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superbcandyangel

Shouldn't's

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superbcandyangel
I have been told
 
That after so long
 
I shouldn't be feeling this way.
 
That I shouldn't feel like breaking
 
Every time I hear that song.
 
That I shouldn't shatter
 
Every time I hear a car horn
 
Or a hit and run headline
 
Or her name.
 
I shouldn't still be crying
 
When I think
 
About the rainbow over her funeral
 
And how she would've loved to see it.
 
I shouldn't weep
 
For every year I've lived
 
More than she ever got to.
 
For everything that she'll never see.
 
I shouldn't still be writing poetry
 
About her.
 
I shouldn't.
 
I shouldn't.
 
I shouldn't.
 
Grief doesn't listen to shouldn't's.
 
Grief hears a shouldn't
 
And it sounds like a car horn.
 
Grief hears a shouldn't
 
And it sounds like a challenge.
 
Grief hears a shouldn't
 
And it sounds
 
Disappointed.
 
It's been over a year.
 
Two.
 
Three.
 
I can't believe you're still grieving.
 
Why aren't you over it?
 
Why can't you just be over it?
 
I don't know if I'll ever be.
 
Yes, I still jump at car horns.
 
Yes, I still cry over the songs we sang.
 
Yes, I wish it were different.
 
I wish it could be different.
 
But that doesn't make me wrong
 
For feeling.
 
For crying.
 
For grieving.
 
You shouldn't tell me how long I'm supposed to take
 
To move forward
 
And I shouldn't listen if you do.

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