Members Filippo Posted December 18, 2019 Members Report Share Posted December 18, 2019 I was 8 when my dad was killed on January 6 of 2013 by 20 year old Karlie Tomica. All she received a sentence of 4 years in jail, 2 years of house arrest and 15 years probation for involuntary manslaughter and running away. For some reason I wasn’t crying at the news, after I got the news that he was killed, I went home and put on the TV, I didn’t even cry at the funeral. I’ve begun to notice a pattern, whenever a sad event or any emotional event for that matter occurs, the emotional impact was very temporary, imagine having your dad die 9 days before your birthday, and all I felt was nothing. Over the next few years of my life all I felt was violent and unimaginable depth of rage to the point where even today as a 15 soon to be 16 year old boy, I would constantly have thoughts of murdering her in gruesome ways or beating the **** out of her. Please, someone help me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Membership heidia Posted December 18, 2019 Membership Report Share Posted December 18, 2019 Hi Filippo, I am so so sorry for the constant pain you are in, you are incredibly strong to just get through every day. I wish I had expertise in this area, I hope someone responds here with maybe links to therapists or groups where you could really express your rage and start to transform it into something less destructive to your heart. I apologize if I am saying anything wrong. I wish you all the best. I admittedly do not relate to your situation specifically, but I am grieving my mom, so I do know how overwhelming in general it can be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Filippo Posted December 19, 2019 Author Members Report Share Posted December 19, 2019 You aren’t saying anything wrong, it’s nice to vent because to be honest I’m the class clown so I’m good at hiding my problems with a smile and puns Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tessa Posted December 19, 2019 Members Report Share Posted December 19, 2019 Hi Filippo, Have you spoken to anyone about this (apart from on forums)? Have you spoken to your family or therapists/counsellors. It sounds like you have bottled up the pain. It's a way us human beings use to cope with anything that is too traumatic or painful. We lock it up inside but it keeps seeping out. Do you have a priest or minister or teacher or someone that you can turn to for help. Talking about your experience, your feelings, with a professional can help you release that pain. I'm so sorry for your loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Filippo Posted December 19, 2019 Author Members Report Share Posted December 19, 2019 Thank you for the reply. To answer your question, the only people who know are my psychology teacher and that’s it, I don’t have a priest nearby and I do not wish for my mom to find out. Telling her would lead to complicated questions I can’t answer and if I told my guidance counselor, they would tell my family. This is my burden alone to deal with Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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