Jump to content

Find out how to register Here!!

Check out how to register on the site!.

Share Your Loved One's Pictures

In our beautiful Gallery

Grief Support Marketplace

Check Our New Products In The Marketplace

Take Grieving.com on the Go!

Buy on Apple and Google Play
New Members - Check Your Spam/Junk Folder for Confirmation Email ×

Recommended Posts

CaseyJ

My name is Casey and I lost my English bulldog Frankie exactly a week ago. She was the sweetest angel ever and always followed me around. If I was in my room with the door closed she would lean up against the door waiting for me to come out. She would wait for hours sometimes. She was only 4 years old when she died. She had a bowel disease and her protein levels were very low. We tried everything and eventually her little stomach would swell from excess fluid.We would have it drained every 1-2 weeks, and the vet would take out about 2.5-3 Liters of fluid every time. I felt so bad and she started loosing weight and didn't have any energy. Toward the end she couldn't really walk and lost control of her bowel movements. She couldn't lay down because she would get the hiccups and so would sleep sitting down and I would put a blanket under her head so she could at least lean on that. It killed me seeing her like that, and I made the design to have her put down once the vet told we had exhausted all options and she was clearly suffering.

A vet came to the house and put her to sleep and I've been a wreck ever since. I don't make friends easily and she was my only friend. Now I have no one and I see her anywhere. I feel such guilt for not spending more time with her, I should have been a better mom. She loved me so much and always wanted to be near me. Now, that she's gone I have severe depression and don't really talk to anyone. I've totally isolated myself, only going out of my room to get food, use the bathroom or go to work. I miss her so much and don't know if theres any point to living. I hope someone can see this and help me, even if its just a kind word. I miss my angel so much and I don't think I will ever recover. 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
AJWCat

Hi @CaseyJ 

I am so sorry for your loss of Frankie. I know how incredibly painful it is. I didn't think it was possible to grieve as deeply as I did from losing my cat - I didn't know I could physically cry as much as I did. 

I promise this will not last. But you will need to be patient and allow yourself time to process. I wish I could say it's easy. It is not. I was a total zombie for weeks. Very depressed, the world just looked so dark. 

Eventually you will gain your perspective back and realize you were a great Mom to Frankie. And you will start to remember all the good times not times you weren't perfect - that is just guilt coming out and is what a lot of us do after losing our pets. She was lucky to have you there taking care of her and helping her through the end. You did the right as sad as it is. I know someone who also lost her bulldog (young) to some kind of physical issue like this too. I am so sorry please come back and write out your feelings if it helps. We all understand where you are.  

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
KayC

I am so sorry, I know it's hard and it's all the harder when they are so young.  I lost my dog six weeks ago and have been bawling every day since.  He was everything to me (Living with Loss and Memories of Arlie).  It's common to do all the what ifs in early grief.  I wish we'd caught Arlie's cancer sooner and could have saved his life, but he'd just had a physical (I think the vet did a cursory one, more into charging money than earning it) so I don't know how I could have caught it when the vet didn't.  He had a small tumor on his tummy where all the crucial organs are but he'd always had cysts and the vet just "watched them."  He was inoperable, his liver shut down, kidneys not much better, had lymphoma also.  He was 11 1/2 but I didn't expect to lose him, was hoping for 14, and guess that was a pipe dream.  

I know the pain lessens in time but this is the hardest pet loss I've ever had, he was my soul mate in a dog.  I'll keep you in my prayers as you're now going through this as well.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
CaseyJ

Thank you both so much for responding. Your words truly mattered. Frankie was like my other half and now I feel as if I’m not even myself anymore without her. It been about 9 days since she passed and the guilt is in full-force. Her internal medicine specialist was a resident so I wonder should I have gotten a second opinion?

was she misdiagnosed and that’s why she didn’t respond to anything? All these thoughts run through my head. I just miss her so much, and the world seems so dark and lonely with my best friend  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
AJWCat

From your description she had a lot going on and was very very sick. Maybe you could have tried other things but what if in turn it just made her suffer for a day or two longer? We don't know but sadly, I believe most vets will try other options if they are there and it just wasn't. You did the right thing, and put Frankie first given the advice you were given. It's the hardest decision and you made it to be kind even though you'd be devastated. I know how dark and lonely it feels, I am so sorry. She sounded so sweet.   

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
KayC

It's normal and common to second guess ourselves and everything else in grief.  I do.  I guess that's okay if we can understand and forgive ourselves for being human and not having all knowledge and foresight.  I took Arlie in for his physicals, he'd just had one, they didn't notice anything because they didn't do a very thorough job. It was a week later when I brought him in for blood work so he could get a dental cleaning.  THAT is when they caught his inoperable cancer, too far gone, his liver not functioning, and I found out through research of my own that his kidneys were also affected.  Why did the vet not notice anything?  They are TRAINED to!

This isn't on you, if anything, on the vet.  We can't be expected to be vets!  We're their parents, we do the best job with that, that we can!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

This site uses cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. and uses these terms of services Terms of Use.