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21 Month Update plus Dreaming about Him


Glolilly

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Hello all. I haven't been on here in a good bit. I lost my husband teacher suddenly at home from cardiac arrest Jan 6 2018. He and I were christian partners in church. I just realized he stayed very busy to distract himself from the loss of his mother Jan 8 2016. Also lately I have been having many dreams about him. Some of him standing with no clothes on as he died at home. The latest was Saturday night with him touching my thigh half dressed and telling me to give me some space.  But he joins me later as I lay on our bed covered with pecans. I have been eating pecans lately. Also I have been assisting our two grown sons on a career pathway that has been very slow and fruitful yet. I may be wishing for his assistance in this stressful project. The youngest son is 24 and got his Bachelor Degree in business. He signed up to be an officer in the Army. He met all the qualifications and the recruiting office thought for sure he'd get it.  But he was out placed by guys having a Master's Degree. So now he is on a delayed send off as a regular enlistee in Jan 2020 in which he back out of it before the date. He wanted to pay off his 15k student loan but it only pays 25k a year vs the officer 36k a year. He is still undecided. The oldest son, 26 also at home with me, got his Master's Degree this past May also in Sports/ Kinesiology wants to teach but just learnt he needs a teacher's certification which I am paying for the program of 9 months. So it is stretching my budget and I am trying to keep them encouraged. And to top that off Texas had tornadoes and I have a ins. adjuster coming this weekend to check my roof and I feel stressed about that.  So maybe that's why I am dreaming about him now when during the early months, I didn't. Do our mind try to deal with situations in dreams?

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Hi Glolilly!  It's good to hear from you, it has been a while!  You must be proud of your sons.  I did hear about the tornadoes, I pray your roof hasn't sustained great damage and that it can be easily fixed if needed.  

I think our subconscious does have a way of trying to work things out or figure things out in our dreams, at least I've encountered that.  I rarely dream about George, no idea why,  but I envy those who do get those dreams, seems like a visitation of sorts!

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Hi KayC!  Actually I need a new roof. The ins. adjusters have been turning me down for years of storm and hail damage. Thank you for your compliment, I am trying to do my best with our sons. Strangely, at the beginning, the first 12 months. I wanted to dream about him but couldn't. To remember our life and be comforted but all I got was his scent and a small head voice saying the same few words, "what's the matter mama?".  (what he used to call me) And then he'd end saying  "it's going to be ok."  It's going to be ok, was what I heard him say when I viewed his body with the chaplain before they took him to the morgue. I try to hold onto that statement. I don't know if it was my inner subconscious trying to deal with it. Now the dreams is like I am awakening slowly from the deep and seeing his physical body more. I never experienced this great of a loss before and so I don't know where its taking me. I guess I have to just keep walking on this journey to see this out. I know there will be peaks and valleys but its like I'm out of a limb with no hands holding me sometimes. I will just keep praying daily for courage and strength to make good decisions.

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If you need a new roof due to storm damage I would think they'd cover it, they did my patio roof due to storm damage one year.  If it's from a tornado you may need a rider on your insurance to be covered.  If they refuse and it's covered under your policy, I'd contact the insurance commissioner for your state.  Good luck with it!

It took me a long time to dream about George and even then it's not frequent, but maybe I'm in a deep sleep and don't remember.  I cherish those few times.

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Will Always Be Bill's Wife

Hi Kay, it's been almost six mos.  I too want a spiritual sign, not one I think of, but one that comes from him.  I had a horrible nightmare last night, the kind that leaves you sort of paralyzed?   I woke myself up and got something to drink n climbed back into bed, hoping the nightmare wouldn't return.  I fell asleep fairly fast and I felt myself snuggled up to someone with his arm around me.  I remember I looked at his hand and it was Bill's.  I kissed the ring finger which had no ring on it.  I wear it on a chain.  He said, calm down (from the nightmare) and go back to sleep, you're safe.  I didn't want that to end, but it did shortly after.  Most beautiful event I've had....

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10 hours ago, Will Always Be Bill's Wife said:

He said, calm down (from the nightmare) and go back to sleep, you're safe.

That is beautiful, something that will be with you always.  Let it carry you.

The only profound thing I've had happen was a couple of years ago, I called the social security office to find out how much I'd get per month since I was thinking of filing (I'd retired four years earlier, living off savings but i was now broke, I'd waited, wanting the penalty to be less)...she told me I'd get $200+/month. I freaked out!  I asked her to doublecheck but since I'd held so long waiting for her to come on the phone, it was almost closing and she was not helpful, she didn't care.  She told me to call the local office, so I did, they were already gone for a long three day weekend.  A long time to go with that kind of news before talking with someone, my anxiety was kicked in full bore!  I can't live on that with my house payment, insurance, etc.

I was laying on the bed and I felt George's hand on my shoulder/back area.  I would recognize that any time!  Immediately I felt calm, peaceful, as only he can affect me.  I hadn't asked for a sign, wasn't looking for one, but it came when I most needed it...not so much a sign as him there calming me.  Come Tuesday I called the local social security office and the other lady was full of crap, I got $932/month after Medicare deduction and the guy even filed for me over the phone and set up my Medicare.  He was great,totally different than the lady who I presume was in a hurry to start her holiday weekend.

I may never experience anything like that again, I've heard it takes them great effort to get through to us, but I am grateful for that experience.  A lot of people probably think I imagined it, but no, it was as real as can be, no one can talk me out of my experience.  I know it for what it was.

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Hello KayC, I just wanted to report, that I am getting a new roof, praise the Lord! God sent a Godly man or a man used by God to help me get my roof. I am so excited and happy! The roof co. start this Monday.

@Will Always Be Bill's Wife

It's strange how they can appear to comfort and calm us so dearly when we are very upset or fearful. That is so special and tailored by unique everlasting love.

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On 11/14/2019 at 6:56 AM, KayC said:

A lot of people probably think I imagined it, but no, it was as real as can be, no one can talk me out of my experience.  I know it for what it was.

Whenever I have signs from my husband - I know they are from him and not something I am making up or imagining.  He always seems to find a way to communicate with me when I need him the most.  I am so grateful for that.

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1 hour ago, Heart&Soul said:

He always seems to find a way to communicate with me when I need him the most.

I have found that to be true with us also.

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