Shouldn't's

[superbcandyangel]

I have been told

 

That after so long

 

I shouldn't be feeling this way.

 

That I shouldn't feel like breaking

 

Every time I hear that song.

 

That I shouldn't shatter

 

Every time I hear a car horn

 

Or a hit and run headline

 

Or her name.

 

I shouldn't still be crying

 

When I think

 

About the rainbow over her funeral

 

And how she would've loved to see it.

 

I shouldn't weep

 

For every year I've lived

 

More than she ever got to.

 

For everything that she'll never see.

 

I shouldn't still be writing poetry

 

About her.

 

I shouldn't.

 

I shouldn't.

 

I shouldn't.

 

Grief doesn't listen to shouldn't's.

 

Grief hears a shouldn't

 

And it sounds like a car horn.

 

Grief hears a shouldn't

 

And it sounds like a challenge.

 

Grief hears a shouldn't

 

And it sounds

 

Disappointed.

 

It's been over a year.

 

Two.

 

Three.

 

I can't believe you're still grieving.

 

Why aren't you over it?

 

Why can't you just be over it?

 

I don't know if I'll ever be.

 

Yes, I still jump at car horns.

 

Yes, I still cry over the songs we sang.

 

Yes, I wish it were different.

 

I wish it could be different.

 

But that doesn't make me wrong

 

For feeling.

 

For crying.

 

For grieving.

 

You shouldn't tell me how long I'm supposed to take

 

To move forward

 

And I shouldn't listen if you do.