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yenwd

My 6 year old guinea pig died today in a painful way

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yenwd

I have a guinea pig that is around 6 years of age now, she was still very healthy and beautiful yesterday morning when I left home. But just when I came back in the evening, she lied flatly on her bed, unable to move and eat anything. I was suspicious that something inside her body was damaging, can be a tumor of some sort. It was over 7 PM and all the vets around my place was closed already, so I had to wait until next morning to take her to a vet. The next day which is today, I put her inside a small cage and drove her to the hospital, I completed the paper form the doctor gave me and was waiting for the doc to come check her out. 5 minutes later, the doc came inside to look at her and told me she was dying. I couldn't believe it, uttered some crying sound and touched her the last time. It took a few minutes for her to die. She could barely breath normally before that. Her 4 legs couldn't support her body any more, totally contrast to the healthy image of my baby just a day ago. I still remember her painful eyes looking at me for help. When I came home with her dead body, that was when I learned that somebody in my family dropped a heavy wooden branch on her. The force was so strong that caused the guinea pig's death. 

I spend the rest of the day wandering around the city, to the area where I got her from and cried through the way. How can I ever overcome this kind of unexpected loss? Anyone has experience on this? I would love to read something.

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KayC

I am so sorry!  I wish your family member that dropped the branch on her would have let you know immediately so your guinea pig could have been tended to sooner instead of how it went.  It must have been excruciating to have her look at you for help and not be able to do anything.  :(

Many of us have had sudden losses.  It's very hard in that we have no time to prepare ourselves.  As my mentor, Marty Tousley, has told us many times, it's not merely the passage of time but what we do with that time that helps.  Working through our grief.  Journaling, reading books and articles, grief counseling, grief support groups, I've even done art therapy!  The grief process is just that, a process, and it does take time to get through it, but many people with the passage of time still find themselves stuck in the same place, having done nothing to help themselves through it.  I don't mean that as a criticism, for how are they to know how to navigate their way through grief?  Some fight for a cause to bring good meaning to this bad happening...Dr. Phil advocates this.  

Memorializing a pet also can help.

Here are some articles to get you started.  I hope you'll continue to come here and post as this truly is a journey, not one just over and done with.  You may have questions or a particular issue you don't know how to deal with, I hope you'll bring your concerns here so we can help you if we can.

https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2014/08/grief-understanding-process.html
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/p/pet-loss-articles.html
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/animal-attachment/201703/my-pet-died-and-i-cant-stop-crying
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2013/03/memorializing-pets-we-have-lost.html
http://www.griefhealing.com/memorializing.htm
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2011/03/using-art-as-path-for-healing.html
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2010/09/is-pet-loss-comparable-to-loss-of-loved.html
 

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yenwd

Thanks for your kind words. I love reading book, I was still reading a book the morning before her appointment. Hoping it would calm me down and reminded myself that everything would be fine after seeing the vet. Her loss was completely unexpected, I don't have strength to read books at the moment. In the years to come, I will still remember my sweet baby girl, all the joy and pain she brought to my life. I can't still believe she actually passed away. I am impressed with those words from the first article in your links:

Grief is extremely powerful. It can catch you totally unprepared, knock you off balance and shake you to the core. It can be painful beyond words — physically, emotionally, socially and spiritually — and it can change your life completely. Grief serves to remind you how fragile life is and how vulnerable you are to loss. It can make your present life seem meaningless, and take away your hope for the future.

 

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AJWCat

I am so sorry you have had to go through this with your sweet pet. At least you were there to try and save her - you did all you could. I know how sad you must be I hope you are okay. 

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yenwd

I had a bad feeling the past few days before her sudden death, as if something would be gone from my life. It was an unnerving, uncomfortable feeling - something I attributed to my own depression. Even my coworkers noticed it and tried to calm me down. One day I had a dream: something like balls of fire falling off from a higher spot downhill, down and real fast. It hit on to something, only blurry image. Everybody in my family was running away & yelling. My baby was still doing well then. The day after that, she was unable to walk ever again due to that accident, something I only learned later on. The night before I took her to the vet, I had another strange dream. I saw myself hurrying around the house, with other people follow after me. Then I enter a room with its opened door & saw a cat. The cat was there looking at me as if he/she was waiting to tell me something. 

The next day I took my baby to see the vet, along with another family member. Right after I came near the entrance door, an orange cat was there behind the door. He/she seemed friendly. I took my baby to a room waiting for the doctor. I took a minute to get out of that room, my baby's breathing tortured me. There was another room with its door opened next to that, and the orange cat came to me again. I said hi to him/her, and the cat came close to me, let me pet and caress naturally. As if the cat was trying to console me. A few minutes later, the doc came in and informed me that my baby girl was dying. I shall never forget that day....

