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Catmummy

Devastated and in mourning

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Catmummy

I am currently in the grips of grief.  On Saturday 27 July 2019 my beloved and beautiful cat Nina passed away peacefully in my arms.  Her loss has hit me so incredibly hard.  My heart is in extreme pain and I have been in floods of tears for 4 days.  Trying to keep it together at work but struggling.

We rescued Nina years ago and she became an important member of our family.  She was our only pet and was the sweetest most gentle darling ever.  Nina developed kidney disease and we tried to manage her progression as best we can.  On Friday and overnight she went downhill rather quickly and on Saturday morning could barely walk.  She was rushed to the vet, but we had a near miss only 4 months ago and knew that she was deteriorating fast.  The painful and heart wrenching decision was made to help her on her way.  To die peacefully and with us there.  I held her, close to my chest... hugging her and telling her how much she was loved.  Her passing has been incredibly difficult.  Nina was half human half cat.  She was always with us and never ventured outside the house or garden.  She was deaf and meowed very loud... always calling us when she could not see us.  She was with us wherever we were in the house.  Always wanting to be with us and wanting cuddles and fuss.  Her not being here has left a gaping wound and hole in our hearts and in our home.

I feel like I have lost a family member.  The guilt of having made the decision to help her on her way has haunted me.  I just wish she could be here with us.  My heart is broken.  Her loss has been extremely difficult to process.  Everything seems different and darker.   The pain in my heart is intense and I feel so incredibly sad.

Rest in peace my darling Nina.  You taught me so much.  You loved unconditionally and was an example of beauty and courage.  I miss you so much. 

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AJWCat

I completely understand - I lost my cat almost two years ago. But I remember the pain so so well - it was so intense sometimes I really thought I was going a little crazy with grief and sadness. The whole world was dark and just not "happy" anymore. A piece of your life - something that was pure joy and love - is missing.

I promise it will not always feel that way - but it takes time.  It just takes time to learn to live without her. It's not easy - but please don't punish yourself or feel guilty for the end. You definitely did the right thing. There was no reason to have her suffer. Our cat was rushed to the emergency vet violently sick and to go through that was beyond anything I thought I'd have to see. I can't allow myself to even think about it. I do remember the ten wonderful years and focus on the good memories. Eventually you will be able to do the same. I hope you are doing okay. :(  

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KayC

I am so sorry for your loss...your beautiful cat is the same colors as my Kitty who doesn't have a lot of time left either.  I'm so glad your Nina had you in her life to care for her and love her so she had the care she needed all her life.  

I read this article, and although the person has been grieving much longer than you, I'm sure you can relate to her feelings...I loved Marty's response.
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2011/10/finding-support-for-pet-loss.html
 

 

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lisaca

I'm so very sorry for your pain. You absolutely did the right thing, but having said that, I know it doesn't stop the grief of missing her. You're not alone.

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