Loss of a cat

[ZoeSmith]

Yesterday after I got home from school my Mum asked to talk to me. She told me that my cat had died early that morning but didn’t want to tell me as I had school. 

Both my Mum and Dad are sad but not as much I’m feeling. I feel silly feeling so depressed and distraught about him as he’s ‘just a cat’ but I loved him so much. He died at twelve years old which I think is pretty old but also means I don’t really remember him not being here (I’m 15). 

I feel guilty. My room is downstairs. He came inside during the night and came firstly into my room to die (I know this because he slept on my white top and had his black hair on it). This makes me feel so bad because I was sleeping and wish so so much I could of said goodbye and been with him. He then went into the lounge and curled up beneath the coffee table and died. I’m happy to think he died peacefully and where he felt safe. But I just wish I could have said goodbye. He was a bit ill- we’d just taken him to the vet a few days earlier. He’s had a problem with his nose and breathing for a few years but all the vets we went to said it was nothing. This time they said he had some sort of injection. But also might have found a problem with his kidneys, but were unsure. The vet said we could leave him there but we choose to take him home. I’m glad that we took him home. Glad that he died at home with us. But also if we left him there he could still be here, then again he could of died there instead and not been as happy (he hates being kept inside). 

I loved him so much. I miss him already. It’s sounds a bit stupid but I feel empty without him. I saw his body and said goodbye. We then buried him. I’m so distraught at the fact I will never see him again. I know it will get better as time goes on but right now it feels like that will never happen.

Any advice?

thank you 

 

[+Jeffrey+]

ZoeSmith,

I am sorry for the loss of your little friend. I lost my dear cat back in January, and I loved her more than anything in this world. And nothing in your post is stupid, or sounds silly. Nothing at all. You loved your cat, and I'm sure he loved you just as much. And I know how sad you're feeling right now, and there may be many more sad days ahead for you. I do know this; it will get easier for you with time. One day you will wake up, and instead of feeling sad, you will smile while thinking of a beautiful memory of your dear friend. 

I wish you the very best, and hope you get to feeling better soon. 

[KayC]

Zoe,

I am so sorry for the loss of your cat.  Nothing silly about it, you are grieving and feeling distraught is part of it.  We eventually adjust to their being absent from us but we continue to love and miss them always.  You will never forget your cat.  As Jeffrey said, eventually this intense sadness will turn into a smile as we think of them, it does take time.  It helps to journal, write out your feelings, you can do that in a notebook or here on line.

if he had kidney problems, he was likely to die whether he stayed at the vet or went home.  I have a dog with cancer and I know it's a matter of time, I hate that, he's been my companion for over ten years and he's my joy.  Unfortunately it's part of life's cycle, but I hate loss!

Sending comforting thoughts and prayers for peace...