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lost my husband of 50 years


Sandra K

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 Monday Aug 26 my loving husband died suddenly from a massive heart attack....he was only 74 years old and I am in so so much pain....I so feel like I cant go on. I don't know where do begin after the funeral and everyone goes back to their lives . My pain is so great.. every where i go in my house is a piece of him , I can smell him in every room, I cant sleep in our bed, my tears are always there, I have cried so much I feel I should have no more....i cant stand the thought of being alone in my house, I don't know where to begin  how do I go on , my body is reacting in strange ways, I spent so much time in the brm, my stomach feels so weird and twisted, i have no hunger, water is all I want, I have a warm flush that floods me when I think of something he said something he did. i relive the day constantly ..is this normal what do I do 

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dailystruggle

Sandra, I lost my amazing husband in July.  The house is hard.  One evening, I drove around and around with my dog because I couldn't bear to be home. And yes, I've been surprised at how my body has reacted....feeling physically ill all the time.

Sending you good thoughts. Know you aren't alone.

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Will Always Be Bill's Wife

I lost my greatest love, my husband Bill, unexpectedly, like you from an aortic dissection.  He was only70  and we had celebrated our 40th anniversary only 2 weeks earlier.  Everything you have felt is everything I felt...from the first night alone to now.

Please take baby steps, you are learning to walk a different way down a different path.   You may have severe highs n lows like I do, paralyzing me on the low days when I wonder how I will go on...and others when I ask myself why I'm NOT having a low day, am I forgetting him?

Like others have said here, there is no manual, no set of rules, no timetable for your grief...it is yours and mine is mine....so the best I can offer is baby steps.....some days I stumble horribly and some days I walk fine....worst part is when I wake up I never know until I take the first step out of bed and start my day.  I added a topic called Waves... I have been having an emotional week down so much n I can't control it.  So I was online and came across this....it describes me  and I'm sure you'll find yourself in it too!  I hope this new week brings you a baby step closer to comfort.

 

I've attached it below...I printed it out for my fridge so I can look at it everyday....❤️

Waves.docx

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dailystruggle

Will Always Be Bill's,

 Thank you for Waves.  I copied it off too. Very apt.  I've often referred to this grief as being is a small boat in choppy seas.

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