Members Glolilly Posted December 7, 2019 Members Report Share Posted December 7, 2019 "What is working for me is to plan things to look forward to. Sometimes my plans are small, but this year I did do a lot of traveling and I know that Mike was there with me, in my heart, as well as in many signs that I am beginning to notice." Quoted by blogger, runawaywidow.com. I too feel I do better to plan something ahead, even if it's small. My two college sons don't initiate too much but wait for me to take the lead. I did hang a new wreath on the door a few days ago. I wasn't going to do the lights but the boys said they'd help. So maybe I will have the energy after all, it seems. But what to do before and after the big day? It does feel good to have something to look forward to...even if it's different. My sister may come over but I'm not sure, because she is a newer widow than I. I look at store decorations but get exhausted if it's a huge store. Maybe a day or so we can pass out food for the homeless. I'm not sure how to sign up yet. Ok, maybe a different dinner theme for Christmas like seafood or Mexican food, little finger food snacks, because the appetite might be small. Playing wheel of fortune or other planned games with a couple of relatives and then book reading and a movie with just the boys. The day after, a 1-2 day hotel trip, only an hour away and thrift store shopping. I love second hand stores! New Year's Eve, I won't go anywhere, as it was too emotional last year,...but first to get through this first Holiday right? The first year was a blur but sometimes I think the blur was actually a fluffy foggy shield. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted December 7, 2019 Moderators Report Share Posted December 7, 2019 Unfortunately, because the holidays are in the winter, I never know if my plans will fall through because of road conditions (I live in snow country). Plows don't always show up. Often I make plans only to spend Christmas alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Glolilly Posted December 8, 2019 Author Members Report Share Posted December 8, 2019 If I was closer I would be happy to join you, even if snowed in a day or two. But maybe you want to be alone and I know I get those moments. Yes, it would be hard to plan festivals in snow country. Texas has no snow. We have to imagine it but I grew up in Michigan up until age 20 so I walked to school in several feet of snow. Here's to having a blessed, peaceful and satisfying Holiday as much as possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted December 8, 2019 Moderators Report Share Posted December 8, 2019 I am alone more than I care to. I didn't mind so much when Arlie was alive, but we were a family, my dog, cat, and me. Now it's all changed. I went to my son's yesterday so we could go to the Nutcracker, my four year old granddaughter was in it, she took her role very seriously! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gail 8588 Posted December 9, 2019 Members Report Share Posted December 9, 2019 KayC, What a beautiful little swan! These moments of joy and happiness are what we have to focus on. It is not time with your George, but it is good, really good to be part of encouraging that sweet little girl, and being proud of your son and his wife on how they are raising her. Your presence at that performance was uniquely meaningful. What a blessing of the season. Peace, Gail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rhonda R Posted December 9, 2019 Members Report Share Posted December 9, 2019 KayC, She put a smile on my face instantly. Thank you for sharing pictures of her. Gail is right, your presence was uniquely meaningful and will be more so, the older she gets. I hope the weather holds off for you and that you are able to enjoy the holiday with family. These are the little moments that keep us going in this life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jacqisonteam213 Posted December 9, 2019 Members Report Share Posted December 9, 2019 parade in Disney world 2016 . Im holding the banner Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jttalways Posted December 10, 2019 Members Report Share Posted December 10, 2019 @KayC your granddaughter is precious! Everyone is right, moments like these get us thru the dark times! @jacqisonteam213 Was your friend who passed in this marching band? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted December 10, 2019 Moderators Report Share Posted December 10, 2019 18 hours ago, Rhonda R said: These are the little moments that keep us going in this life. For sure! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jacqisonteam213 Posted December 10, 2019 Members Report Share Posted December 10, 2019 @Jttalways yep and so am i that’s where most of our memories are .disney is my favorite memory with him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MODArtemis2019 Posted December 12, 2019 Members Report Share Posted December 12, 2019 I managed ok with Thanksgiving but the thought of my first Christmas without my husband is much harder to deal with. It suddenly occurred to me that I don't have to do anything at all. No observation whatsoever is required. As soon as I thought that, I felt relief and a sense of peace. Otherwise it would be an endless series of painful triggers- and I've had enough pain this year. So to the best of my ability, I'm just going to ignore the holiday and keep busy doing the things that have helped me get through all this- work, taking care of my pets, home and property, and making plans for the spring. Bluebirds, you know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted December 12, 2019 Moderators Report Share Posted December 12, 2019 When I read your post, reminded me of this article I just got in my email this morning: https://whatsyourgrief.com/treating-yourself-with-kindness-while-grieving-at-the-holidays/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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