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My dad died but I seem to have lost both parents


Tia77

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My dad passed away this past January. My mom (who was married to him for over 50 years) has been grieving in her own way, which is very understandable. Nonetheless she has been emotionally unavailable to me since my dad died. She has now been dating a man and still remains out of my life. What makes it harder is that we are neighbors. I used to spend time every day at my parent’s house but now my mom seems to shut me out. I may be grown but sometimes I just want my mom. So now I’m grieving not just for my dad, but for my mom, who I see drive past my house every day.

 

 

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You are not alone.  After my husband was diagnosed, his whole side of his family completely disappeared. Then after he died my parents disappeared and when they would appear it would be to tell me what to do or how to live my life.  They lived 5 minutes from my boys baseball field, they were 3&4 when he died and my parents wouldn't even go to see their little games.  So Sad.  You are not alone.

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Yep. My dad has dementia and did not tell le mum was hospitalized. My knowing could have saved her as she died by a doctors mistake likely..

Will forever regret underestimating his condition.

Now have to live with him getting worse and still remembering other peoples wishes. Just not mine.

You are not alone.

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You are not alone.  My father passed away in 2009 and I was more comfortable talking to him more than my mother. She is remarried and very disconnected to both my sister and I when it comes to our well being.  She puts her husband over everything and has always since I have been a teenager and I am now in my mid forties. I don't feel like I have a mother either.  She doesn't help me or is around to care for the little things in my life and if my father were here, he probably would be asking me about those little things.  Those were the differences between those two. Though, I will admit I have been angry with both of them...my  dad would be more involved as my mom just has never been.  So, his passing in 2009 left me with feeling like I didn't have anyone. And, yet I did. And so, I have been grappling with the grief of my father and the no relationship of my mother and learning to accept....You're not alone.  Just know that. ❤️

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On 3/12/2023 at 10:03 PM, Natalie1 said:

You're not alone.  Just know that. ❤️

And you're so kind to reach out in the midst of your own grief.  I am more close to my sisters than parents, my dad has been gone 41+ years, my mom 9 years, they were very dysfunctional and abusive, yet I was there for them.

My closest sister passed a year ago, it's still tough, I miss her every day.  She had disability and dementia, I was her caregiver, so I know it was a blessing she didn't reach stage IV, yet still, I miss her.

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