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Mother and Daddy passed 3 months apart, I'm devastated


KTT

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My Mother passed away on April 17 and then my Daddy passed away on July 21.  I am an only child.  I am devastated.  I feel so lost and alone.  

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Nicole-my grief journey

KTT,

My heart truly goes out to you. Although I’ve had different losses (finding my young brother passed away and then losing my mom 6months after) I want to share with you that I too feel lost. I also feel scared, alone, like I have no direction to lean in because they were my purpose and world. It feels like my history is gone. Erased. Yes, I have the memories but I still yearn for them and it hurts to know that I will never be loved in that way again. That they went through things medically that they didn’t deserve. I will always wish for more time with them and I work on transforming my thoughts into gratitude for the time that we did have...but the loss goes so deep and grief is not linear. Their love was unconditional and irreplaceable. I don’t want this reply to be about me, just wanted to share my feelings incase you feel them too, so that you know there is someone out here who cares and is thinking of you. 

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Dear KTT, Im sorry to hear of your loss. 

I can only imagine how terrible it is for you. Are you able to seek help and support from friends, relatives, the community or professional help (such as psychiatrists, counsellors, psychologists)? 

Are you schooling or working at the moment? You definitely need some people around you.

Im also an only child and coping with my demented father since the passing of my mum roughly 1 yr ago unexpectedly due to bad doctors' advice. Im feeling terribly guilty and alone and I've been blamed by my own relatives.

You need to hold on and fight on because that's what your parents would have wanted.

Feel free to reach out to me.

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Nichole and Nuvar, Thank you so much for reaching out to me.  I am so sorry for the losses you have suffered.  I do feel like my history is erased,  it's like I'm an orphan. I do have great friends, church family and a daughter that are making sure to check on me and that I am taking care of myself.  I have an appt with a therapist in September.  It's so hard at night.  My house is so quiet. I have never lived alone before and if I didn't have my dog I would be even worse off.  My Mother was in a skilled nursing home for 10 years because I could not physically take care of her due to my own chronic health issues. I could tell for about 3 weeks before she passed that she was slipping away. It didn't make it any easier, but it was more expected than my Daddy.  He went to the hospital with a stomach ache on a Wednesday and had a bad turn on Saturday and passed on Sunday.  It was so quick I still have trouble believing its real.  He lived with me for 15 years, we were together every day.  I am so lost.  I never knew that losing them would hurt so much.  I have actual physical chest pain sometimes when I am thinking about them, which is every day.  Thanks again for reaching out to me.   

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Sorry for your tragic loss. I'm an only child, and I don't know if this is relevant advice but I seeked out friends and family members to be a spiritual brother and sister-in-law and a spiritual guardian instead of biological ones. Sorry for what happened, I hope the best for you.

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On 9/5/2019 at 2:58 AM, TravisGarden said:

Sorry for your tragic loss. I'm an only child, and I don't know if this is relevant advice but I seeked out friends and family members to be a spiritual brother and sister-in-law and a spiritual guardian instead of biological ones. Sorry for what happened, I hope the best for you.

If she had family and friends to see out she probalby wouldn't be posting how lonely she feels. Doesn't it make sense that if she had family and friends she would be reaching out to them? Do you really think she would need someone to remind her to reach out to  family and friends? Geez!

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On 9/23/2019 at 5:42 PM, candycane said:

If she had family and friends to see out she probalby wouldn't be posting how lonely she feels. Doesn't it make sense that if she had family and friends she would be reaching out to them? Do you really think she would need someone to remind her to reach out to  family and friends? Geez!

 

On 9/23/2019 at 5:42 PM, candycane said:

If she had family and friends to see out she probalby wouldn't be posting how lonely she feels. Doesn't it make sense that if she had family and friends she would be reaching out to them? Do you really think she would need someone to remind her to reach out to  family and friends? Geez!

Well you should read exactly what KTT said and not blame others .." I do have great friends, church family and a daughter that are making sure to check on me "

GEEEEZ!

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