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clowdy02

I loss my cat i am feeling very sad

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clowdy02

I loss my 10 year old cat last wednesday. He was like a child to me. He got infection when brought him to the vet and the vet palpated an enlarged kidneys. We tried to treat his infection but the antibiotic was not the correct medication. My cat fought for 1 1/2 months. He has no appetite and I am syringe feeding him. He was at the vet clinic for 4 days but he got worse there that is why we brought him home and gave the medication there.. I also tried to learned subq to keep him hydrated and during his last 3 days at our home he started to have appetite again am so happy I thought he was improving but I could see that his body is still weak due to anemia, I made him comfortable giving him warm bedding and lots of soft clothes to knead. He started purring and kneading again. But during his last day I fell asleep at 9.30 pm and woke up at 2:30 am. I saw he  wasn't on my bed and I found him in my cabinet I carried him so that I can syringe feed him. I still ate the food I gave him and drank his water and I carried him and put in his bed. I can see his face that is starting to feel week. His breath started to weakened and I held him tight called my mom we held him trying to wake him up calling his name repetitively his breathed were slowly fading.I am holding him tightly during his last breathed. I started to cry.I don't know if he waited for me and my mom to say goodbye because I fell asleep, It's so hard for me to because I really love him and i got him ever since he was a kitten. He always wakes me up every morning and I miss our daily routine when I give him treats he'd lay his feet on my chest or legs to get his treats. He always talked to me through his eyes. I will say word like I love you to him while blinking my eyes then he will blinked back to me. His the only pet that I truly loved and prioritized before my self. His the only that I really treated as my own child. I kept thinking of him everyday even his sister is meowing every night looking for him, They were together ever since they were a kitten. Then I dreamt of him. I saw him in my dream blinking his eyes on me for a few seconds then I woke up and started to cry because he was saying something in my dream.  We buried him in our family's mausoleum and gave him his own space there. i am just very sad and I don't know how to take the pain away,  I really love him my whole family loves him especially me and my mom. I just don't know how to lessened the pain of losing my cat because right now I really feel devastated and second guessing myself if i did something differently for him. I would do anything for him,

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Summerdove

I am so sorry for your loss and your pain.  I lost my sweet cat on Thursday and I completely understand what you are going through. Just know that my thoughts are with you during this time. 

 

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KayC

@clowdy02  I am so sorry for your loss.  To me, loss of a pet we're close to can feel like one of the hardest losses...they're in our everyday lives and routines, they love unconditionally and are so forgiving, they don't even require much from us, food, care, some attention.  My dog is dying of cancer, I've had him 10 1/2 years since he was almost one, I don't know how I'm going to live without him, he's the perfect dog for me, I've never met another even close to his personality.

Sending you comforting thoughts...

 

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Catmummy

I am so sorry for your loss and know how you feel.  I lost my beloved cat on Saturday afternoon.  Know that there are others (like us)  who know and feel your pain.  It's difficult to process the pain and grief of losing a loved one.  My darling was like my child.  She was a member of our family.  Allow yourself to cry and grieve.  Be there for your other cat who will also be mourning  the death.  Remember all the beautiful moments you shared and treasure them.  Be strong and know you are not alone xxx

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clowdy02

Thank you for all the response. I am crying everyday. I really miss my cat. He always find ways to get my attention. It's really hard to cope because I took care of him ever since he was a kitten. My other cat wanted to be alone more often now compared before that is why I am petting her more. i hope I can get through this because I am feeling very sad right now

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AJWCat

I am so sorry for your loss. :( Two years ago I lost a cat we had for 10 years - from age 5 to 15. His passing was not easy - he got extremely sick - it was a nightmare. He was my child too. I know what you are going through. I thought my heart was literally breaking in half. 

I know it does not feel like it, you will get through it. It is not easy. You just learn to live without them physically there with you. And you miss them. Eventually the memories of the very end which are so sad and painful... are replaced by all the wonderful happy memories. At least for me, that took a while. Be patient. You can't rush this process. You feel how you feel - let it out - cry - and grieve. 

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KayC

I know it's such a long arduous painful process, trying to adjust after the loss of a furry family member that is one you are very close to...AJW is right, I watched her go through this, it was a long and painful process but she gives us hope that we'll also get through our losses.  She's right that we do need to pay heed to our grief, to cry.  It can help to journal or keep coming here and posting your feelings, it helps to express it.  I'm very sorry for what you're going through, I know there are caring people on this site that listen and understand, even though everyone's grief is unique, there are also some similarities, enough that we can relate.  Sending you thoughts and prayers your way for comfort and peace.

