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Pain is almost unbearable


lisaca

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Thank God I found this site. I had to say goodbye to my baby boy Homer yesterday and I can't believe the depth of this pain. He was 17, beautiful, and had a great life. His sister passed away two years ago, and it was the first time I had to make the decision to let a dear baby go. The pain was awful, and I still miss her to this day. But this is different, and a hundred times worse, it feels like. He took a turn for the worse on Tuesday night and basically stopped eating. Went to the doctor on Thursday night and while we know it was nearing the end, she gave Homer a few shots to see if he would rally. I was able to stay home from work all day Friday to monitor him, and it became clear he wasn't going to get or feel better. So I arranged for the vet to come to our house Saturday. He did eat some food that night! So I felt better about that. I just stared at him, talked to him, and pet him every second. Yesterday, he was relaxed all morning - deciding to sleep in various favorite places. He would look up at me every time he woke up, sometimes with a soft meow, sometimes just watching me as if to be sure I was still there. I just watched him and pet him all morning, and took lots of pictures. The one attached is in his final hour, and he was so peaceful. Thank god for his vet. She had been taking care of him and his sister almost all their lives. She came in and he was on one of his favorite sofas. Gave him the sedative, and he fell asleep with my hand cradling his head while I petted under his chin, kissed him, and told him how much I loved him. He then passed on peacefully with my other hand holding his paw. I CAN'T BELIEVE how quiet and empty and lonely my house is. It is unbearable. I thought I was living by myself for the past 17 years. But I'm now realizing that I wasn't. That I took care of my babies every day for those 17 years. And now, I'm really, truly alone. I'm devastated and can't stop sobbing.

Homer last hour.jpg

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Rocky and Ginger's Mom

I'm so sorry I know your pain from losing my boy alittle over 3 yrs ago, now my girl hasnt been eating well, shes aprox 13 yrs old. I dread the thought of losing her,I know I need to bring her to get checked. My prayers are with you

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I am so sorry for your loss...I had to have my sweet boy euthanized last Friday due to cancer, I have been caregiving him but his suffering was getting worse and I had to make the hardest decision of my life, to save him pain, but not get to have him with me anymore.  This is the worst pain I've had since losing my husband 14+ years ago.

You are in my thoughts and prayers, I know this is tremendously hard.  I'm so used to seeing his smiling face around the house, cooking for him (he had lifelong Colitis), walking him twice a day, giving him treats, talking to him, now it feels so empty and quiet.  He was a once in a lifetime perfect fit for me, my soulmate in a dog.

I know with my head that the pain will lessen eventually, although I will always love and miss him, but the pain right now is excruciating.  I'm sorry you're in the same situation.  :(

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Oh Kay, I can feel your pain through your words. I'm so sorry. It really is debilitating, isn't it? The silence and emptiness. I wish you peace as you go through this journey.

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Thanks, I posted our journey on Living with Loss in this section.  I just started another thread where I'm posting stories about him.  The pain is unreal, isn't it.

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So sorry for your loss. Please keep reaching out to others who have lost a beloved pet/best friend. It is the only thing that will help you get through this. "Love has a beginning but no end" always remember that.You will see Homer again in the life to come. Hold onto to that thought and never let go.

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