Members chincube Posted July 13, 2019 Members Report Share Posted July 13, 2019 Tomorrow will be the 100th day without him and I found out that it coincides with the day I take a 33 hours journey to his home. I think it'd be a trip that would do me good, although I'm aware that being around his home and places we had memory with will be hard on me. People has been asking whether I'm ready this week, my automatic response is always yeah I just need to pack few things more. And when they grill more clarifying they meant if my heart is ready, I don't know what to say. How would I ever be ready, to be there without him? To go on this trip alone (though his family and friends will be there for me) while we had made so many plans what we would do? But still I managed, I went to work as usual these weeks, I functioned quite well, I packed things. I managed to accept that this is my life now and be somehow normal. I'm supposed to do some last minute packing today. But instead I've been laying in bed crying in the last few hours. Starting to panic how would I react when I arrive there, and the one person I can talk to is not there anymore. This was supposed to be a really sweet and happy trip that we've been looking forward to. Now I don't even find subjective for it. Pardon my emotional vomiting again... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Judi1teacher Posted July 13, 2019 Members Report Share Posted July 13, 2019 Good luck. I’m heartsick too. I’m only 30 days. Anxious and sad. Can’t sleep or eat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted July 13, 2019 Moderators Report Share Posted July 13, 2019 @chincube Sometimes we feel with a person but don't know what to say, this is one of those times. Just know my heart is with you through this and I will be praying for you and thinking of you as you go. You've done so well and held it together enough to function, work, but sometimes we let down and just have to have a day under the covers, crying. Thinking of you as you go... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted July 13, 2019 Moderators Report Share Posted July 13, 2019 57 minutes ago, Judi1teacher said: Good luck. I’m heartsick too. I’m only 30 days. Anxious and sad. Can’t sleep or eat Welcome here. 30 days is so very fresh! Anxiety is common in grief...I hope you're seeing a doctor for your anxiety and sleep issues. If you can't eat, maybe you can make a smoothie to get some nourishment into you. I make one with yogurt, strawberries, banana, granola, protein powder, and spinach. It's very healthy and tastes good as well. I hope you'll start a thread and tell us more of your story so we can respond, it helps to have a place to express ourselves and know we're heard and understood. We want to be there for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members chincube Posted July 13, 2019 Author Members Report Share Posted July 13, 2019 1 hour ago, KayC said: @chincube Sometimes we feel with a person but don't know what to say, this is one of those times. Just know my heart is with you through this and I will be praying for you and thinking of you as you go. You've done so well and held it together enough to function, work, but sometimes we let down and just have to have a day under the covers, crying. Thinking of you as you go... Thanks KayC, you have always been so very kind. And indeed, I just needed to tell somebody or I'm going crazy! Now after some cry I already feel better, and you are right, I should be gentle to myself and let myself cry when I need to. Thanks for your thoughts and kind words! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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