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clowdy02

I just hope I can get through it second guessing myself If only I could have done differently if only I tried going to different vet clinic. If only we would have changed the medication sooner since the second medication was working I got his appetite back during the last 4 days I was caring him at home. I am living with what ifs now since I loved him very much I don't  want to give him up yet but his body gave up on us. I miss seeing my cat doing his everyday routine. He was in every spot in our house,  I miss the way he talked to me through his eyes blinking back to me when I blinked to him  while saying I love him. I am praying to God to help  me heal and lessen the pain 

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KayC

This is part of grief, all the "what ifs", it's like we're trying to find a different outcome, but there isn't any.  I hope you know that you were a good parent and loved him and would have done anything you could for him.  Sometimes things are beyond our control or we just don't know.  We aren't vets, we rely on them to know, sometimes they let us down, sometimes there just isn't anything could be done.  :(
http://media.wix.com/ugd/0dd4a5_e934e7f92d104d31bcb334d6c6d63974.pdf
https://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml

 

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clowdy02

I am always reading the link you gave everytime . Thank you.

I still think of my cat everyday I still cry everyday. It's still very hard for me. I hope the pain goes away. it's really hurting me because I love my cat so much. He was one of a kind doing lots of things to get my attention. I am avoiding eating chicken because that was his favorite food, I hope I can get through this because it's really hard

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KayC

I think there's a certain amount of letting ourselves feel the pain and cry the tears in order to process our grief, it's okay to feel sad, we have something to feel sad about.  It won't always stay at this intensity, so hold onto that. I've been through a LOT of grief.  I feel I don't know how I;ll get through my dog;s death, he's scheduled for euthanasia for Friday morning, it has to be, I don't want him to suffer any more than he has already, but oh God I don;t know how I'll live through this.  We need something to live for, some hope, but at times like this, it's dang hard.

You can avoid chicken or you could eat it in his honor, neither way is wrong, it's whatever you feel is best.

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clowdy02

How can I let go my anger with the vets because they made mistakes on giving my cat wrong medication that made him worse. I'm still stuck on the stage of if onlys and what ifs. That I if only I gave the right medication early on, But I know nothing can be done but it still very painful for me 

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Jyotsna

Clowdy02 It's so hard for to type this. My baby boy Yoda died on Wednesday. He would do the same like your pet cat. He would stand upright in front of me and hold on to my legs when I was giving him treats. He was only a year old but he would brighten up the whole house. He was the most energetic cat and everyone loved it. Today is day 4 of my loss and it's so so so hard. I don't feel like eating I absolutely can't sleep. Maybe it's so much more harder because it was all so sudden. Just the other day I was googling 'when does a cat reach his full growth' coz my boy still was kind of small like a big kitten at 1 year old. I was excited to see how he would grow. And the next thing I know, I have just gotten back from work and my aunty is screaming from downstairs saying she found Yoda dead outside. She said he was just playing with our other foster cat sometime back. It killed me to see him lifeless. It took me so long to agree that he is dead. I wish I had taken him to the vet though just to confirm. But my dad kept saying no look he isn't breathing, his tongue is out and pale his eyes are rolled back and it's true he wasn't breathing.  We think a car went over him and he walked towards my house and laid down and died. We have buried him my house now. But I just want him back. Or I just want this feeling to go away. 

KayC I don't even know what to say to you about your pet dog because no matter what anyone says will make anything better for u It is a very tough decision but u know best that he is suffering and we would be cruel to watch them suffer than let them go peacefully and I hope your pain subsides in knowing that his pain has subsided

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KayC

@clowdy02

This is all a process and it seems there's nothing quick about it...I hope you'll read the articles again and again until it begins to sink in...sometimes it takes some positive affirmations.  I'm sorry this is so painful, oh God don't I know it!  Have you considered getting some professional grief counseling with someone who specializes in pet loss?

@Jyotsna

I'm so sorry about your cat.  Having something like that happen out of the blue can be such a shock, it's hard to absorb.

Hugs to both of you.

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broken duck

I just want to say I am so sorry for your loss and I understand how you feel. It's so hard. Your cat was vey lucky to have been loved so much. Take care. <3 

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