Jump to content
Forum Conduct & Guidelines Document ×

My sweet sister is gone


SamWeller

Recommended Posts

  • Members
Nicole-my grief journey

Sam,

You’re in my thoughts. My heart goes out to you. In losing my two siblings I empathize with you. For me, I have felt many things. It felt like my heart was gone, I was missing half of me, a loss of identity, questions about the future and spinning out in my mind about having to go forward without those I love the most...and so many more feelings and emotions. Including the hurt of no longer having them physically here. Therapy has helped me process my grief and learn some coping tools. Writing and sharing about my sibling has helped. And walking a lot! I obviously cry and at times feel paralyzed in my grief. I suffer from depression and so I have to make sure I set up appointments and plans to be around others, even though I want to isolate. It’s like my world stopped and I was watching everyone else go along with their every day lives while I was in such deep suffering. The grief will change. I know that doesn’t help right now, but I want to offer some hope for the future because in the beginning of my grief journey I felt lost and like there could never be light again. That has changed for me with not denying or hiding my feelings, memorializing/ honoring my siblings and still doing things we used to do together when I felt ready and up for it. Please continue to share with us. We care. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Your words are a bright light in an otherwise dark road I am walking down. Sometimes I feel like joining my sister. I am crushed beyond belief.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
Nicole-my grief journey

Hugs Sam,

I know that darkness. The complete feeling of devastation. Please keep holding on. It’s worth holding on. I didn’t think my feelings and emotions would change. I went minute by minute, then hour by hour and now I go day by day. It has become more bearable with time and I truly felt it never would. I was emotionally shredded and didn’t eat, couldn’t get out of bed, showering felt like a hard, exhausting task. I felt like I couldn’t go out into the world and interact with people and I didn’t want to. It’s a scary, lonely spot to be in. Please make sure you are checking in with a least one person you trust. For me, I checked in with a friend (even if just texting an emoji to let her know I was still here) and I checked in with my therapist. Looking back I’m so glad that I did. It kept me going. I miss my brothers laugh, how we knew each other better than anyone else, his nicknames for me, his big brown eyes, things he did that drive me crazy like only siblings can do. I miss sharing my thoughts with him, hearing about his day, how he was so loving towards my parents. I miss all of that and so much more. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Hey Sam,

My sister died on February 27th of last year. Just got on this site because I was looking for a forum to share my thoughts. As it approaches the year anniversary of her death I have become increasingly anxious and paranoid in all aspects of my life. It still doesn't feel real for me. My sister was only 22. It doesn't feel fair to me and I don't know if I am ever going to truly move on, nor do I want to. Sometimes it feels weird even bringing her up in conversations to people because I don't want them to look at me any differently. Repression and depression have become normalized to me. Reading what Nicole wrote above is great because I know there are other people who have made it through this horrible journey that we are on. I still miss my sister bugging me, going to the gym with her, going out to parties with her, and just the simple things like watching a movie together. I don't know if I am ever going to be okay, and it is really scary for me to think that at times. Darkness creeps on me from day to day but as the months have gone by I have gotten a little better. Unfortunately it is getting close to the year mark and I am feeling all that pain again. I saw a therapist for a while and that helped, but lately I have moved further away from the isolation I put myself in and have relied on my brother, parents, and friends to help me in these dark times because we are all in it together. I am in it with you and everyone who lost someone as important to them as your sister. I will never not miss her and you won't either. This pain is temporary, but love is forever! 

Denine 7/12/96-2/27/19 16:03

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
Barbara Serating

I lost my sister unexpectedly on October 13,2020.  We were very close all our lives.  She was my only sibling and we were 6 years apart.  She was 70 years old and I was the older sister. We always had an amazing relationship all of our lives. She was in kidney failure at age 38.  I was fortunate enough to be able to give her a kidney four months later.  The kidney lasted for over a decade. She then had a vascular necrosis of both of her hips due to the affects of the Prednisone that helped her body not reject her new kidney. She had 7 hip replacements in less than two years.  She survived numerous septic infections over her lifetime. She went back on dialysis for five years until she received a cadaver kidney which lasted until she passed away.  She was not feeling well for the last two days of her life. She refused to go to the hospital. The day she died she went to take a shower and was found curled up in a ball naked on her bedroom floor by her husband. We had a private Memorial Service at her home last Friday. I gave the eulogy. I am unable to find a bereavement group to join in person due to the Pandemic.I live in NC and am looking to find an online support group. I am devastated and badly need some help with my immense pain and loss. I am a retired RN  and all my friends have moved away. I am married and together we have 3 adult married children, 6 grandchildren and 2 great grandchildren. They all live in other states. I am fortunate enough to have my brother in law living Three minutes away. He is starting to go to a grief support group for men  only this Wednesday. I am a strong women who will get through this. I really need a grief support group. My email address is esnwes@gmail.com.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Hi Sam

You posted nearly 2 years ago but I know time does very little to the pain of the loss of loved ones. My sister passed away in 2018 and till this day I feel the pain and absence. It might not be what it was the first few week but it is still there. People are not lying when they say they've thought of lost loved ones EVERY SINGLE DAY since. 

I hope you have found comfort and purpose since then. And I hope her loss, as devastating and heart-breaking as it may be, is something that has made you a stronger and wiser man/ son/ parent/partner/sibling/friend. We are all riddled with pain, yet everyday we rise up and make it through the day.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

This site uses cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. and uses these terms of services Terms of Use.