Members flyaway Posted September 19, 2019 Members Report Share Posted September 19, 2019 And it is far from easy. I think about her every day and I wonder if she would be be proud of me. She has missed out so much these past 25 years, and I really needed her. I wish I can say I met her or that I had a conversation with her, but unfortunately it will never happen. I wish she was here so I could have celebrated a single Mother's day with her at least once. I never met my mother. My very first breath was the last of hers. I keep blaming by myself for her death. I know she did it so I could live. I wish I could have felt at least once, a mother's touch, a mother's love, a home-cooked meal by my mom, but it will never happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members River Posted September 19, 2019 Members Report Share Posted September 19, 2019 My heart cries for you. I lost my Mom nearly 2 yrs ago and all I've wanted since was to know is that she is proud of me. I find it no small coincidence that I got my confirmation of that fact just this morning and with your note tonight needing the same. I had prayed for so long asking for a sign of Moms presence, her walk with God, was she proud of me? As I stood in my new Drs office waiting room this morning I saw my confirmation! I'm new to the area so I've not been in this office before. There before me, tacked to the wall behind the reception desk was a small green and gold blown-glass angel Christmas decoration. It matched, detail for detail the Angel decorations Mom had bought for herself and I some 30 years ago. Hers was lost in one of several moves over the years. Mine is tucked away in a storage shed, having recently moved across country. Mom made it clear. She loves me. She made this move with me. She does walk with God. And yes...she is proud of me! Finally. Please don't be hard on yourself. I'm sure Your Mom loved you from the minute she found out that she was expecting your arrival. It is every good mom's wish that her child live a happy, healthy, successful, blessed life. And some moms give life to that child at the same moment destiny calls her name and the path that crossed for 9 months must separate. Dear child, fear not. Your mom is near. You will see her again. And, I have no doubts that's she is pretty proud of you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members reader Posted October 2, 2019 Members Report Share Posted October 2, 2019 Dear flyaway, Your feelings are only natural and normal. It is hard to think about the what ifs in life. I'm sure your mom wanted nothing more than be with you for these past 25 years and more. I know its not easy. We all long to be reunited with our parents and to have more moments with them. Please know we are with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nuvar Posted October 7, 2019 Members Report Share Posted October 7, 2019 Hi flyaway, my heart goes out to you. You need to forgive yourself for the guilt, your mum chose to give you life. It was not an exchange but an unfortunate incident, no matter what or how you see it. Im sure your mum will not want you to live out the rest of your life in guilt and sadness because it would have defeated the purpose of bringing you to this world. No matter your religion, Im very sure she is with you in your heart and mind and some day you will reunite. For now you need to start living for yourself and for her. Take care Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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