayers.