My kitten died in car accident

[luyee]

Hello,

I took home a kitten few months back. She was knocked by a car and was dragging her hind legs. I brought her home, went to the vet, helped her with physio. Slowly she can pee and poo on her own, able to walk though still limping a little. 

This little kitten, is just like a dog. Very attached to me. She even followed me and my son to school (we walked to school, nearby to our house. Just few houses away). Then she will smell the grasses, the flowers and come back home on her own.

One morning, as usual she followed us to school. It's funny how on that day itself, I was looking at her and think to myself, I haven't carry her today. Then I thought later when I got back since I have to send my son to school. Otw to school, I took out my phone to take photo of her walking with us. I have never done that, since usually morning is a busy time to prep for school. While walking back after sending my son, somehow I looked behind my back, looked at her and said to myself "she's so pretty".  I went to buy breakfast and then got back home (I work from home). few hours later I noticed she isn't back home yet and I got worried. 

I searched for her everywhere. The next day, I dreamed of her with her mom. I'm not a religious person, but it gives me the same feeling when my mom passed away. I was really worried but pushed away the thoughts that she might be dead. I printed out flyers and asked neighbors around. Everyday I go around the neighborhood looking for her. 5 days later, a neighbor of mind (Just two houses away, the house here in my country very close to each other) told me that she saw this kitten on the roadside dead. She helped me to bury her and even showed me the place where she buried her. 

I'm devastated. I don't even know why I got all the signs that it will be her last day. She has only been with me for 3-4 months. She is the first cat I got, I admit I don't really know how to take care of cat but I love her dearly. A lot of ppl might think, she has only been with you for short period of time, you will get over it soon. But no ! I still think of her everyday.. blaming myself why I never bother to take better care of her. Sometimes I feel I want to dig her body out just so I can caress her once again but I know it's not the right thing to do. I so wish to see her one more time. She's so young, so unfair to have her life taken away just like that.  Sometimes when I see another cat, I will think if she's still here she will be this big by now. 

 

 

[KayC]

Oh Hon, it's not the length of time we have them, it's the quality of relationship.  Don't worry about what others think or say.  You love her with all your heart and that love will always be there.  It takes so long to process our grief, I hope you'll be patient and understanding of yourself.  Whatever you feel is normal in grief.  I also want to assure you that the intensity of pain will lessen as you process your grief.  The timetable is as unique as we are, our relationship is, and our own coping skills.  It takes what it takes...I've learned to coexist with my grief, I've had so many losses...I am losing my dog to cancer as we speak and I'm facing the hardest decision I've ever had to make.  

I believe our animals go to heaven.  With that thought, I hope you find comfort in this:

 

[AJWCat]

I am so very sorry, that is heartbreaking. I hope you are doing okay. 

[broken duck]

Oh god, this is so sad. One thing i think of is how you showed her so much love in her short life and that makes you quite a special person in my books. I think she knew she was loved. That's a great gift. Take care.