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My husband and I separated after 7 years together. I honestly was ok at first as I thought it would be temporary. I mean, this is my marriage, my husband who loves me. He moved to a city an hour away to stay with a friend. Then it became a whole "since I moved I realized I hated living there, i don't want to be with you, we are done for good". I went into the initial frantic texts/emails/phone calls like a crazy neurotic person. The final straw was a mean phone call from him telling me it's done and we had a shitty marriage and since he's moved he's so much happier without me. I went home that night with a plan to take pills. The pain and the hurt was unbearable. My stomach felt like it was kicked over and over and over and my heart physically hurt. I ended up going to the hospital. I'm on medication obviously for severe depression and i'm in therapy but i'm destroyed. A couple of days later he texted asking if we could just have a calm logical phone call. During the call he apologized for the hurtful things he said and that I just wasn't giving him space and time to think. He said he has no idea what he wants but him and I need to take baby steps. He said he bought a town house and he couldn't stay with his buddy forever and that when he gets settled he wants me and the dogs  to come stay a night/weekend.  The next day he asked if he could stop in and see the dogs and I agreed. He bought me a new charm for my bracelet as our anniversary was coming up saying "of course I did, you are still my wife". The next morning I had a therapy appt and he showed up to surprise me and spend the day with me which turned into overnight and having sex of course." He left early the next day. I didn't hear from him for the next 24 hours so I of course started texting again. "whatchya doing", "who did you go with?". He lost it and said I got the wrong impression from his visits and that he doesn't even know if he wants "us" and i'm not giving him space by texting him and asking him what he's doing etc.... I'm so destroyed and I just want my husband back. I don't understand what is going on and what to do. I am so shattered it is physically breaking my heart.

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I am destroyed by what has happened on my end as well. I can’t really find a reason or a means to go on. 

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