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I have been told
That after so long
I shouldn't be feeling this way.
That I shouldn't feel like breaking
Every time I hear that song.
That I shouldn't shatter
Every time I hear a car horn
Or a hit and run headline
Or her name.
I shouldn't still be crying
When I think
About the rainbow over her funeral
And how she would've loved to see it.
I shouldn't weep
For every year I've lived
More than she ever got to.
For everything that she'll never see.
I shouldn't still be writing poetry
About her.
I shouldn't.
I shouldn't.
I shouldn't.
Grief doesn't listen to shouldn't's.
Grief hears a shouldn't
And it sounds like a car horn.
Grief hears a shouldn't
And it sounds like a challenge.
Grief hears a shouldn't
And it sounds
It's been over a year.
I can't believe you're still grieving.
Why aren't you over it?
Why can't you just be over it?
I don't know if I'll ever be.
Yes, I still jump at car horns.
Yes, I still cry over the songs we sang.
Yes, I wish it were different.
I wish it could be different.
But that doesn't make me wrong
For feeling.
For crying.
For grieving.
You shouldn't tell me how long I'm supposed to take
To move forward
And I shouldn't listen if you do.
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