Thanks for reading my story, it cams my nerve & really helpful.

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KayC

When my husband passed away, I couldn't watch t.v. for a few years, couldn't read a book for pleasure for ten years!  It can take away your interest in hobbies or just plain life in general.  This can change, but it takes effort.  In the beginning, don't worry about it, it's okay to immerse yourself in grief.  You will know when it's time to push out of your comfort zone and begin fighting the battle for more than mere existence.  And it can be an ongoing struggle.  I've learned to let it flow like riding the waves, it can be a rollercoaster of emotion.

I wrote this article at about ten years out from losing my husband, of the things I've found helpful.  I hope even one thing speaks out to you today and perhaps another thing later one.

TIPS TO MAKE YOUR WAY THROUGH GRIEF

There's no way to sum up how to go on in a simple easy answer, but I encourage you to read the other threads here, little by little you will learn how to make your way through this.  I do want to give you some pointers though, of some things I've learned on my journey.

  • Take one day at a time.  The Bible says each day has enough trouble of it's own, I've found that to be true, so don't bite off more than you can chew.  It can be challenging enough just to tackle today.  I tell myself, I only have to get through today.  Then I get up tomorrow and do it all over again.  To think about the "rest of my life" invites anxiety.
  • Don't be afraid, grief may not end but it evolves.  The intensity lessens eventually.
  • Visit your doctor.  Tell them about your loss, any troubles sleeping, suicidal thoughts, anxiety attacks.  They need to know these things in order to help you through it...this is all part of grief.
  • Suicidal thoughts are common in early grief.  If they're reoccurring, call a suicide hotline.  I felt that way early on, but then realized it wasn't that I wanted to die so much as I didn't want to go through what I'd have to face if I lived.  Back to taking a day at a time.  Suicide Hotline - Call 1-800-273-8255
  • Give yourself permission to smile.  It is not our grief that binds us to them, but our love, and that continues still.
  • Try not to isolate too much.  
  • There's a balance to reach between taking time to process our grief, and avoiding it...it's good to find that balance for yourself.  We can't keep so busy as to avoid our grief, it has a way of haunting us, finding us, and demanding we pay attention to it!  Some people set aside time every day to grieve.  I didn't have to, it searched and found me!
  • Self-care is extremely important, more so than ever.  That person that would have cared for you is gone, now you're it...learn to be your own best friend, your own advocate, practice self-care.  You'll need it more than ever.
  • Recognize that your doctor isn't trained in grief, find a professional grief counselor that is.  We need help finding ourselves through this maze of grief, knowing where to start, etc.  They have not only the knowledge, but the resources.
  • In time, consider a grief support group.  If your friends have not been through it themselves, they may not understand what you're going through, it helps to find someone somewhere who DOES "get it". 
  • Be patient, give yourself time.  There's no hurry or timetable about cleaning out belongings, etc.  They can wait, you can take a year, ten years, or never deal with it.  It's okay, it's what YOU are comfortable with that matters.  
  • Know that what we are comfortable with may change from time to time.  That first couple of years I put his pictures up, took them down, up, down, depending on whether it made me feel better or worse.  Finally, they were up to stay.
  • Consider a pet.  Not everyone is a pet fan, but I've found that my dog helps immensely.  It's someone to love, someone to come home to, someone happy to see me, someone that gives me a purpose...I have to come home and feed him.  Besides, they're known to relieve stress.  Well maybe not in the puppy stage when they're chewing up everything, but there's older ones to adopt if you don't relish that stage.
  • Make yourself get out now and then.  You may not feel interest in anything, things that interested you before seem to feel flat now.  That's normal.  Push yourself out of your comfort zone just a wee bit now and then.  Eating out alone, going to a movie alone or church alone, all of these things are hard to do at first.  You may feel you flunked at it, cried throughout, that's okay, you did it, you tried, and eventually you get a little better at it.  If I waited until I had someone to do things with I'd be stuck at home a lot.
  • Keep coming here.  We've been through it and we're all going through this together.
  • Look for joy in every day.  It will be hard to find at first, but in practicing this, it will change your focus so you can embrace what IS rather than merely focusing on what ISN'T.  It teaches you to live in the present and appreciate fully.  You have lost your big joy in life, and all other small joys may seem insignificant in comparison, but rather than compare what used to be to what is, learn the ability to appreciate each and every small thing that comes your way...a rainbow, a phone call from a friend, unexpected money, a stranger smiling at you, whatever the small joy, embrace it.  It's an art that takes practice and is life changing if you continue it.
  • Eventually consider volunteering.  It helps us when we're outward focused, it's a win/win.

(((hugs))) Praying for you today.

 

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